Between helping and disabling them?
2007-08-28 07:06:48 · 9 answers · asked by kayboff 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
Them...meaning someone you love.
2007-08-28 07:07:26 · update #1
For me, it was when I was having to clean up my own mess & the mess from my room mate who was also my adult child. The breaking point was when my own possessions were never returned to the place where they were taken from & I was spending more looking for things than I wanted to. We no longer live together & I have learned to step over the piles when I go to visit. I want to clean, but I won't because I have been asked not to & I have to respect that request, even though I don't enjoy having to see it! I now have the option of going to my own tidy little place.
2007-08-28 07:46:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
The line is not nearly as fine as you think it may be. If they are living their lives in a manner that you cannot financially approve of, they have crossed the line. If not, then you help as little as possible. If they are not willing to help themselves, no amount of help in the world will do the trick. It may sound cruel, but after they leave home, treat them as you would a friend...some help may be necessary, but with friends, we set a limit and stick to it. Why not the same with kids? Fortunately, my kids would rather die than ask for a hand. On the otherhand, I have one who I wish WOULD ask, but I am not going to hold my breath.
2007-08-28 08:16:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actually, I think it starts with that very first "help" to meet an unexpected bill, or to allow them to buy a bigger toy. If they are not living within the parameters of the amount of money they earn on their own, then you are helping them towards their eventual downfall (or yours). Because they WILL take advantage of you more and more, until you put your foot down solidly, look them straight in the eye and say "Not a penny more! No matter what."
2007-08-28 07:59:10 · answer #3 · answered by Susie Q 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
K,theres always been a line, either can step on ,or over this goes especialy when their seeing each other,,such as men----don't like talkin about other girls(ole gf)that tricky little thing girls do to try & get in his head ETC ETC> the line is sometimes so thin you can't really see it til you've steped over it...kinda hard to explain, hope ya get da meanin<>ISIS
2007-08-28 11:18:53 · answer #4 · answered by THE"IS" 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends. let them try to do things for themselves first, observe their difficulties and then offer assistance when needed. don't assume they can't do something. remember they have feelings and need to make decisions for themselves. if they don't want help then don't help. it's their choice to make. as long as their not in danger or putting someone else in danger we need to respect their choice and back off.
2007-08-28 07:18:31 · answer #5 · answered by macy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fortunately, I haven't had to face that yet. My parents are in their late eighties and are still trying to take care of me! May it continue to be so. They are just beginning to act old. :o)
2007-08-28 07:18:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When they NEED your help and when they just want you to do everything for them. You need to set priorities, between needs & wants!!!
2007-08-28 07:53:45 · answer #7 · answered by ♫ Bubastes, Cat Goddess♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When they are wasting their own money and counting on me to bail them out.
2007-08-28 08:12:09 · answer #8 · answered by ncgirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish I knew.
2007-08-28 07:11:55 · answer #9 · answered by gabeymac♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋