It was about friends, i mean that he has friends that he like to invite over, or go hang with, and alot of the time i go with or am there. But when i want to go hang with my friends, or have them come over, he's like im not gonna be here i dont want to go with you and your friends, What do i need to do I mean i Love him with everything but i need friends and its nice to go on double dates or just hang and have a good time what do i need to do to get him to get him to stop being so stubborn..... I sacrafice a lot for him too, why cant he do a little thing for me?
2007-08-28 07:03:51 · 17 answers · asked by Living in Hell 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
whoa! you just gave me something to think about. I can't stand some of my wife's friends and when they come over, I hide out. When my friends come over, my wife is cordial and nice. She accompanies me to my friends' house for get togethers... I don't know if she even likes my friends... but she knows how I feel about hers.... hmmmm To your question, maybe he doesn't realize he's being selfish! I'm going to go kiss my wife now!
2007-08-28 07:33:45 · answer #1 · answered by txgasman64 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I read some of your answers from other people and I have to tell you, It really appears to be more about defining limits to each other. Let's face it, even when we're in a relationship we all need our space and we all choose our own support group. Maybe you should let him visit his friends without you. He'll probably get sick of them after a while and want to spend more time with you. You can't realistically ask him to enjoy the company of your friends, though. I would wager you all probably want to do things together that most men simply cannot enjoy. Case in point: we hate shopping, but we go with you, anyway.
I would say that you should let him take a more active role in deciding where you go for a double date. There are any number of things you and he and your friends can do together but let him be a man. He may well want the company of another man while all your friends are around. You all might be having a book club while he and a male friend are drinking beer and grilling burgers out on the deck...
Get my drift?
2007-08-28 14:25:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What's wrong with having your own time with your own friends? You can't ALWAYS be together. Aren't there times his friends are arounda nd you're bored, or you would rather be with your people. Dont' expect anything from him. I mean, a double date every once in a while is not a bad thing, but neither is you each having space to do what you want with your own friends. If it's a stupid argument, why are you still arguing about it?
Besides....if you start hanging more with your friends, i'm pretty sure at some point he's gonna miss you and want to come, too. Mine used to....
2007-08-28 14:09:54 · answer #3 · answered by karamell08 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
MAYBE he thinks you want some girl time? A lot of girls want to leave the boys at home once in a while for a girls night out. It's possible he feels like he would be imposing...
Or maybe he simply doesn't like your friends? Maybe also, by him not wanting to be around your friends, he could be hinting that HE needs his GUY TIME. You said that most of the time, you're with them. Maybe he's indirectly hinting that he wants you to do your own thing so he can do his own thing.
Or maybe he's cheating on you and the only time he can is when you go hang out with your friends...
I just did a lot of jumping around but, I'm trying to give different possible [maybe not probable] reasons he is like this.
Was he always like this?
My advice is to tell him everything you told us, calmly. Maybe say something like, "I know that you and I need our own guy and girl time but, sometimes I'd like us to go on double dates and stuff. I think we would have a lot of fun." By saying this, you both will end up getting what you want and things will be great.
2007-08-28 14:16:29 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps he's uncomfortable hanging around women. Many times when women hang out together, they verbally bash men. Imagine being a man having to listen to that. He may feel left out. Or they discuss female things, which makes men uncomfortable. Or they go shopping which is a woman thing, not typically a man thing to do. There are probably men things he likes that you probably don't want to do, and he doesn't MAKE you go to them. Find out if this is the reason. If so, he has a valid point. If not, then tell him you do things with his friends, you'd appreciate the same respect. You don't have to be with him and his friends all the time. Use that time to do things with your friends. I let my husband have his friends, and he lets me do things with mine. Sometimes we all get together.
2007-08-28 14:09:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHAT??!! Why would your husband want to hang out with you and your girly friends! Poor guy! and you call that selfish!?? If he dont want to hang out with your firiends then go without him; your married for goodness sakes; he is nt going anywhere! That is not a sacrifice; its leisure time! Apologize for bugging him over something so minute and tell him you respect his wishes and then peace out and go enjoy your frineds. If you do this and stop nagging him about :sacrifices" he might be more inclined to come next time around. Your trying to make that man be friends with your friends - wow.
2007-08-28 14:15:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have left some large holes in the information provided. Has he met our friends? How do they interact with him? Do they have anything in common with him that would be considered interesting to both parties? What other "little things" is he already doing for you? I only see your side of the story printed here. You should probably get a clearer idea of his perspective. Then you may be able to suggest a reasonable compromise.
2007-08-28 14:12:50 · answer #7 · answered by Danny B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
alot of the times my husband and i have the same argument its really about them being insecure i'm not saying he doesnt trust you it may be he doesnt trust your friends but i have two tactics
A: explain to him that you love him and only him and that no one could steal your heart. (if you make him feel like hes the best i find personally this works best but if he still doesnt give)
B: refuse to go with him and his friends or have them over and say you want hang with them so he cant go (alot of the time if you dont teach a guy who in control they will "**** in your shoe" much like puppies)
It'll hit hard but its effective
AND last... this card works indefinitely
C: (a personal fave) threaten to leave. now i know it seems crazy but if hes truly madly deeply in love begs for you back you have just entered the stages of whipping a man to your perfect hubby just explain like you did here you do lots of things for him and name a few things youve done in the last month and make your demands
and if it doesnt work even though you love him hes not being fair you may have to just get up and go
2007-08-28 14:27:36 · answer #8 · answered by Ellie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Will your friends be there for you when you need financial assistance? How about when you give birth? Will they be there to share your childs first words? or steps? How about when one of your parents pass? Who will hold you when you cry? Will a friend get up in the middle of the night and come to your house to take care of you if you should feel ill? Do you see my point here yet? Friends will come and go. Whom do you hold in your heart more dearly?
2007-08-28 14:12:40 · answer #9 · answered by jaypea40 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Ugh...Mine is this way to. I think heis a bit anti-social. It sucks but i just ahve to deal with it.
I would suggest that you stop going with him and maybe he will realize how you feel.
2007-08-28 14:36:23 · answer #10 · answered by bellesnail 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋