My boyfriend is my best friend at college?

Question

I've been with my b/f for a year and a half, and we're both in love with each other, and we both are juniors in college together. We do everything together, eat, walk around campus, etc. If we're not in class or studying, we're together. We both have acquaintances other then each other, but no close friends. We both "went in blind" for the roomate situation because we didn't know anyone else to live with. We also are both studying aboad together. We're both involved in different clubs, and work at different places, but he is my best friend, so I haven't made alot of other friends besides him at college. Sometimes I see all of these people with a "group" of friends, and I wonder if there's something wrong with me for not having that, like I did in high school. My boyfriend is my best friend so I don't really feel like I have to have that. I don't really know how to make "best friends" with girls at this point, it just seems like people come and go as acquaintances. Any suggestions?

He does have more close friends then me right now because the college for him is close to home, whereas I'm 3 hours away so I don't really have anyone other than him. I have acquaintances and I'm involved.. so I don't know what else to do.

Answer 1

Well, even though you are kind of isolating yourselves and limiting your possibilities for making other friends, there's nothing inherently wrong with having your BF as your BFF, LOL. Wow, that was a lot of letters...anyway, I did something rather similar in college with my BF at the time...every day off that we had from class, we spent it together. It was fun and wonderful, but then one day when we broke up, I didn't have any friends left, since I'd sort of isolated myself from the ones I did have before I met my BF. I'm not saying that you and your guy will break up, but what if you did? You'd be all alone. It might not be such a bad idea to make a few friends. Not just as an insurance policy against loneliness, but because it's nice to get lots of people's perspectives sometimes. Also, I was wondering if you ever miss talking to other girls about girl stuff that your BF may not be interested. Like, who do you go shopping with? If you and your BF have a fight, who do you call to talk about it with? I mean, that's why I need my girlfriends and my mom, and other influences outside the relationship. On the other side of things, who does your BF do "guy stuff" with? Even if you're just an awesome girlfriend, I doubt you can be interested in every single thing he's into. Maybe a good compromise would be for you two to meet some "couple friends"- you know, another couple on campus, and you guys could all double-date together. That way, you're still hanging with your BF, but you're both also making friends simultaneously. Besides, double dates are lots of fun!

Answer 2

Your in love, so you are so involved with him, you are losing your own identity. I would suggest you go out 1 day a week with someone else or even by yourself. I am kind of the same way. I spend a lot of time alone now because I raised 2 kids alone and never had the opportunity or the money to socialize or go out. Now they are grown and I have not formed any close friendships and I have been soley with the guy I have dated for 5 yrs.....and dont think he doesnt take me for granted. He is my best friend and my worst enemy all at the same time. It all comes out in the end how its going to be. Dont let your boyfriend take you for granted. Always have other hobbies, committments and friends. It works best that way.

Answer 3

Apparently, you just like to stick with the things that you are comfortable with. You should try be more open and try new things. Try to make your neighbors your friends. You can try to ask some girls to go out and to have a fun girls night out or maybe go out to each lunch.