My husband I have been married for a little over a year. He has always been a spiritual man. But since we got married and moved into our house it has become quite extreme. He believes that god is speaking to him and he writes everything down. He will sit for hours after hours and write on note cards. He fills the entire front & back with his "teachings". He seems very obsessed. He also has these "habits" like cutting his hair. He has this elaborate process that takes him 4 hours to shave his body and cut his hair. I have to leave the house when he does this. He also is very metro and is boarderline gay. We went to a gay dance club on our anniversary and he ended up taking off his shirt and dancing around the main floor while I was on the stage dancing. I also overheard him ask someone when he knew he was gay. On top of that we have sex MAYBE once every 2 weeks. I mean c'mon I'm supposed to be his hot young wife! When we do have sex he wants me to iniciate it and take control of him!???
2007-08-28 05:09:01 · 14 answers · asked by sunnyblonde 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds like he needs professional help on many levels however, if he is gay he will always be gay and no amount of "counseling" is going to change that.
2007-08-28 05:16:48 · answer #1 · answered by ~NIKKI~ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure exactly what you are asking, so I don't think I really have an answer other than agreeing with you that your husband sounds like a strange dude. How long did you date before the marriage? I'm wondering if he has changed alot in a year, or if you are just beginning to see the real side of him? Why does he make you leave when he cuts his hair, and why does it take so long? I don't think him taking off his shirt in a gay club classifies him as gay, after all you were up on stage strutting your stuff so I don't see much difference there. Bottom line is you are unhappy, you married someone who you thought was a different person than he really is. Your next move would be to decide if you want to continue the relationship or get a divorce. Good luck to you.
2007-08-28 12:29:16 · answer #2 · answered by CINDY J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a way too multi-layered question.
In the question of mental health--You need to get him to a psych evaluation very quickly, god might be speaking to him but I am more of the opinion that he is having delusions due to schizophrenia.
As to his sexuality, he might be bi and if he wants you to initiate and take control he is probably submissive. But any advice I would give on that would be meaningless here. His mental health issues MUST be addressed before anything else.
Don't wait, don't take no for an answer and if he says no, enlist the rest of the family and force him!
2007-08-28 12:26:50 · answer #3 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Schizophrenics behave like that or maybe God is talking to him, either way, if your not happy with the marriage the first thing is communication. After that, seek a therapist to see if this behavior is merited or insanity. Be careful. If the voices start to tell him bad and ugly things it could be dangerous. The rest, dancing and gay...well that's not crazy, that's just who he may be.
2007-08-28 12:18:22 · answer #4 · answered by Cheri >^.^< 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have 3 options.
1. Make two appointments - marriage couselling for the both of you, and therapy for him.
2. Divorce him.
3. Get used to the idea of being a beard.
2007-08-28 12:17:20 · answer #5 · answered by HooliganGrrl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's possible that he just has a strong feminine side. You might want to talk to him about these things but for the most part if he's a good guy and the two of you are happily married, that's all that matters.
2007-08-28 12:14:25 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should get some marital counseling. He sounds in the closet and may need some meds for the OCD.
2007-08-28 12:13:48 · answer #7 · answered by ○•○•Cassie•○•○ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see three out of the four (I don't get the genius part).
But yep, you need out of this relationship honey.
It is not (I repeat not) going to get better.
It's just going to get that much weirder.
( I hope you're not super hot and the rest of us are missing out on you pleasuring us)
2007-08-28 12:17:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he is the closet, and he needs some help. He need to see someone soon.
2007-08-28 12:18:32 · answer #9 · answered by Dan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he maybe bi curios, i would really chit chat with him. what straight guy goes to a gay club, and the takes his shirt off. that nuts 2 me!
2007-08-28 12:18:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋