Is my son spoiled?

Question

My son cries, if i'm not holding him, he will cry until I pick him up, its hard to do any house work or cook. when i leave he gets upset . I love him so much, he's only six months. so I don't think you can spoil a baby. what do you think? my husband tells me too let him cry and don't cater to every little thing. But thats too me is awful, this is his way of saying something wrong.

Answer 1

I don't think he's spoiled.

I do believe that some babies have higher needs than others, making them seem spoiled to many. But he might just be sensitive, frightful, insecure, or anyother thing might be going on.

It's nothing you've done or need to do. It can very well just be his personality. And it is his way of saying something is wrong. A baby who is left unattended to cry for long periods may seem to learn how to "self soothe," but this is misleading because what he/she is actually learning is that he/she cannot trust the caregiver. They essentially give up asking for help, instead of learing to be secure and independant.

I love Dr. Sears... he has some info on high needs babies here: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T050400.asp

Answer 2

You don't have to let him cry it out and he won't be doing it when he's 5. That's just silly. He cries because at this young age he has separation anxiety. He hasn't understood that when mommy goes away that mommy will come back so he cries. That's all it is. What you can do to help him is either put him in a swing or wear him in a soft carrier. With teh swing he'll cry when you first put him in and you can start it up and when he's all happy and having fun then you slowly back off and eventually you can get some work done while he's totally engrossed in his own amusement. If he's really anxioous even after that or you don't feel like he needs to be baby sat by a mechanical device that long the soft carrier is the way to go. Snugly makes a comfy one IMHO. You can strap the child to you and still be able to do laundry, wash dishes, vaccum and do all the stuff you need to get done without neglecting your child or trying to force him to be a little grown up for the sake of convienence. You won't spoil your child. You are teaching him that his mommy is there for his needs and when he gets a bit older and reaches the age to where he understands object permanence then he won't cry every time you leave his sight.

Answer 3

Your son is not spoiled, you cannot spoil an infant. He is attached and has emotional needs. Try getting a sling, makes housework a lot easier.

http://www.thebabywearer.com

My son is 9 months old and still spends a good portion of the day in the sling or in my arms. He is still a baby, still new to this world. Don't make him cry, that will only make him insecure. You are spoiling him by holding him!

Answer 4

I think you are right. even if there is not anything wrong your baby is telling you it needs you. My belief is if you spoil him you spoil. although it can make it hard to get anything done. I am going through the same thing with my six month old daughter. All she wants is mom. It makes me feel special and they grow up so fast. There will come a day they will not need us as much, so I intend to enjoy the love I receive from her as much as I can. Housework can wait. All the best to you and from one mom to another, I think you are doing great.

Answer 5

You can't spoil a baby that young. But, it won't hurt your son to cry for a few minutes when you are cooking dinner, etc. If you know that all of his needs have been taken care of and he just wants you to hold him, then it is ok to let him cry sometimes. Not all the time, because he is a baby and he needs to be held and cuddled and to know he is loved. But sometimes a mom has to throw a load of laundry in or go to the bathroom. If put him in a playpen in the room you are cleaning with a couple of toys, he will probably learn to entertain himself. Just make sure that you talk to him a lot and let him know that even though you are doing something else at the moment, you are still there with him.

Answer 6

i don't think your spoiling him. i had the same problem trying to get the housework done for the first year or so. if he cry's for you pick him up, he is only a baby once and housework never ends. when your son is older your house will be clean again. you are doing the right thing picking him up.

Answer 7

He's just a cute cuddly 6 month old.Heck no your not spoiling him.Infants need there mothers touch, all the time.Keep doing what your doing, unlike the person above me, when hes 5 he will have no recollection of being held all the time as an infant.

Answer 8

1) Try to allow him to "whine" or "fuss", but if it progresses to full-blown crying, then pick him up. For instance, first thing in the morning in his crib, if he wakes up and as making noises, allow him to entertain himself for 5-10 minutes before going to him.

2)Try finding new things to entertain him, that doesn't require you holding him. My daughter loves this toy she can kick that makes sounds and music. She also loves laying on a blanket on the lawn, becuase the sights and smells are different.

3) I have a boppy chair for my daughter, and I can put it on the counter top (and buckle her in) so that she SEES me when I am cooking and doing dishes, but i dont have to hold her. I make faces or talk while I'm working, but i dont hold her.

Lastly, remember that for babies, this time period is when their frustration is at an all time high-- they are alert and excited to view the world, but they aren't mobile. Its possible he's simiply bored and wants to see more but is literally helpless to do so.

Answer 9

Do what you feel like doing. I never let my son cry simply because it drove me crazy and he is 13 months old now and he isnt a crybaby at all. If he wants attention I stop what I'm doing and let him have all that he wants and I have done that since the day he was born. I dont feel like I spoiled him that was just how I took care of him. All parents are different.

Answer 10

I am in the same boat except my daughter is 7 weeks old. I have to clean the house with her in the snugli, unless someone else is here to hold her. We almost lost her a week and a half ago, so I say let her be spoiled.

I say he is probably spoiled, but so what. He is just a baby and it won't be long until he is 2 or 3 and independent. Love and cuddle him now.