Heres how it happened. I met my wife-who has 2 kids from previous abusive-type relationships. Everything was great. We moved in together-got married. Slowly but surely her real personality came out. I got called ugly, disgusting, she no longer initiated sex. Even our wedding night-she sat with a calculator counting the money. How romantic. I'm 25, shes 26.
She used to apologize, now, she could care less. She is always depressed and never wants sex. If we have sex-I have to promise her a backrub or something-and its obvoious she's not into it. The verbal abuse gets physical sometimes. I am fed up-my patients for ''the girl who got a raw deal by assholes''is gone, and I see her true colors. I've pulled away from the kids and her. We pretty much sleep seperate. Its still our first year of marriage. I have tried everything. Counseling, patients, romance, housework, more time with the kids. Nothing helps. Also-she was spoiled by her Mom her whole life, still is.
2007-08-28 04:03:34 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Also-When things get rough, she goes to her moms house-especially when they aren't home, she will practically live there. I make more than her-buts it not enough. I even got a second job I'm starting. She is a beatiful, sexy woman. But thats about it. Was she faking being nice when I met her? What the hell?
2007-08-28 04:06:56 · update #1
I just answered this question. She has a personality disorder.....you are being abused. You are a victim of abuse. It isn't any different than men who abuse women....just reversed. Read about BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER....you will find all the answers you are looking for there. Trust me, I know what I am talking about.
2007-08-28 04:08:54 · answer #1 · answered by Rein 5 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all you didn't stop to think it through. Guilt is evil. So you cheated you told him now he wants details. Strange thought did you think he has cheated too? If he's worried you made it "off" then there is a deep concern there in my eyes. Not that this is right however. Your not a terrible person you made a choice now you have to deal with it by moving forward. Forgive yourself and take the next step for you not the marriage, not the kids, not for any other reason. What makes you happy? Did you forget your a live and need to feel loved, desired and wanted for the right reasons. Your marriage was already over you said so why stay? Only you have the answers. Move out and live separately for a while Don't make it worse on yourself until you take time to heal and figure out you. Be fair to both of you. Not sure he will let it go or never bring it up. You have a lot to think about it's not going to be an easy road. Life is what we make of it and have to learn from mistakes. It's a big lesson to let go and move forward.
2016-05-20 00:21:17 · answer #2 · answered by kaley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
apparently, you didn't take the time to get to know this person BEFORE marrying her... it takes a good 1-1/2 - 2 years to "see" someone for who they are.
many times, people put on a good act. i have had boyfriends who were good actors for over a year! it amazes me that people can't just be themselves, and stop the bullcrap.
some people are greedy, spoiled and self-centered. in your relationship i see it's all about HER... and perhaps she got married for security's sake, not because she was in love and wanted to build a life together.
step back and take a look at the person you are involved with before taking a leap or making a committment to get married.... make plans, discuss your future, goals and find out if you have similar ambitions....
if i were in your position, i'd do what was best for me, which would involve dissolving the marriage.
do you really want to live this way? i doubt it.
2007-08-28 04:23:52 · answer #3 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sad to say, but you're never going to make her happy.
She's manipulating you and using her past situations as an excuse. You're being verbally and physically abused, not to mention emotionally as well!
I'm telling you the same thing I'd tell a woman in your situation... get out now. You've tried all you can to work on this and she's not going to change.
Good luck.
2007-08-28 05:10:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing worse than staying in this non-relationship for one year is staying in it for one year and one day. You have learned a lesson. Inward beauty comes from unselfishness.
Learn what true love is.
1 Corinthians 13.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. GOD
EDIT: Part of the problem is your addiction to porn and your unhealthy way of understanding sex. Seek profestional help this might help your marriage. I know that it will help you.
2007-08-28 04:26:29 · answer #5 · answered by 4HIM- Christians love 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok, i'm going to agree with txgasman64 here and say that she's only about the money. As a woman who has gotten a raw deal in the past, I'll have to say, I may have used that card in the beginning, but as time went on, I learned to trust the man I loved, and went from there!
2007-08-28 04:49:59 · answer #6 · answered by Linda S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the generalized view of "abusive" relationships, we often forget that there are two sides to the story. I would not be at all surprised if SHE is the abuser and her ex simply got pushed to the point where he lost it. It is often so easy to forget that "abuse" is sometimes fighting back!
If she is this way now, it will only get worse over time. Cut your losses and get out while you still have your self-esteem.
2007-08-28 04:10:22 · answer #7 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it but it does sound like you may have been played.
Your wife, by your description, does sound like a selfish, spoilt brat. It sounds like she wants the world to revolve around her and that it's her way or no way.
If you've tried counselling and all those other things I'd be thinking of cutting my loses. Get a good lawyer. If she's everything you say she is she'll be after whatever she can get from you.
Good luck.
2007-08-28 04:16:19 · answer #8 · answered by Choqs 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you have tried everything, it is time to leave. the sooner the better. Financially it would be in your best interest to leave now, and I think emotionally as well.
You made a mistake, you thought you knew someone, but it turns out you didn't.
She has played the victim. I could imagine what she is saying to others about you right now.
You will be much happier without all of this drama in your life.
2007-08-28 04:12:05 · answer #9 · answered by candy'sroom 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
wow sounds like my wife however i have the kid she does not...so u and i are in the same situation. ask her if she would mind if u moved out, and left the kids u promised to love and raise. tell her u do not want to, however you feel she does not love you anymore...if this doesnt work ask for marriage counseling. i feel your pain as i am living through it as well except we are separated now so i am bout 3 months ahead of you...if u truly love this woman it will not get better, prepare for that...
2007-08-28 04:08:48 · answer #10 · answered by amayseng 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she has some type of head problems. I would advise you to get the hell out of there. If it is already like this in the first year, imagine 5 years from now, Hell on Earth!!
2007-08-28 04:09:28 · answer #11 · answered by Stuck in the middle of nowhere 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋