This not a question I like to just "put out there"...
Sex, why am I always the one to initiate? Yes, I have asked and tried talking with her, but I get no response. Is there anything that I can Do to maybe spice up our bedroom talk? Please, any input would be helpful.
2007-08-28 03:37:32 · 13 answers · asked by tata51576 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We have been married for just over 5 yrs. now. I'm not happy to say this, I have gone as long as 3 mths. w/o it. I do the dishes, take out the trash, sweep, and clean-up after the kids.
2007-08-29 02:50:49 · update #1
a lot of girls are taught not to be the initiator - that men are supposed to initiate sex and girls/women who do are sluts
it's a hard thing to overcome, even for some longtime married folks
it took a long time for me to feel comfortable initiating sex, and I still don't do it as frequently as my husband would like - sigh - guess I need more practice
2007-08-28 03:44:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are probably the one to initiate because you want it more often than she does. As an experiment, try going a week or 10 days without sex (no, it WON'T kill you) and see if her attitude changes.
During that time, you might try lots of little random acts of kindness, like rubbing her feet, bringing her a drink when you get your own, sweeping the kitchen floor without being asked...
If she still does not initiate, there might be a problem she has repressed.
2007-08-28 10:58:42 · answer #2 · answered by not yet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never met a man who liked his woman to initiate. The more I'd try to show interest the less they wanted to have sex with me. Quite frankly my ego can't take the beating. So now I'm a 3 strikes your out kinda girl....I give my men 3 tries, I'll initiate sex, but after 3 tries of being turned down I'll never try again! And eventually become disinterested in having sex with them all together.
Don't get me wrong I'm all about the submission thing...I like being the bottom. But every once in a while its nice to take charge and enjoy the ride. Why won't they let me!!!!!
2007-08-28 10:51:48 · answer #3 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing you need to understand is when women are stressed and exhausted, sex it the first thing we give up. For men it is the last. It can always help to take a load off of her by cleaning the house, cooking and taking care of the kids. The little things help out in the bedroom. Really care about making her life easier. I hope this helps you out. GOOD LUCK
2007-08-28 10:48:12 · answer #4 · answered by D TRAIN 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately lots of things may effect a woman's appetite. Working long hours then come home and taking care of children and house chores at the same time can create great deal of stress. So you can start with helping some of house chores or children so she can save up some time to relax and enjoy her life.
Or you and her start to do some sports. Sports can help you to deal with stress and refreshes both of you.
Or you can try to talk to her again and ask for her help to understand her. And try to stay calm whatever you hear from her.
2007-08-28 10:50:39 · answer #5 · answered by Ardelia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think Pam is probably right. If she's *having* sex with you, just not *initiating* it, chances are it goes back to the way she was raised. I was like that for many years. We women are usually taught, either by words or example, that we are only there for our husband's pleasure, not our own, and to come on to a man (even our husband!) is being slutty. My advice is to give her time, give her lots of praise on the way she pleases you, so that she is totally comfortable with her sexuality. She probably just needs time to break out of her shell. Now, you can't fight me off with a ten foot pole, lol!!! :-) Good luck!
2007-08-28 11:19:24 · answer #6 · answered by meagain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she is tired from work and the kids. If that isn't the case maybe it is because you always initiate it first, try not doing that for a few days and see what happens.
2007-08-28 10:43:34 · answer #7 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How often are you initiating? Do you ever give her the chance to come to you? Back off for a while and see if she makes a move.
2007-08-28 11:07:19 · answer #8 · answered by redessa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some women just do not have the confidence to initiate sex. plain and simple. keep talking to her and building her confidence and eventually possibly she will initiate. if not try to remember the other reasons you like/love her and put this issue in the small catagory.
2007-08-28 10:57:31 · answer #9 · answered by Elvira 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure I'm the one to initiate in my relationship.
2007-08-28 10:42:07 · answer #10 · answered by Valentina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋