I was unhappily married for a long time. I loved him but we were so different, we divorced. I met a man who I 'm falling for. He's great. he's funny, handsome, smart. We get along great and enjoy each other's company. I wonder though, if all relationships are like that in the beginning? are there any red flags I should watch out for? I know I'm dwelling on this too much but I can't help it. I'm so happy, I feel it's not going to last... sigh
2007-08-28 03:04:47 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Relationships change with time. You have to figure out if you love someone enough to stay through all the changes that come and go. If you love them enough to stay through the ups and downs. If you are not sure I wouldn't be getting married to them...
2007-08-28 03:12:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you were so unhappily married you are just doubting your own judgement. It sounds like you have met a nice guy, let the relationship develop some before jumping into anything really serious, like marriage. Things will change some but if you both work at it, you can keep the relationship as fresh and new as things were in the beginning. I think thats what a lot of people just doesn't understand, relationships take two people that are both willing too work hard at keeping their love going strong.
Stop all the negetive thoughts of thinking it's not going too last! If you keep thinking that then chances are It won't .Just be happy and start thinking positive, and put your bad marriage behind you.
Good luck too you. I hope you find someone that makes you as happy as my husband makes me!!
2007-08-28 10:40:29 · answer #2 · answered by Rose T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same situation you are currently in. I married at the age of 21 and we were together for a total of 8 years. I was unhappy in my marriage so I had to take the next step and I got out. I am currently in the process of divorce and I am seeing a man whom I have been friends with for a long time. I am so happy right now. I can't tell you of any red flags because as you know with your first marriage, you might think that person is the person you will spend your life with and you may be happy but you never know what the future holds. The best advise I can give you, from one woman to another, is to follow your heart.
2007-08-28 19:29:07 · answer #3 · answered by Nutmuffin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, all relationships start out happy head in the clouds type of thing.
First look for the obvious: alcohol abuse, drug abuse, gambling, a player/cheater, too much sex, too little sex, can't hold a job, works too much, bankruptcy in his past, is a slob, is an anal neat freak, is a control freak, is too lax on everything, talks to much, or reveals too little, etc.
Then examine what you both want out of life. Where you want to live, what your goals are, children or not, etc.
Lastly, don't forget values and morals. If you are different religions, different political leans, then examine the differences under a microscope. These things lead to basic philosophies on life, and if you want to get serious with this guy, you need to discard the rose colored glasses and anticipate the differences you will experience.
And really pay attention to what transpires between him and his family. You'll see things revealed there that you'll find nowhere else in his life.
2007-08-28 10:15:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, please get a positive outlook on life. Not all the men or marriages are the same. Don't take your past and bring it into this relationship. None of know what to expect as time goes by, just live your life and take a chance. You could just be with the best guy ever. Not every relationship will last, but if you don't take a chance, you will never know. I know this is easier said than done, but if you bring in the negative, all you will get in return is the negative. GOOD LUCK!!
2007-08-28 10:23:16 · answer #5 · answered by D TRAIN 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The new perfect relationship is great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You don't know each other well enough to see and know each others issues. We all have them. If you want to have the effortless relationship, this is the way to go. I did this for many years, stay for 1 - 3 years with some one and move on. Over time I missed the closeness of being really with someone and I married. The man I married is wonderful, kind and I love him with all of my heart. It is work though. We have to make time for each other to fall in love over and over again. This is the trick. If I am with someone who I like, respect and think is very sexy, this works for me.
2007-08-28 10:13:27 · answer #6 · answered by Rein 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People change over time. So what you like right now may not last, and things like he is handsome WONT last. Red flags are when looks are in your top reasons as to why you're falling for them. What you want is personality, humor and someone you can really get comfortable talking with. A good marriage are based on things that get better with time. (Like conversation)
2007-08-28 10:17:57 · answer #7 · answered by Beatngu 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My relationship is good. I'm happy to be with him. The rest of my life? Eh, I wish I was never born.
As for your question about your relationship question, a lot of relationships are like that in the beginning. Just take things slow and remember never rely on your gut. Think things through, let your mind guide your heart.
2007-08-28 10:14:14 · answer #8 · answered by skunk pie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately bad relationships tend to make you think all relationships are going to end bad. Most are great in the beginning, but you should give this new guy the benefit of the doubt.
2007-08-28 10:24:23 · answer #9 · answered by comeundone4162 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a lot of relationships are like that in the beginning... dont think about the negative things that can happen in your relationship
because then you will always have doubts and you will never be happy.
Take things slow.. play it by ear
everything will be fine = )
good luck hun
2007-08-28 10:22:04 · answer #10 · answered by ♥Sabre♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋