I have been with this guy off and on for three years... we've dated, broke up, dated broke up, etc. mostly because of his mood swings. He was diagnosed with bipolar disorder as a child, and experiences mood swings occasionally. Usually he's happy, cheerful, funny, wierd, and goofy, but he gets in moods where he's depressed and isolates everyone from himself, only to snap out of it later and apologize.
I've tried bringing this to his attention but he barely acknowledges it, mostly out of shame perhaps.
What I ask is this; I love him more than anyone and want to be there for him, but how do I deal with times when he gets so depressed and sad and pushes everyone away?
2007-08-28 02:38:20 · 11 answers · asked by orangeflavoredfairy 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
If the man is on medications and counselling then stand by him. If he isn't then leave him till searches out help, and actively engages with it.
Until then ...well the only time you ever listen to what a man says is when he says " leave me alone ", and that is the only time a woman should listen to the words of a man.
2007-08-28 02:48:24 · answer #1 · answered by the old dog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if you want to be with him then you have to deal with the times of iscolation. Dont ignore him but give him space when he does that. He will apologize and it will be fine. I would also suggest get some medicine for him unless it makes him like a zombie all the time. medicine reacts different in everyone so a try a few out before giving up. I would say stay with him if he is cheerful for 3+ months then down for less than a month. Any less cheerful or more depressed could really make you emotionally confused and stress and i really dont think that would be worth it. You didnt give your age but i am guessing your around 19-20. Try to stick it out the best you can and hopefully medicine will help with his downs if not dont stress and scar yourself emotionally over that your 20 live life to your fullest focus on school to get over him if it get to that point and find a new love you choices are endless here. it's up to you to make the best choice.
2007-08-28 09:52:07 · answer #2 · answered by Michael 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder when I was 14, I'm now 19 and it's still overwhelming at times. I'm engaged and have a baby and I still get overly depressed and isolate myself from everyone. Even though I couldn't have a better life, my advice to you? Give him his space, what he needs is for you to be understanding, he can't always control his mood swings, it's not entirely his fault. He just needs to know that you'll be there for him when he's ready to open up.
2007-08-28 10:58:08 · answer #3 · answered by ohhemgeeitsRACHEL 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a girl friend like this. Not like "lover" type but a very good friend of mine. There is nothing you can possibly do except to support them. I know you already understand this is an illness and there is nothing you can really do about a illness especially something dealing with the mind.
Just know that there is nothing they can really do about it. When they come around enjoy them and when they get in the wrong moods. Keep away...
It has always worked for me. I understand it may be difficult because you are "in-love" and mine is the basic type of love. Althought unconditional it is not the same. There is nothing more you can really do.
Good Luck : )
2007-08-28 09:46:03 · answer #4 · answered by ScorpGal 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People that have bipolar disorder tend to stop taking their medicines as soon as they start "feeling better". As long as he is on his medication he is probably fine. It is when he stops taking the medicine or is not taking the medicine like he is supposed to that is when he is in the most danger of getting into a depression. Talk to him and make sure that he is taking the meds like he is supposed to. If he doesn't think he needs them then I would suggest pulling away and seeking a more stable relationship. People with bipolar disorder can lead a "normal" life if they choose to.
2007-08-28 09:54:26 · answer #5 · answered by saved_by_grace 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is difficult to love someone who changes rapidly... I have been here before myself and I had to walk away for my own good. it still kills me a little but i am happy and with someone who does not have these mood swings anymore.
1. when he gets sad you must see it before he pushes you away... and help him not think too dark by telling him why you love him. make him smile... be wierd and goofy and remind him who he is.
2. do not push him too hard. if making him smile does not work learn to step back before he pushes you away
3. let him know exactly how he makes you feel when he get the way he does... my ex insisted he did not like scaring me and that he wanted me to feel safe with him more than anything. the one thing tha i used to do was pet him underneath his eyes and that would sooth him and bring him back to me.
Bi polar is a very had thing to counter act for a person... when they go into the depresstion they are ashamed of themselves and you can not convince them otherwise.... they turn into little boys again. my methods worked only for a moment...
and I had to help myself get out of the depresstion i found myself in by pulling him out.
the only other result is talk to his family... he may hate you for it, but you need to know if they see it too...
some bipolars NEED to be medicated to be human and self medication like illegal drugs or boose will only throw them deeper.
becareful... it is hard to love a person that only loves themselves half of the time. if nothing works you need to help yourself and walk away... its awful to think about but it is true.
Good luck and be safe!
2007-08-28 10:15:06 · answer #6 · answered by TwistedJess 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is your understanding of "mood swings"? Does he not know why he is edgy or if he does what is he doing about it...perhaps it envolves the relationship that you and he are in or something entirely outside the relationship? Have you ever asked him why he is grumpy and does the answer make sense?
2007-08-28 10:15:36 · answer #7 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He will always be this way.. and you have to decide if you are willing to make his problems your own... if you are willing.. then you just have to remember it's not personal and just don't let it get to you.. train yourself to think like that... if you can do that.. it will be better for both of you.
2007-08-28 10:51:03 · answer #8 · answered by pip 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Lilly. One question: is he taking med's? Bi-polar is like a forever rollercoaster. Best to you. ;-(=
2007-08-28 09:47:52 · answer #9 · answered by Jcontrols 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh boy.
You should get therapy for yourself on how to cope.
2007-08-28 09:45:42 · answer #10 · answered by Lilly 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋