Husband lost interest??

Question

My husband does not seem to want to have sex with me anymore. We have been together 10 years now and have always had a great relationship in and out of bed. We had a child a year and a half ago and another one on the way in a couple of months. I can't figure him out...He seems to avoid me lately. He will go to his Den and watch T.V. from the time he comes home from work until bedtime which is usually well after I have gone to bed (around 1 am) I wonder if he does this on purpose. Anyway we have had sex once a month if I'm lucky and this only happens if I initiate it. We used to have sex 2 to 3 times a week. I asked him about it last night and he told me That the problem is I am too antiliticall about it (which Iam not this is the first time I've said anything, then he told me all I have to do is come and get it. I told him that it would be nice ig he'd come and get it now and then . Then he replied that Maybe it's an age thing...He's 42. He then rolled over and went to sleep. UUGGHHH

Answer 1

I am 43 and I'm always the one who asks for it. Its actually my wife who cant keep up with me. Anyway, maybe its just a period in time when he "seems" not interested and just hope that it will pass. One more thing is that you said you are on the way? Maybe he is just trying to be careful not to "harm" the baby in some way.
Try to set a nice, romantic dinner, set the mood and send some signals that you want it, and if still doesnt work, try to talk it out but not in a confrontational way, just be careful that it remains a ligth conversation pointing out your desires and also try to listen to him, too.

Answer 2

Well he still loves you. Being pregnant can put a damper on things. It's not that he does not find you attractive, or he's sleeping with someone else. I would be concerned but understanding at the same time. He's going through a mid life crisis. You already have one kid, now another one is coming along. He's probably thinking if he can be a good father to both, can he financially afford to take care of them, knowing he has to work hard for his kids, so they can have the things that he did not have when he was a child etc.. I would just have a talk with him, ask him what he's feeling and how he is doing etc. Don't do this in bed because its not the time or the place to do that. I would make a dinner for him or a lunch and have your talk during that time etc.. He might have some trouble with getting a erection? What ever it is that is bothering him just listen. This will bring you closer together and make your marriage stronger. Last but not least, just listen and show concern and concern for his feelings. Good Luck to your family.

Answer 3

He certainly sounds stressed over something, but that doesn't mean that he has lost interest in you. He might be snapping at you all the time because simply you are the one who is there. Is his job going okay? Have you got any money troubles, maybe that you might be unaware of? Is he suffering from some sort of stress from outside the home that he is bringing into the home? If he won't talk to you about it, it might be that he doesn't know where to start, he doesn't want to bother you about it or he (mistakenly) thinks you wouldn't understand or be able to help. However, communication is the key to a healthy relationship and he does need to talk about it to you. As a married couple you are a team. However, it's a tricky thing to do without ADDING to his troubles by making him feel that you are somehow accusing him of neglecting you. I have often had to listen to my husband have a go at me as if I was his boss, or his colleague or whoever it is who pissed him off today. I smile, I listen, I sympathise and then I gently point out that I am not the person who wound him up and that I am on his side. And of course, that I love him. It doesn't sound like he is having an affair to me - it does sound like he is stressed and under pressure from something. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to get to the bottom of it. Good luck and my sympathies.

Answer 4

seems like he has a communication issue with you for some reason, has he been honest to you lately, i hope he is not getting sex elsewhere, or may be he is just stressed from work and family and now that you are having a new baby, i think it best if you just talk to him and ask him for some real reasons and answers, may be some professional help might help too... having a baby is a stressful situation for most families, also if it is really a age thing and he is loosing interest because of some problems realated to his health then ofcourse there are solutions for them.. maybe he is not getting aroused anymore, i think in all matters of family and relationship communcation is the most important factor..
i am sorry i am not a expert on reationships but i can understand your feeling as i have been thru similar problems in my past..
good luck

Answer 5

Too much of the same thing the same way gets uninteresting and boring and i think this might be the problem. Men find new and exciting things a turn on. A suggestion would be to lure him with a sexy negligee or a sex toy that you are comfortable with. Make sex a little more interesting with body chocolate or cream ect.... Try to spice up your sex life with interesting and diffrent ideas but make sure you are comfortable with the things you do otherwise it will only be him that will be enjoying it. If that doesnt work he has either really lost interest in sex or he could be having an affair. Best of luck

Answer 6

Its not an age thing thats just an excuse he spent 10 years giving it out and then you had a baby and you have another on the way , for some reason once the kid's come they dont feel they have to make the effort anymore and if you want it you do the hunting.

Kick him out of your bed and tell him come get it when he feel's he can be the man again.

Answer 7

All I can say is a quote from Barbara DeAngelis:

The real secret of an incredible relationship has absolutely nothing to do with the other person. It has to do with you. You can only love as much as your heart is capable of loving. Not just that person but anything. There's only one door to the heart. You can't keep it closed to all kinds of people and all kinds of things and all kinds of situations but think well the right person, then I'll open it for him. It doesn't work that way. It's one door. So your ability to love period is the basis for a great relationship. How much am I capable of loving. How passionate am I about life.

How much am I capable of loving the sunrise, this day, my dog, myself. If you are conditionally loving things. I love this a little bit, I love... I'm not talking about preferences but when there's something you really care about, if you don't know how to give yourself to it a hundred percent, when the right person comes along you won't know how to love him or her. If you think the other person's going to do things to make you love them, that's a misunderstanding. Your love has a life of it's own. And your ability to love has nothing to do with if the person is pleasing you or not. It has to do with how much your heart is ready to just jump into the fire.

Answer 8

ive only been married for 3 years but i hope my opinion will still be valued. it could be one that he has lost intrest because of someone else or it could be that he has lost intrest in it all together and is frustrated himself about it. i know its hard and it makes you feel un desirable but try this... you asked him and he gave you his answer so dont ask him for any and dont appear t be upset about it,and see if he then comes to you about what is going on. i know thas not the easy way but give it a try for a while and see if it gives you results. if it doesnt then since it means alot to you then i would approach him about it again. tell him it makes you worry not just about yourself but him as well as your marriage. i know that some guys lose intrest in sex all together and get pressured about it so maybe he is dealing with it by not dealing with it....if that makes sense. anyway hun i hope you get this resolved and dont worry about what it could be because it will drive you crazy. just maybe look at this as a stage your going thru, and hopefully it will pass.

Answer 9

Been there, before. One thing is that another child is on the way. So there probably is another reason for the loss of interest. Find out what it is that has him so preoccupied (financial problems?) and try to fix that or talk about it.

Answer 10

It very could well be hormonal at his age. The testosterone just starts declining - doesn't mean he loves you less. Don't nag him. Go with him to a urologist - he should have a checkup.