MOMS! - how do you juggle work, being a mom of 2, a wife, a part-time job and driving three hours a day?

Question

Doesn't something suffer? I know it does in my life. It is my relationship with my husband.

Answer 1

This may not be a popular answer, but you're going to have to look at your priorities. You need to put your Marriage first. One of the reasons they fall apart so often is that many married people take the marriage for granted. These are the ones who wake up one day and don't know why their spouse is cheating or has left them.

Unfortunately, I can't give you much specific advice on how to make the marriage work, because it is different for every couple. A couple things are:

1. Know your husband and what he needs from the relationship, and make sure that most of the time, he's getting it.

2. Always MAKE time to go out with your husband, just the two of you, and do things together that promote closeness and love between the two of you. Always make sure to have fun together.

3. Do not let sex fall by the wayside. Don't make excuses or get tied up in "it's got to be spontaneous". Sex is one of the most important things in a marriage - it's what separates marriage from friendship. Make time for it.

4. Don't allow yourself to get so "Comfortable" in the relationship that you stop putting effort into your behavior. In other words, unless it is something that brings you together (and funny as this is, for some people, it does), don't allow yourself to get lazy about your makeup, perfume, dress-code, manners, physical fitness, and treatment of your husband. This is not to say you shouldn't relax at all, but if you "let yourself go", much of what your husband fell in love with will disappear, and so might he.

5. Make sure to spend time apart, and spend that time growing as a person, and experiencing new things. This will help you have something to share with your husband when you talk. Time away from them also allows you to fight the natural process of taking him for granted (and vice versa)

6. If the marriage needs it, adjust what you do to ensure the marriage is getting what it needs.

If your marriage is suffering, your children will suffer, your work will suffer, and you might start looking for some man to make life new again. It takes less effort to slowly feed a marriage and keep it healthy than it does to try and nurse one back to health.

Good luck, and God Bless

Answer 2

I work full time, a mother of 2 (4&2 year old), do the housework, cook, run errands and most important a wife to my husband. There are times my kids come first, like when they are sick. But I have learned that the things that must be cut are busy days get a quick meal, or I may loose an hour of sleep. I try and do most things on the weekend to organize my following week. Sounds like in order to do everything on your plate, all you may need is to let one thing slide, and not your husband, or maybe more organization. Hope this helps!

Answer 3

I'm kind of in the same situation. I drive about 2.5 hours a day, work full time, mom of 1 with husband usually working out of town or crazy hours (police officer/game warden). It's easy. You do what you can when you can, and let the rest slide (it's that last part that's the hardest). Realize that those 15 minutes you have with your spouse in front of the TV at night (we rarely get that) is what you're going to get. I see my husband about 5 hours a week when he's out of town. Make the most of it. Cherish the time you do have. Since the beginning of this year, my husband has only been home on his weekends (usually weekdays when I'm working) or working nights in our area of the state, so I'm usually at work, driving, or playing single-mom. Our daughter goes to a babysitter in the town where I work on my husband's work days, so she's close by me if she needs a doctor's appointment or gets sick during the day. You push yourself and realize your 8 hours of sleep will never happen again until the kids are grown (I'm lucky to get 6, usually 4 or 5). And smile at your crazy life, thanking God you have the energy to do what life demands.

Answer 4

So sorry for that and your correct its not just your hubby its you as well because husband and wife should be one.
I would tyake a look at all aspects to see if theres not something you could cut out. If your driving 3 hours and paying a babysitter for a part time job,i doubt you make more than you spend in day to day getting there and working for 4 hrs. We tend to think we need more,i know because i was one of them. Less things with more family life far out weighs and far more rewarding than thinking your making 50 bucks more a week than you were. Your husband and you would be better off. There is few wonderful books by dr laura schilnger that you should just look at and consider both of you reading. good luck and it does get better with less........

Answer 5

You have to choose your priorities in life!

If money and stuff is your priority then you will do what you can to get more!

If your marriage and kids are your priority you will do whatever possible to spend as much time as possible with them.

PRIORITY, what is yours?

As for me, after 10 years of marriage my wife stays home with kids I live 5 minutes from my office and get home at 5:05 every day on weekends we do things as a family. My wife quit working (outside the home) when she became pregnant with our first and does not plan to go back till the kids are out of the house. Finances have been very tight for the past 7 years, we would love to have a newer car and a bigger house and a new big screen HDTV etc..... BUT we live within the budget that allows my wife to stay home with our children.
Our priority is family, what is yours?

Answer 6

Organization is key. You need to make time for yourself - you are priority number 1 - don't ever doubt it. If you don't make time for yourself - even if it's just 10 minutes to relax and unwind, you will not be any good at your other relationships.

Make a list of your daily activities. See areas where you can consolidate. Identify activities that you can delegate to someone else or hire someone to do. Do you really need that pt job? Maybe you need a different job with a better schedule? Organize the kid stuff and start getting them involved in helping - even if it's little stuff. They will love it and feel involved.

What's all this driving? The job? The kids? Find another way - maybe you need to move. Maybe you change jobs or daycare or schools - what ever it is. You can work through this.

Talk with your husband and tell him that you'd like to work on making more time for each other. See if he can help you brain storm on things.

One thing is for sure, your kids will grow and they will become more of a help over time. Yes, sports and after school activities will be time consuming too, but you can get other parents to help with carpooling to games, etc.

Good luck!

Answer 7

I worked through all my pregnancies gave birth to 4 beautiful children and then when I remarried gained 2 beautiful step kids and had my 5th beautiful baby .

I worked from 5 till sometimes 6 at night cleaning houses and apartments / strawberry picking and packing , cleaning offices in wearhouses , all kinds of jobs , then came home cleaned the house , washed the clothes , cooked dinner and helped my kids with homework.My husband did nothing but work and come home and if he did cook once or twice a week wanted a gold star.

Our sex life only suffered because he was too tired? go figure he worked from 6am till 2:30 pm walked in the front door at 3 and parked his rear end on line watchen porn and readin porn stories.

We're seperated now I have 3 of my 5 kids home full time , and his 2 on every 2nd weekend and school holidays , I spend more time with his kids then he does and now I work from home.

You just do what you need to do.

Answer 8

Well.... if this makes it any easier.
I wake up at 5:15am Monday through Friday. I get in the shower, get my 14 year old daughter up as soon as I jump out so she can get in the shower at the same time I get my 12 year old son up so he can get ready (he takes a shower at night) I go and iron my clothes and my youngest daughter (she is 9) clothes go and wake her up. Do my hair and makeup. Get my son to the bus stop at 6:45am come home comb my 9 year olds hair (she also takes a shower at night). Make sure she is dressed and has her shoes on and sitting down to eat breakfast. (Hubby's takes her to school at 8:00am) Make my hubby's lunch. Take off again at 7:05am to take my 14 year old to school and then head to work. I'm already tired by the time I get here at 7:30. I work all day until 5:00pm. Go home make dinner help the kids with homework. We eat dinner. Get the two younger kids in the shower. By this time hubby gets home from work at 8:30pm. Get the kids all to bed, yes all three even the 14 year old. Do dishes. Then at 9:00pm sit down at watch the news with my hunny. We talk about our day and what all went on with the kids for about a good hour and spend our time together. By 10:30 I'm out for the night to start the day all over again.
So I hear you. Working mom's taking care of the household have it hard. But what can we do??

Answer 9

I am a single mom of two school age children. I work full time, tend to my aging folks as I can, raise my children on my own (as thier father will not step in), am building a home with Habitat for Humanity, developing a flourishing relationship with the most wonderful man, grocery shop, laundry, homework......and I MAKE time for myself.........my self care includes time with my boyfriend, time to attend my dance class, time to do my powerwalks. No, it is not easy but as my head hits the pillow at night, I am usually out like a light.

If I may so humbly suggest to you........Place your relationship with your husband at the top of your list. Even in little ways if thats all that can be managed. Make sure he feels so very special to you. Plan date nights, get a sitter. Be a good steward of your relationship with him. It's so very easy to fall into the trap of placing all the responsibilites of life before your marriage.........it tends to die on the vine that way.

Answer 10

I am everything you are except a wife and i will be a student soon. I know its rough. Somehow you have to find a balance between everything. If you feel something is suffering, you should take some time to figure out how to make it stronger.