My wife assumed I was making the decision without her and told me to move out of the house and find my own place! I then told her that I wanted to talk to her about it, but that it really meant a lot to me since I really miss them.
Also, I feel that she should accept them as part of marrying me. At this point, she says I'm always going to put them first and she's always going to be sitting in the background and never do the things she wants to do. She's basically consented to stay in the relationship but says that divorce is always an option. Any advice?
Any time there's a problem with my kids, she tells me to move out. I'm getting tired of worrying whether or not I'm going to have a place to stay.
2007-08-28 01:35:20 · 15 answers · asked by PersonalImprov 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She told me she would stay but that she can do anything she wants short of committing adultery. I think she's planning on leaving once her classes end in December.
2007-08-28 02:07:41 · update #1
She sounds like she doesn't understand how much your children mean to you. If she does, then obviously she doesn't care. Of course your children are going to come first and she should have known and accepted that before she married you. I had 3 children when I married my current husband. He'd never been married and didn't have any children. He accepted the fact that their needs would always come first and he wouldn't have had it anyother way. We had a child together, and the four of them are close and loving. They don't label each other as "half" siblings either. We are now going into our 15th yr as a family and things have worked out. Talk to your wife and let her know that you DO love her, but that she is an adult and can take care of herself. Your children NEED you to take care of them, and that you really need her to either make a commitment to the kids or leave now, because it's not good for the kids to go thru another up rooting!
2007-08-28 01:49:48 · answer #1 · answered by Linda S 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You -are- a parent. Your kids -do- come first. This would be true even if they were her kids, too.
That said, you and your wife have to get together and decide on the rules, etc., for the kids. The kids have to treat her with respect -- they don't have to love her, but they have to follow the house rules, and be polite. And there will be times when their convenience has to give way to her convenience.
But in the big picture -- Mom and Dad want a new car or TV, but the kids need counseling, or braces, or tuition -- the kids come first.
It's always a balancing act. If you can find a good counselor to help you balance, it would be worth it. (Threatening to break up the marriage is really dirty fighting; there's got to be a better way, and a good counselor might have some useful ideas.)
2007-08-28 01:50:27 · answer #2 · answered by bonitakale 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most important thing is your children. It sounds like she is being selfish. She new this before she married you. When you marry someone you love everything about them including the children that may be attached. This will continue to be a problem for the both of you, because it is obvious she wants all of your attention. She can move on. Your children need you. The kids have probably seen what is going on as well. Find someone else who will accept you and your children and treat you right. Hang in there and GOOD LUCK!!
2007-08-28 02:39:43 · answer #3 · answered by D TRAIN 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you current wife married you knowing that you have kids and now she is acting like this you need to leave. There is nothing worse than a spouse who needs more attention than a child because they are jealous of the children. she doesn't sound like she is mature enough to handle being a wife and mom. Besides think of how her attitude is affecting your children. She is harming them also with her attitude. You need to leave and make a home somewhere else for you and your children and maybe one day find a lady who loves and deserves you all.
2007-08-28 02:09:46 · answer #4 · answered by chris d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok this is confusing your ex-wife asked you to take custody of your kids and your wife got angry because she thinks you put your kids from your 1st marriage before her?.
How do you treat you wife when the kids are there? do you involve her in everything ? , or do you treat her like a live in baby sitter , you go to work come home and sit on line and leave their upbringing to your wife ? , their step mother?.
Obviously there is more to this then your revealing , but 1 thing you should understand is yes she married you but she didnt marry your kids and she certainly didnt sign up to become the custodial party in this weekends probably was fine because she had you to herself for 12 days out of 14 did you even ask her if they could come live with you ? , or did you just assume she wants to play mummy 24/7?.
Its a 2 way street and all I am reading is you wanted your kids and you didnt ask her how she felt about becoming a mum full time , monetarily , emotionally to them.Are there any kids between you and your wife? , this may also be the cause.
2007-08-28 01:50:06 · answer #5 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Being a step parent is hard, I am one and trust me I feel the same way sometimes. But I am a parent to 2 girls of my own also, so I can understand. If your new wife doesn't have kids she might not understand. Also If your kids aren't well behaved, she may have right to say she doesn't want her life interuped like that. Not taking her side, but kids aren't for everyone.
2007-08-28 01:50:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who needs the drama? Take the kids and leave. Any grown up who doesn't understand that children come first shouldn't have children in their life. It just messes the kids up...they can pick up on the resentment very easily and it hurts them.
Think of the children!
2007-08-28 01:51:56 · answer #7 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She sounds very selfish and self-absorbed. This sort of woman is not truly concerned with anything but making herself happy. If she truly loved and accepted you, she would allows allow your KIDS to come first in your life.. no matter what. It isnt like you are sleeping with and having dinner with the Ex wife AND kids. She is trippin. Let her go. :D
2007-08-28 01:55:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your current wife is acting like a baby.Your first obligation is to you children,obviously.If you think she's going to leave I suggest protecting yourself-separate money to make sure you and your children won't be left high and dry.This sounds to me she want you to choose between her and your kids.If my wife told me to move out,she wouldn't get the chance to tell me twice.
2007-08-28 02:34:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want to stay with this manipulative woman? Get your own place, get your kids and raise them. You are a father first.
2007-08-28 02:23:12 · answer #10 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋