tell the truth in a property settlement but the exwife lies totally, and you loose, when does the pain go?

Question

I was involved in a property settlement back in the 90's.I told the truth.The exwife told 100% lies, but all the judges of the family court believed her and they gave me nothing, from all the years of my efforts.they even scorned me as if I was a criminal.I wonder how many years will go by before maybe I won't hate her.Life is good for me and I moved on but the hate for the ex is still there and also for those judges who never really tried to believe me.

Answer 1

It hurts just like when you told the truth when you were a little kid but noone believed you... right? Sammy did it, not you, and you got spanked and told you were bad for blaming Sammy? Those memories linger longer.

If you can't change it then it's not worth your energy. Sure, it's a bitter lesson in life that will never go away and it will keep coming back time and time again to drive you crazy. It's not the loss in property that is really getting to you, not the loss of your personal efforts in gaining that property (you gotta get over that), but it's the NOT BEING BELIEVED issue. That's what I call the "Sammy factor".

But every time those thoughts start taking over, you just gotta block them. Or you will go crazy. Going crazy won't get your pride back, let alone your property.

Life is unfair. Constantly. Awful people must be intuitively apprehended every day. Thank god you're not living under a bridge eating cockroaches.

Don't let the Sammy get you down. There's a brighter and better future wanting you to make it happen :)

Answer 2

LIfe isn't fair. You did the right thing so you should be able to sleep at night. I really think that the bad things people do come back around and bite them in many different ways. Don't waste your time hating an ex, you already wasted too much time on her. The judges have a job to do and they might be good or bad but they are the judges and they are people so they can make mistakes. Put the past in a place of unimportance and move on. You know that old saying about things that don't kill you will make you stronger. You said your life was good so enjoy every minute of it.

Answer 3

I think the key is that you can forgive someone without necessarily becoming their friend. I have forgiven my ex-spouse, but he will never be my friend. I have learned that he went forward with his life, probably made some changes, and has remarried. I think that's good, but that doesn't mean I'm going to hang out with him.

You told the truth. Now your own life has gotten better. The fact that you told the truth, not a pack of lies, should give you comfort.

Answer 4

When those feelings of hate come forward again, stop the negative energy flow right in its tracks. Simply don't go there. It's a waste of your precious time (and you know it). I know it's not easy (I have the similar feelings that boil up with my ex), but it can be done. Like you said - you've moved on and life is good. :-)

Answer 5

you know she will forever remember lying about it, it will never let har be fre of the lies she told and got away with. In old age it will still be there ......."i lied.....i lied" As she sits pissing her pants in a nursing home it will still be there, the last thing she remembers before dropping off the perch whill be the lies.....

Dotn let it bother you, you dont want to dwell on it for the rest of your life too, do you. Dont die in anger in old age, let her go she knows that she was wrong.

Answer 6

When you forgive and let it go. Simple to say, harder to do. But it's something you need to do - not for the ex, not for the judges, but for yourself. Holding on to it will only hurt yourself.

Answer 7

What did you do in court? I've never heard of the wife getting everything.

Answer 8

When she stops breathing I would think that pain would start to go away, I maybe wrong tho.