My ex wife has announced she wants to go back to live in her home country of South Africa with our kids (who are all primary school age). I can understand her reasons (needing the close support of her family etc.), but our kids are very happy here in the UK, doing well in school, and above all else I think it's important that they have regular contact with both their parents.
I wouldn't be able to travel to see my kids more than a few times in the year, whereas at the moment we live in the same neighbourhood, and I see them constantly.
I do see that she is struggling here as a single mother, but then again it was her choice to have an affair with another man and divorce me. Just because things didn't work out for her as she'd hoped with her new man, it seems unfair on my kids to have their lives disrupted yet further by moving abroard and not being able to see their father more than 4 times a year.
Also SA is a dangerous place with violent robberies and kidnappings, I'll be very worried about my kids living there.
How can I prevent her from doing this? And am I being selfish by doing so? (Her parents will see me as the devil who didn't let their daughter return home, and condemned her to single motherhood in the UK, ignoring the fact that she made this mess for herself).
2007-08-28 00:14:44 · 9 answers · asked by pantocool 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
in my opinion, you should have custody because she had an affair, to me, that's a poor parent, your children, too, could have affairs on their spouses, due to her influence =(... try to get custody... good luck =) and express in court how south africa has much crime! and express about the good schools in the UK! =) you can let her go home, just keep the kids w/ you lol...
2007-08-28 00:46:29 · answer #1 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're thinking is right. I'm in the US so UK may be different. In general, you can file a complaint in court stating what you basicaly said. Would you be willing to fight for the kids custody? Let her go ALONE to SA.
You have a pattern of seeing your kids all the time - this is important and everything could hinge on this one fact. She would be tearing apart the relationships you have now - bad for the kids.
She can't simple go. A court hearing on the matter needs to happen. Even though men usually get screwed in family court you are in a very good position. If you never saw your kids she could probably move.
Do you love you children? Are you willing to fight for them? Children should see both parents, but your ex obviously couldn't care about that. Be the father your children will be proud of. You are NOT being selfish, she is. Her parents opinions shouldn't matter to you. It would be tragic if she got away with this.
Best of luck.
2007-08-28 07:37:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
About the only thing you can do to protect your time with the children is provide enough financial support for the ho so that she can stay in UK.....tough choice but as the kids get older they may tell mom they prefer to live with dad, especially if they are male children. You are not being selfish wanting to be a parent to your offspring. What difference does it make what her parents think? You are father! Of course, her parents want the grandchildren close to them, they are the ones being selfish...not you
2007-08-28 07:26:31 · answer #3 · answered by fretochose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to speak to a lawyer about filing a junction to stop her from taking the kids out of the country, and to seek joint custody to the kids. that is how it would work in the US. just consult with a lawyer ASAP. and also try communicate to her that that move would not be in the best interest of the kids and is there way that you could help more with the kids or maybe you can keep them until she gets on her feet this way she would only have one mouth to feed vs. several. GodBless
2007-08-28 07:29:32 · answer #4 · answered by Crystal G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IMMEDIATELY find out what legal recourse you have to prevent your ex-wife from hauling your kids out of the country. Your children need their father every bit as much as they need their mother. I am unfamiliar with the UK legal system, but surely there is some protection for a father's rights to see his children regularly?
There is nothing selfish about wanting to be with your children!
2007-08-28 07:28:38 · answer #5 · answered by detailgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there a way for both of u to share jobs as parents so she doesnt have to struggle herself since u guys also love in the same neighborhood?
or take turn to take care of them, like 1 week in her house, 1 week in yours?
or just any best way u guys can figure out together
2007-08-28 07:26:19 · answer #6 · answered by lucky_1179 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want more informative responses, try re-asking the question in the UK version of Yahoo Answers.
Here in the U.S. we're not too knowledgeable on UK laws.
http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/
Best of luck & I hope you can work things out!!! I wouldn't want my kids there either!
2007-08-28 07:29:24 · answer #7 · answered by magwhump32 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
File for full custody, or file a block to keep her from moving out of country. i don't know if you can do that in the UK, but we can in the US.
2007-08-28 07:20:33 · answer #8 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hate to say this but usually all she has to say to judge is that she needs to go home to work and have the support of her family.He will let you work out viistation and thats usually it in america not sure about UK!
2007-08-28 07:22:17 · answer #9 · answered by hugsandhissyfits 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋