Ok my boyfriend is 23 and was asked by a friend of his who is 32 to look after his son for a week during the holidays as they had no one else too. He contacted us on the sundat night and wanted him to be looked after the next day for the whole week from 11 am til 6pm. My boyfriend is only working part time at the moment, and didn't want the child (who is 9) to be home alone for a week so said yes, even though he was trying to look for full time work as he has his mot and tax coming up. His friend said he would pay him, not loads but some and my boyfriend said that would be great as money is abit tight. Even though my boyfriend said to me he felt bad taking money from him as he has loads of kids to support. But I said you are helping him out and he should pay you, and the family are not skint, at all. I know this makes no difference but the bloke has 4 kids they have a big house, all the lateset consoles each and he pays my boyfriend £20 for the week.
2007-08-27 23:17:13 · 13 answers · asked by I~Love~Baileys 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I think my boyfriend should say something as I personally think he should have at least got £40-£50. The guy knows my boyfriend is the type not to speak up, but I am fed up with people taking advantage of him. Should I speak up? What could I say without ruining the friendship? Thankyou
2007-08-27 23:18:43 · update #1
Your friend cannot be a very responsible parent if he needs to go off like that. What is the urgency as we all expect children to have school holidays but we cannot just dump our children at short notice. You say it is from eleven in the morning till six pm. Well there are reliable childminders that social services can put him in touch with. It seems as if your friend knows that your boyfriend is weak so what about all the rest of the holidays what will your friend do then. Do you think that your boyfriend could his son who you say is nine and don,t you think this friends son would not rather be amongst other children. Money is not everything but l know it helps but tell your boyfriend not to be weak and how much will it spoil your relationship with your boyfriend. Please think things through as your boyfriend might have this money to-wards the mot and tax but it will not pay for it plus it does not sound as if your boyfriend really wants to look after his son so tell him to think how many other times he might be asked plus it will cost money to feed and entertain this nine year old as you cannot just give him a football and tell him to go and play on his own as your boyfriend will have to take him out somewhere which does not come cheap as a nine year old will get bored quickly so think first.
2007-08-28 00:07:57 · answer #1 · answered by owlet04 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was very kind of your boyfriend to be concerned for his friends 9 year old son. It is a huge responsibility to look after another persons child. I can understand your frustration regarding the amount of money that your boyfriend received, caring for this boy for an entire week. The only way your boyfriend could have avoided this whole sticky situation was to determine the exact amount of payment he would receive before agreeing to watch the boy. Money is always a deal breaker when it comes between friends. I personally think that you should not say anything, for the matter is over. However, I would discuss with your boyfriend that although it is generous to help others, compensation should be fair for both parties involved. Sometimes those who have less than others are the most giving. To say something now would only cause problems. The next time this friend asks for a favor, I would politely decline, and if he asks why, then give your reason. It is a shame that there are more" takers" in this world than there are "givers".
2007-08-27 23:56:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey £20 is better than nothing after all they are friends and its not if its a permenant arranement is it.
just being greedy and asking for more money will only ruin the friendship or worse still his friend will know its you that put him up for asking for more money.
i would just suggest that you do it sometimes as you need the cash but once your boyfriend has a full time job it will stop anyway or just make excuses why sometimes you cant do it and eventually it will stop, if he is a true mate he will not take advantage of your boyfriend.
as for looking well off with the use of credit cards and loans you can give anyone the impression your doing better than you actually are in truth the £20 maybe all he can afford???
2007-08-27 23:27:14 · answer #3 · answered by mik_se7 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you feel. This bloke is obviously taking the pee. Personally I wouldn't dare suggest £20 for a whole week! Hes got a nerve! If your bf has agreed to the £20, it will be much more difficult to ask for more. But it sounds like he wouldn't ask for more anyway. I think this time your bf will just have to let it go, and make sure that next time he needs a favour, his friend obliges.
2007-08-27 23:25:51 · answer #4 · answered by miss_ruby_topaz 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He does not sound like a good friend ,He calls late sunday expecting your bf to drop everything for him because he can't get anyone else .It is his problem and he should be better organised .what would he do if your bf said no ?? By the sounds of it moved on to who ever was next on the list .
Me personally i would not take money from my friends but this guy sounds like he uses people , so i would have expected more from him as childminders are not cheap nowadays .
2007-08-27 23:27:51 · answer #5 · answered by MICHAEL G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do not say anything, am sure your boyfriend did his friend a faviour even dough he is skint. as you said he offered to look after the child rather than being left at home alone. He did not do this in order to be paid.
I am like that my self. God always reward such people like your boyfriend. And am sure God will bless him more than just monetary means.
2007-08-27 23:39:58 · answer #6 · answered by Jimi O 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
£20 thats ridiculous, your boyfriends friend is an *rse, he needs to take responsibility for his kids and not pawn them off on his friends, oh he needs a slap, where's the mother of these kids? or grandparents who might be willing to be paid slave labour rates to look after their grandkids, thats a joke, i would have said £30 pounds a day, thats what childcare costs,
2007-08-27 23:22:30 · answer #7 · answered by mags_dbee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
£20 is a pittance but as no agreement over money was made beforehand, your b/f has no comeback. Maybe this will finally teach people to be more careful with agreements and money. Sort thing out beforehand and write them down!!!
2007-08-27 23:22:58 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell the man everthing you have just said about your fella looking for a job and the car! He is bound to understand and realise that he was a stingey git!
2007-08-27 23:22:49 · answer #9 · answered by emzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is really not your place to say anything. Your bf should not have accepted the job if he needed to look for work. Now he is stuck. If he has a problem, then he need to be mature enough to handle it on his own.
2007-08-27 23:25:23 · answer #10 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋