I lost my 3 yr old son almost 2 weeks ago, and it seems like all i do is sit in a daze all the time. I scream, i cry, ive hit walls, collapsed many times...i just dont know what to do...i dont sleep anymore, how do i start grieving? I have looked at many support websites, but none of them help. I dont want to talk to anybody but my son, so i dont want a therapist right now...what do i do?
2007-08-27 20:52:54 · 11 answers · asked by Nicky's mom 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
honey, you are already grieving. get the book by elizabeth kubler ross about the stages of dying. anger is a valid feeling as are acceptance and denial. This is the hardest thing you will ever have to deal with in your life. talking to someone would be a good thing. god bless
2007-08-27 20:56:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry for your loss. The best way would be to have someone (or yourself) make a very good slideshow with your son’s favorite songs on it. I know it'll be VERY hard for you to get over the fact that your son will no longer be around you. But you must know that you have to move on with your life. Did your son have friends? If he did, then talk to them. Have them come over your house and their presence will most likely make you feel better and remind you of the good times he had. Read some books about losing a loved one. How did your son pass away? Another thing you can do is try to spread some kind of awareness about the disease or accident that killed your son. Other than that, just try to remember that your son is in a better place and you'll reunite once again. I wish you the best!
2007-08-28 04:09:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
My heart really goes out to you as a parent myself. There really is no answer for this. All you can really do is give it time. You will never get over the loss of your son, though it will get easier with time. My mom lost my brother at the age of 6 25 years ago and she still has days where she doesn't want to get out of bed. She tells me seeking support was the hardest thing she ever had to do, and she credits it for helping her get through the worst of it. The greates thing about support groups are they are there when you are ready for them, so while it could help, don't rush yourself just yet. As for daily life, lean on your family and your friends, they know how much you need them right now, so don't be afraid to ask. As for starting the grieving process, it kinda just starts when it wants to, and there is no way to rush through it. You have to take the time you need in each step, and there is no guideline for how long each one should last. In fact, the grieving process is never really over once you lose some one you love. You go through all the phases only to find yourself repeating the process at different intervals. But the best advice I can give you is to talk to someone. Someone who loved your son and can help you remember what you loved so much about him. I wish there was somethiing else I could say to help. I am so sorry
BTW- I clicked on your profile and saw the link to your slideshow. It was a beautiful tribute to your son. Again I am so sorry
2007-08-28 04:17:39 · answer #3 · answered by Michelle F 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have already started grieving, bless your poor heart.
I am so sorry to hear that this has happened to you or any other parent.
If you need a shoulder to cry on, just contact me from my profile.
I have been fortunate enough not to have lost a child and don't know how I would go on, but I know it happens all the time, but that doesn't make things easier for you or anyone else.
You need to try to get on and keep your mind on other things if you can, it may be too soon yet though.
So, cry and talk about it all you can for now and remember, your child had to have loved you, that is the only consolation you can probably find for yourself for now.
Once more, I am so sorry and would love to help you if I can in any way.
Bless you dear woman!
2007-08-28 04:00:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm so sorry for your loss. However, your husband needs you now, too, both physically and emotionally. He may blame himself for not stopping the accident. Please don't leave him emotionally by turning inward and not including him. Try calling your local hospice for support. There are also separate support groups for parents who have lost a child: your hospital can help find one. If your child was killed by a drunk driver, you should also talk to the local MADD chapter, who can put you in touch with other grieving parents and also help you turn your anger and pain into action through educating others about the terrible dangers of drunk driving. And, while you don't want a therapist right now, a therapist will help you enormously: please don't turn your back on these experienced professionals. I wish you courage in this terrible time.
2007-08-28 04:49:03 · answer #5 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Go through what you are going through. You have lost a son, a child. Be patient with yourself. There may come a time when you actually start grieving, but you most likely will be angry for quite awhile.
Support websites are helpful later, not now. I feel for your loss, but that is all that can be said for someone who has not lost what you have.
2007-08-28 03:58:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have already begun the process of grieving.
Nothing I imagine would be more difficult than for a parent to lose a child, we all expect our children to outlive us.
I, nor anyone else can say, or do anything that will help you at this time, however know that everyone who reads your message feels for you.
Time is the only thing that will help, and even that will only dull your loss, it will always, as it should, be there.
2007-08-28 04:01:19 · answer #7 · answered by bgee2001ca 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i am very sorry. but the best way to get past this is to talk to someone about it. I know it seems very hard to talk to someone face to face, which I assume is why you have done it like this, but talk to someone, anyone. And just let them listen. A stranger can do that just as well as any therapist or anything. i recently saw two films 1 called the land of women and 2 called reign over me. In the first when a young man moves in across the street everyone in the family just starts talking to him, and all he does is listen. and it does them so much good. in the 2nd one a man has lost his wife and two daughters in 9 11 and he just pretends that he has forgotten them to everyone. though he actually sees them in his head everywhere. when he finally just talks to someone, he is able to get his life back on track. I know talking about movies probably does not help, because I know that your pain does not compare. but even so they might help.
2007-08-28 04:12:35 · answer #8 · answered by Ed 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You will never get over it. You will only learn to manage it because you have to eventually start living your life again but you will be depressed for the rest of your life. Just talk to you family and friends about, they are also hurting. Talk to a clergyman or counselor.
I really don't know what I would do in your situation.
I'm sorry for your loss.
2007-08-28 03:59:31 · answer #9 · answered by JJ 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Honey, I am so sorry. And for all the people who are saying bad things to you, just ignore it. I'm truly sorry for your loss. Just remember that he is always with you in your heart, and he never has left you.
Good luck to you[:
2007-08-28 04:03:12 · answer #10 · answered by :) 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋