I cannot bring myself to forgive him. What should I do?

Question

He is my ex. We had a complicated relationship in the past. We both were attached to someone else but we fell in love with each other. I had never question his love for me. But our relationship did brought us a lot of stress. He relationship with his gf wasn't good also but he chose her and starts to treat me badly.I cannot forgive his doings to me, I was so heart broken and decided we should have a clean break. I am too tired and I do not wish to let my bf wait. Severeal months later, me and my bf decided to get married. I love him and really wanted to have a peaceful life with him. I have no intention to contact that guy again. Well, maybe god wants to punish me, he rented an apartment near my house and also starts to sms and msn me occasionally. I feel that he had not got over. Neither have I. But what I cannot let go is the hate towards him. when I see him, all the bad memories triggers and I am unhappy again. How can I make myself forgive him? Hating someone is unhappy and tiring.

Btw, I am happily married and I only want my husband. He and I are over, I just hope to let things go and stop hating him. I do not wish to see him again at all. He had a new gf but why until now he can still sms me things that make me feel that he had not gotten over us... I really hope to forgive him. Carrying this hate is too tiring for me. But how to? What should I be thinking now to let things go?

I do not wish to see him again or neither have I contact him in any way again. I do not wish to ask him out to sy anything again because I do not want to remind mysef of the past anymore. My husband knows everything about us and he knows this guy too. My husband is a wonderful guy who is willing to accept all that I have done and never stop loving me, even during times that I am most underserving. And I love him, so I wish to move on and let go of the past. For him and for me.

Answer 1

God does not want to punish you, but he does want you to forgive him just as you want God to forgive you when you do things that make him unhappy, and open the wounds of his son Jesus, understand? Look at your ex differently, he is confused and will have a troublesome life. But you have a new start with someone that loved you enough to want to make a vow to be with you the rest of his life. You should feel sorry for your ex, pray for him and do not respond to his communication - love him like a child of God - from a distance. Concentrate on having a wonderful marriage and showing God how grateful you are that you did not marry someone as unstable as your ex.

Answer 2

i went though a very bad 6 year relationship my self and i ended up hurt real bad i hated him the only thing i found to help me was to think about this what goes around comes a round and he will get back what he put out the guy i was with told me he was going away for the weekend to see a friend i found out from my girl friend not him that he asked some girl he didnt even know to marrie him now i had went though hell with this guy i was so angery well he married her the following weekend 2 years later my girl friend tells me that he calls her crying all the time hes is very unhappy . i though it would make me feel better but i really kind of feel bad so like i said what goes around comes a round have faith in that lol

Answer 3

Putting it simple. First of all, you should not be worried about your ex-BF as he is just a junk. The first priority in your life should be your family, i mean husband and kids. You may be right in saying so that your husband knows about it and he do not mind but what I can feel being a man is that men generally do not like it, may be your husband is in love with you and he don't want to lose you, thats why he is ignoring all this and he is in a state of total compromise. But don't forget there is limit to everything. Put yourself in his shoes. If your husband is not satisfying your needs you better get closer to him and try to find a way.

The best way will be to keep yourself busy in doing things like job and add responsibility etc. so that you have no time to think about this. Slowly you will forget about your ex-BF and thats it. Don't try to be a fool by thinking about a person who has no value in your life.

And last, sex is not the only thing to do in life.

Answer 4

Firstly, you must remember that you are now happy without him

Is there anything that's nice about him that brought you to him? Anything that can be used in friendships? Like, maybe he is really a handyman?

Did you tell him you are happily married? Emphasize the fact that you are happy (or happier) without him

Can you don't think about him?

How long has it been? Such things will take a year or 2. My ex-girlfriend slept with my friend (or i don't know which way round it was) and i really hated her for a year or 2 even while my friend and i were in contact.... now we are still casual friend, along with my friends!

btw, we work in the same company, it's only recently i changed my job

hope it helps~!

Answer 5

He was playing the field. You were a side-dish. Period.

He is trying to see if you are still user-friendly and want to "hook up". The answer is NO.
You can answer ONCE just to tell him that you are not interested in having anything to do with him, and to please leave you alone. Then block him every which way. If he bugs you in person, you may have to get a restraining order.

Right now, you are busy beating yourself up. You have to forgive yourself first, and then detach from all the anger and funk and look at the lessons you learned... pretty spectacular lessons at that. School of hard knocks.

Answer 6

Forget about him. By what you tell me about him he is not worth any of your feelings including hate. I was in a relationship on and off with this guy it was a complete drama. He cheated on me. A year later he started calling saying he changed and wanted me back, I said no by then time has passed and i realized he was a complete idiot. I really hated him. Then I realize he is not worth any of my time or feelings including hatred. I completing have no feelings for him know what so ever. Loving him hurts you and hating him is tiring so don't love him or hate him. Move on with your life. Leave the past in the past don't let another minute of your life go by thinking about him. With every rising of the sun, think of your life as just begun

Answer 7

forgiveness is a gift. The person who receives the gift should never treat it any other way. The person who gives it - gives it to themselves as well.

Here's the Thing... you don't have to forgive anyone. It's really no biggie. No skin off anyone elses nose... cept yours.

Forgiveness is this.. I will not harm you because of what you've done to me. I will cause you no harm. If you take that step the rest will work out okay.

Answer 8

Forgive him??? What's wrong with you? Does your current boyfriend mean THAT little to you? I have an idea. Why don't you tell you boyfriend that you still have feelings for your ex, then laugh at him for buying your "I love you" bullshit.
If he's smart, he'll take the hint, leave you, and better himself AND his relationship status.
You heartless people make me sick. Where has the respect gone???????? Jesus, get a damn restraining order on your ex, AND FOR GOD'S SAKE.....stop answering his texts, you're just giving him hope.

Answer 9

Getting over on a certain unpleasant relationship is not easy particularly of forgiving someone whom you once loved so much but if you turn it all to God and submit everything to Him in prayer you will certainly have that peace and contentment within your heart.

Answer 10

Do not try to forgive him if you think he does not deserve it. And if you come across with him just tell him that you are not interested in him anymore and ask him to leave you be. Thats it. If you think that he is disturbing you never answer his messages. Sooner or later he will give up.