I recently have left my wife because I no longer have feelings for her. She asked me if it was because of another woman which I denied.
Should I be honest and tell her the truth, if I don't I will have to continue the lies and what I have said. Tricky!
Is honesty the best policy in this situation? Should I just set myself and her free by saying yes?
2007-08-27 17:53:36 · 20 answers · asked by audaciousfelon 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Personally, I would prefer not to know. An old boyfriend of mine broke up with me once and said it was because he needed to focus on career etc and I was fine with that and very understanding. A few days later i found out it was for another woman and it hurt SO MUCH more. I was fine with the breakup until I find out about the other woman. Please conside your wifes feelings and ask yourself if you were in her shoes would you want to know?
2007-08-28 12:09:34 · answer #1 · answered by Kylie P 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes of course; you've heard of the truth shall set you free right? Plus what do you have to lie to her for? For one; you already established that you are with someone else; and for two if you let her know the truth. she would probably want to move on anyway. So in the long run you can both move on, and eventually she'll get over you; and not even care to ask the initial Why? Who? When? What did I do wrong? Yeah you can cut that down pretty fast. Maybe next time you should tell the person you're with BEFORE you got "another woman" That's only fair. You reap what you sew. What ever you put out there, it will come back and probably worse. If this is what you ex cert out there one day when you care about someone they might tell you what you have to tell her! Or they might even tell you something WORSE!
2007-08-27 18:13:04 · answer #2 · answered by Sassygirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this situation, yes, honesty is best because what she is imagining is so much more hurtful, I can guarantee it. Women have very active imaginations and in absence of a real answer, we tend to create horrific nightmares that are much worse than reality. I would put it as kindly as possible though. You dont' have to say "I don't love you anymore"....you could simply say "I just don't have the same feelings for you that I once had but you will always be special to me."
2007-08-27 18:18:58 · answer #3 · answered by bestadvicechick 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you want to spare her the hurt feelings she will have knowing it is because of another woman. At the same time, it sounds like it will get to be too much work to dance around the situations that will come up in the near future. I'm always for married couples trying hard to work things out. That seems easier.
2007-08-27 18:05:35 · answer #4 · answered by Wickwire 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have already hurt your wife enough by leaving-
telling her about the 'other woman' will only
exacerbate the pain she is already feeling.
Simply tell her that your feelings
have changed and that you no longer
feel the same towards her as you once did-
that will be the truth.
2007-08-27 19:47:58 · answer #5 · answered by DG 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should tell her the real reason only because you will be leading her on otherwise.
if she thinks you just fell out of love with her, she may be hurt but still think that she can make you love her again and try everything she can to get you back.
she deserves to know the truth.
i think it will be easier for her to find out you have found someone else that way she will get over you faster because she will hate you.
i personally think you dont deserve her and i think your new girl should open her eyes and see what you are putting your wife through as a prediction for herself in the near future!!!!
2007-08-27 20:01:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fess up and be honest if only for yourself. In the back of your mind you should know you were wrong to cheat and you're now with someone who had no qualms breaking you and your wife (no matter the state of the marriage) up, karma has a way of catching up with ya
2007-08-27 18:19:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you and your wife are definitely through, it doesn't really matter if you tell her or not. Your marriage is over.
If you wanted to save your marriage you would have to tell the truth. But if it's over, that's the only thing she needs to know. You have separate lives now.
2007-08-27 18:36:35 · answer #8 · answered by MailorderMaven 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YES!!! You should let her deal with her emotions-it will hurt her but at least she will eventually get some closure for it-rather than finding out later that you were an even bigger A-hole than she thought to begin with. BTW-KARMA is a real *****-be careful.
2007-08-27 19:26:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes everything is set in motion already you should just let her know that you were a jerk and its not her fault that you cheated. Men for some reason think getting away with it makes there proverbial **** bigger when actually it does nothing but make you smaller
2007-08-27 18:21:15 · answer #10 · answered by D M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋