my husband has a best friend. his friend, is somewhat of a "bad kid". he cheats on his wife, does drugs, drinks, hits his wife, mentally abuses her, and dosent work. he also has a daughter on the way, and says he's leaving once the baby gets here. he says he acts the way he does, because he is a man, and will not let his wife walk all over him. the problem is, my husband is nothing like his friend, untill they start hanging around each other alot. yesterday, they were all here watching movies, and i asked my husband to turn down the volume, and he stood up and pointed his finger in my face and said he wasnt putting up with my sh%t anymore. he never acts like this unless he's around his friend. like hes trying to be a hardass around his friend or something. i've tried getting him to stop hanging around his friend, but he wont listen, and usually end up going out and spending the night at his friends house. what do i do?
2007-08-27 16:50:20 · 18 answers · asked by superyduperymommy 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he is staying the night at someone else's house that is not a good sign-he should be at home every night sleeping next to his wife-he sounds like he needs to grow up-leave him for a few days and if he does not come running after you-you will know where you stand in his life.
2007-08-27 19:34:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whoa, this brings back memories... do you or your husband have any other friends that have more in common with your life, such as married, have common morals, etc? If so, make it a point to start doing things with them, get your husband around that type of environment or this "venomous friend" will choke the life out of your marriage. You don't deserve such disrespect, and this is what you need to imply to your husband. Let him know this is unacceptable. Seek counseling, even if he doesn't accompany you, it would greatly benefit you and give you tools to make decisions on how to handle this obnoxious behavior, and it will make you feel like you are doing something, because it looks as though this may be something out of your control in some ways. Be prepared, it may possibly lead to divorce, but that would be a peaceful existence, and your husband will have suffered a great loss and gained a big freeloading, piggy, irresponsible pain in the ***.
I wish you luck.
2007-08-28 00:23:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, don't expect a change of attitude unless you force the issue. At this point, your husband is an a@%! The more his "friend" influences him, the worse things will get. Now is the time for action, just tell him that his attitude and actions are unacceptable and that unless he returns to his "previous self" there will be consequences.
You must not back down or give in or this 'attitude' will get progressive worse and he will start treating you the way his 'friend' treats women.
Be prepared to leave or more dramatic steps.
2007-08-28 00:05:57 · answer #3 · answered by jack w 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit down and write hubby a nice long letter (that way he can read the whole thing with out distraction) remind him of all the things he does that you really love, maybe include a couple of "you remember that time when....." then start a new paragraph with all the things he is doing lately since that are hurtful etc, dont mention the boobhead friend till the PS with something like, "so since ____ and you have been hanging around ive seen a not so nice side of you coming out and i dont intend to be treated this way. you can continue to hang around with him and lose me for a wife. its up to you.
then see what happens,
personally ive seen this thing happen to some friends, the guy started acting like his boob head friend, esp in front of him, like some acting test.....she had to put her foot down. as we all can see i dont think his friend could play her role. good luck
2007-08-28 00:16:39 · answer #4 · answered by hamhead 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you deserve the respect that you give him. And unless he wants you to loose all the respect that you have for him, he needs to cut the **** and stop trying to be honco moncho to the wife beater. Tell him that if this is how hes gunna be when wife beater is around, you dont want wife beater in your house. Your hubby is on a power trip fueled by his wife hating friend. Your hubby needs to grow the hell up and stop being an immature lil fool trying to impress his friend at the sacerfice of his marriage.
You need to tell him that, when wife beater isnt around, that he is sacerficing his marriage and putting it at risk becuz of his behavior. And you can tell him that if he continues to treat you like dirt, he can wave his middle finger at you all he wants from the crub while your slamming the door in his face.
There is no respect to be given to those who believe women are inferior, stand up for yourself!
2007-08-28 00:44:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i like christinas answer... but i like hamheads answer even better than mine... lol.... it is hard to make a man choose between his friends and his wife.. althought we all know what the proper choice should be, he will never see that... you know that your husband is not really like that... i would call him out right in front of his friends next time.... if he disrespects you again like that in front of his friends, tell him that just because his ****** friends are there dosent mean that he can pretend to be a hardass when it is really you who wears the pants in the family and he is the one in the mini skirt. also, i would absolutely not allow the friend in your home. but dont let him walk all over you to impress his friends...
2007-08-28 00:17:28 · answer #6 · answered by who are you anyway?? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like its leading up to a disaster. Obviously this type relationship is not going to last long even if you put up with his shenanigans. Start figuring out how you can bail out of the situation - not easy but you may not have any other options.
2007-08-27 23:58:18 · answer #7 · answered by Don S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first of all your hubby sound like a child that wants to be accepted.
so his friend will like him.
and being a bully to you is how he is doing this.
i would challenge him.
put your foot down when his friend is there and see what he dose.
just make sure you have some one else there so it dose not get out of control .
and that u leave if he trys any thing.
that is what i would do.
i hope this helps
just remember to be safe about it.
2007-08-28 00:34:38 · answer #8 · answered by r 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His friend is only going to cause trouble in your marriage. Tell your husband its either you or his friend. Him hanging out with a bad influence like that will turn him into a bad person and husband, especially since he has allready started acting like that jerk.
2007-08-28 00:00:06 · answer #9 · answered by cowboy_fan 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would DEMAND that he lose this so called best friend.....Either this friend goes....or tell him that you will! This is not a healthy relationship and it is only a matter of time before your husband is treating you on a regular basis the same way that this best friend treats his wife. How very sad.....
2007-08-27 23:58:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋