I find this boy's behaviors repulsive and am often "on edge" when he's at our house. He has developed these disgusting behaviors after I married my husband (whom I ABSOLUTELY LOVE WITH ALL MY HEART). I feel shallow in admitting that I find this helpless retarded child's habits completely gross. It's causing some major problems in my relationship. My husband is very sensitive and at times is VERY hard to talk to about this.
2007-08-27 16:15:20 · 17 answers · asked by s h 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you cant handle this situation you have the responsibility of getting someone who is qualified to take care of this child.Don't feel guilty many people cannot handle situations like this.
It is important that you make this child feel loved.It wont be easy but if you love your husband you must accept this child as part of your family.Try to get a care giver that will work with you in your home.
2007-08-27 16:52:34 · answer #1 · answered by Julius C 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can assume that you were aware of the boy's problem before you married his father right? No surprise, he didn't crawl out from under the bed one night and begin screeching. SO, you made a choice and accepted him along with his father. First you should find someone to discuss the problem with, then later on bring your husband into the discussion. If you two don't talk about the problem it just gets worse and at some point you will reach your limit and say or do something you may regret. It could be that he is just as repulsed as you but since it is his son and he is the responsible adult in the boy's life, he has put it behind him to try and do the best he can for his son. Depending on the condition of the boy he may at some time have to be placed into a more controlled environment. Since you state that he developed these habits after you married his father he may be doing it to try and drive a wedge between the two of you since he feels he is now less important than before. TALK!!! Don't just fume....
2007-08-28 02:25:52 · answer #2 · answered by Larry H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Until you accept this child as your own and not a step son - you will always be repulsed - would you be repulsed if it were your child? You knew this child had issues going into the marriage so you must deal with it. Talk to his doctors - and those working with him - if they are new behaviors - then maybe the child is reacting to you suddenly being part of the family. Also, if they are new - then maybe than can be worked on to be stopped or the energy redirected to something less gross. Tell your husband - you love him - you love the child and you want to work with them to find ways to help this behavior change for the better. Then deal with it best you can. (I have a special needs child of my own - so I really do understand)
2007-08-27 23:24:21 · answer #3 · answered by geminijeanna 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Mentally challenged child,didnt say how old.IM sure you knew the difficulties you may encounter,over the years ahead.The child is not aware of what he does and hopefully he will grow out of it These kids have special needs and require a lot of understading and patience.Hopefully you are to the challenge.Imsure your husband finds it hard to talk about this,but Im also sure he loves that son very much which even makes it more difficult.AS time goes on your husband will need your support it may be very hard at times but stick in there you can do it ,people who are in this situation and leran to cope with it are very rare and special folks.
2007-08-27 23:33:26 · answer #4 · answered by mr.mcscrofe 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow.. maybe he started these behaviors because when you married his father it just scared him.. no he dont understand where he fits it to all of this.. when he is around just be as nice as you can and ignore all the bad stuff.. maybe he will get used to the idea and go back to the way he was before you two got married..children or adults like that act on a different level than we do,,.when they dont understand what is going on around them they tend to act out.. get some books on the subject or do some web research and learn all you can.. remember they can tell if you dont like them and that will make it worse.. so even if you are repulse by his behavior act as if nothing is wrong
2007-08-27 23:50:09 · answer #5 · answered by vis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are selfish and arrogant. How dare you comment about a "retarded son", the proper term in this day and age is "special need". I happen to have a son who is "special need" and when I take him out in public and he does bizarre things, this does not bother me.I am even more accepting of people who have similar children, and fully accept them for who they are, habits and all.
Why don`t you just leave now, so him and his Father can find someone who isn`t so selfish and show some compassion to them?
2007-08-28 00:16:25 · answer #6 · answered by I tell it like it is 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The behavior is caused by his retardation and not something he can control. Either accept it or get counseling. I suggest the counseling because it appears you are the one that needs help dealing with this issue. I find it hard to believe that you ABSOLUTELY LOVE your hubby with all your heart when you can't deal with something that is not controllable.
2007-08-27 23:25:05 · answer #7 · answered by M M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to your husband and figure out what triggers this behavior, and find out what activities he enjoys the most. get to know your step son a little better. once you get to know him a little better, the gross part will fade, and you'll eventually get used to it. of course, you may not be able to sit down and have an intellectual conversation with him, but you can learn his favorite foods, tv shows, games, activites, all the above. once you learn a little more about him and understand him a little better, you'll be able to handle him as if he were your own son.
2007-08-27 23:28:04 · answer #8 · answered by superyduperymommy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you love this man, you'll accept his child just as he is. Obviously he can't change his "disgusting behaviors". This is something he can't help. My advice is to be an adult and get over what you find is gross and just try to love and accept him. Who knows, you may form a lifelong bond with him.
2007-08-27 23:23:57 · answer #9 · answered by tankerwife 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could locate of special needs teacher .. some professional that deals with severely handicapped children and ask them for help in dealing with this.
All mentally challenged people are different... perhaps finding ways in interact that help you create a bond will help ease your discomfort.
2007-08-27 23:22:46 · answer #10 · answered by Bentley 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋