Was My Punishment the right thing to do?

Question

I am babysitting my 12 year old nephew for 12 days. his mother out on a trip.

I ask him to do things, he never listens. I told him put away the dishes and he said "go hump a dog *****". its been 3 days now and he still never took a shower and I told him too and he said "make me you cow". He never listened to me once, does not go to bed the time I told him and always uses cusses and cusses towards me.

So I put a soother in his mouth and put a diaper on him, I treat him like a little baby and cuddle with him if he was a 2 year old. I even give him the routine of I give him a long bubble bath at 7:15, I scrub his hair and take him out at 7:45 and give him a lotion massage until 8:00, then tuck him into bed and kiss him goodnight.

I think he is getting extremely emberrased, I phoned his mom and told him what I am doing and she is fine with it.

Is this a ilttle too harsh, or is it what I should continue

I also do not let him outside without me holding his hand.

One thing for sure that does NOT look very happy when I am scrubbing him in the tub LOL.

Answer 1

I think thats funny.

Answer 2

OMG !! HHAHAHAHAH
I think you should go to the mall with him , meet his friends ( call them before ??) & all the whole time hold his hand - he needs to smarten up or he will end up on Jerry Sringer sooner than he needs to be . I'm so glad the mums also ok with it all !!! I'd continue till he does an apolgy - verbal & written , stating he will never do this again to anyone & if he does the 'contract' says he goes back to hand holding land.

I do think the bath & diaper thing is a bit harsh - it will work but if anyone else finds out school etc social services can be after you & ou can be charged even if you have the mothers concent . Maybe just continue the hand holding & non naked related things ? and get an appology verbal & written !!!

Answer 3

I understand your frustration, but the whole thing sounds like it could go real bad REAL fast, especially if he tells anyone what you're doing.

My first question is, where's the dad? If it's just mom on vacation, I'd explore the possibility of sending the kid to stay with his dad for the rest of the time. Another way I'd try to get him to comply is to tell him that if he's not going to help with the dishes or clean himself, then you're not feeding him. If he's in school he'll get one meal a day so he won't die. I would guess that after a couple of days of waking up hungry and going to be hungry he'll be a little more inclined to hellp with the dishes and bathe himself. I would also put breakfast on a schedule. Basically, if you're not up and ready to eat by (whatever time), then you don't get breakfast. What that will do is encourage him to go to bed early enough to be able to get up in time to have breakfast before going to school.

Above all else, be firm, fair, and consistent. And it probably wouldn't hurt to ask him why he's such a little prick. There could be some real hurt in him that no one has bothered to ask about or listen to.

Answer 4

Let me put it this way - you have openly admitted to child sexual abuse - in writing. You are taking a heck of a risk.
Sure, your nephew may have acted like a little sh*t, but that's no excuse. You're the adult.

Before you starting biting my head off, consider this:

Imagine an adult male doing to a 12-year old girl what you are doing to him. Tell me that's not disgusting, cruel, and quite frankly, against the law. I mean - a diaper, cuddling, bathing, lotion - against his will, as punishment???

I'm sorry, but I hope and pray you wrote this for a sick kick, because if not, you deserve all the trouble heading your way.

Answer 5

No you are not been harsh, your not beening harsh enough!!! at 12 yrd old the child knows right from wrong and he know better, come on next year he will be a teenager, he's playing you..You have to let him know who the adult is, make him listen to you scrubbing his hair and massages that's bullshit..I would beat his *** and put his butt in the bed, and trust me the next mroning he would look at thing a lot different, your playing right into his hands.. good luck..

Answer 6

I really do not like the sound of this. It sounds way to harsh. You should try taking away privileges. Like TV privileges or going outside to play. Things like that. Extreme measures like this may not turn out well in the long run.

Answer 7

we'll I think the bath thing is a little much. I hope he is wearing shorts or something. Other than that if he wants to act like a baby than treat him like one. But I cannot see no 12 year old letting you do all those things.

Answer 8

I dont know if this would work for your 12 year old nephew but with my 3 year old daughter I use vanilla(cooking vanilla) and when she doesnt listen or gets mouthy i just put a dab on my finger and put it in her mouth(tongue) she hates it, I do give her a drink after she has had the taste. It is not harmful. Good luck!

Answer 9

Wow. I am looking forward to the day this kid comes on YA to ask about the fantasies he's having about wanting his therapist to change his diaper.

Answer 10

Well if it's working then keep it up. I'm surprised that it's working. I'm surprised that's he's putting up with it, and even doing it. I think it's super creative and funny!

Answer 11

haha. i have 3 nephews, and 6 nieces, and if any of them tried that, they would have that for sure!