If you are happily married?

Question

then why would you look at/ fantasize about others. Isn't that really cheating in your heart? And what did you do to stop it, if you did stop?

Answer 1

Im happily married and i dont fantasize about others.

Answer 2

Merely looking at and fantasizing about others is NOT cheating in the slightest. In fact it can do wonders to keep a marriage happy.
Cheating involves either direct physical contact with another or even forming an emotional attachment to another.
My husband and I have been VERY happily married for 10 years now and one of the secrets to that happy marriage is that neither one of us is a jealous fool.
I allow, even purchase, "adult materials" for my husband.
And I am allowed the same respect.
If I see a pretty woman on the street I say to my husband - "she's very pretty".
Looking and fantasizing occasionally is a way to keep things healthy and fresh.
No one person can be expected to think of no one other than their spouse or significant other for 50 years.
It's unreasonable. We're all only human

EDIT: I wanted to add that it's not about looking at "someone who's more attractive". I am a very attractive woman and my husband is a very attractive man. It's about self confidence and knowing that at the end of the day it's ME that hubby comes home to. I don't have to worry about him straying because I'm not a jealous prude and I make sure that his every need is met.

Answer 3

You tricked us in the way you worded your question. I thought i was going to answer a question asking if i was happily married .I click and all of a sudden your asking about cheating and fantasize.Did i miss something somewhere.Sorry but I'm happily married and i don't need to fantasize about anyone else but my husband.

Answer 4

As humans we have the ability to fantasize about lots of things not just other people. Maybe that couple has an open marriage and takes it further, is that wrong? To them it's not, so why should anyone else care. If I see an attractive woman, I admire God's work and take my appetite home to my wife. I'm sure she does the same. That's called reality.

Answer 5

"Just because I'm on a diet doesn't mean I can't look at the menu." -- my husband

Everyone looks. Everyone appreciates a good-looking member of the opposite sex (or same sex if that's what floats their boat).

Hollywood has made millions on that simple fact of human nature.

However, there is a HUGE difference between thinking "Geeze, he's hot" and actually wanting to do anything about it... and an even bigger difference between that and actually DOING anything about it.

Now, if it gets to the point that you're so obsessed with the person that it interferes with your relationship with your spouse, that's one thing.

But a little looking and occasional fantasizing never hurt anyone. Moderation is the key.

Answer 6

Because my penis is not directly connected to my heart. If I fantasize about another woman then it is just that. Just because I got married doesn't mean that I signed over all of my sexuality to my wife for her to stash in her purse and never use. We are all sexual beings like it or not. I choose to like it and actually open myself up to it. There is nothing wrong with it and I can only hope that my wife fantasizes about things herself, because if she doesn't then I am in for a very dull sex life.

Answer 7

I'm a married man and I don't look at or fantasize about other women. My wife is the only woman I need, desire and crave. To look at another woman with undue passion and desire would be disrespectful to my wife. I don't have a wandering eye and I certainly don't have a wandering heart either.

Answer 8

Being happily married doesn't mean you've become a "non-human".

You can fantasize about others as long as it doesn't carry over into your normal every day life.....and as long as it doesn't take anything away from your marriage.

If you have a trusting marriage you can even share your fantasy.

For me it doesn't last long because I truly don't want the other person.

Answer 9

My first thought would be that he is not happy if he is looking and fantasizing about others, but my BF of almost 7 years always looke dat porn and fantasized and this was happening early when we were in a good relationship and having good sex everyday! But now he looks at it because we are at the end of our relationship and I truly don't think he is attracted to me anymore and likes ot look at other women... I don't know...

Some men are stimulated by visuals, they like to look at porn and other shi t that makes them hard and want to pleasure themselves. Don't take it so seriously. Offer to look at it with him and don't be turned off at the kind of porn he looks at. My man likes very extreme weird porn and I don't really care...

Answer 10

Even better than happily married--- content. I focus on my spouse. I don't take a second glance at others... by limiting my attention to my husband I see him at his best without the temptation to compare him to others. There is no way to completely avoid seeing or hearing about the opposite sex, but by choosing to not focus on what might seem better, I am able to completely focus on how attractive my husband is to me.

Yes, fantasy is cheating. Whether it is sexual or someone who seems to "understand you"--- you are taking the emotional and sexual gratification that rightfully belongs in your marriage and wasting it elsewhere even if the where is only in your mind.

Why would I bother to look at the menu when I am fully satisfied? I can get my jollies from checking out my husband. As he says, "When you've got filet mignon at home, why would you cruise by to check out a fast food menu?!" Prudery is not at issue. Wandering eyes and minds that are all too easily followed by hands (and more) are the issue.