~For Now~ comments please?

Question

~For Now~

Do me the honor of
telling the truth. Anything
else, only further pulls us
apart. If you're not
good, then I will
pretend to love you. It
will be my punishment on
you, for hurting me. But,
you see, mine is no
true love; so
perhaps it is
best just to say
goodbye.
Oh, but know
this: If I am still here, when
the moon has wept it's
last tear; when
the sun has bade
"Farewell!" to the Earth--then I
will still have your
picture, your words, swelling
in my heart. Keeping a light
burning, even in a frozen
place.
You may say goodbye forever,
but I will never, with still the
capability to hold tightly,
let you leave me altogether.


I would love to hear what you all think. I have diverged from my usual style, for a less technical approach. So tear it to shreds--I can take it. :-) And I would appreciate any information on the rules of free verse--I'm new to it.

Dondi: It's makes me smile to hear you say that free verse puts you off--me too. I've just been seeing a lot of it lately, and have been thinking that I'd like to try it, and see if it is good. I believe I had a pretty weak beginning, and maybe should have worked on it more before I posted it. Thanks very much for your comments.

Answer 1

As most on here already know, I have a very low opinion of free verse. Most people use it as an excuse to write bad. What I just read is not all that bad. The free verse style put me off to begin with, but as I read, it came together a bit and said poetry in a small voice. Keep trying, if you like it, and maybe someday it will scream POETRY in my ear loud enough for all to hear.

Answer 2

ok, I thought is was really good, but I thought the first few stanza"s were a little weak, but you made up for that in the middle verse"s and the ending! I loved the imaginary and creativity that you put into you"re poem! You are a very good writer and you have a way with words!

Answer 3

I used to write a lot of free verse, but not so much anymore.. In fact, I've grown to dislike it quite a lot. I like the message in the poem, I just don't like the style in which it was written

Answer 4

I'm not a literary critic and I don't know much about poetry but I think it's pretty good. What I'm getting from it is even though we may not "love" someone they can still have a profound and lasting effect on our lives.