What can I do to forget him?

Question

My boyfriend of 3 and a half years broke up w/ me out of the blue 5 months ago. He has moved onto another relationship and is happy. On the other hand I am depressed and unhappy all the time. I cant get myself to even think about dating other guys. I don't know what I can do to forget him when I still care about him.

Answer 1

baby girl, you have to see the facts; see the whole relationship from a third person's point of view. see why and what's the true reason of the break. it would take some time to see. but once you see it clearly, you would know that it was a blessing in disguise of the break. if he was truely loves you, he would not be so cowardly moved on without acceptable reason. can you see it baby girl?

Answer 2

You are expecting too much of yourself. It has only been 5 months. While that may seem like an eternity to you, it is not very long when you are mourning the loss of a loved one. And, although your boyfriend didn't die, your relationship did; therefore, you need to be patient with yourself during the grieving process.

From personal experience, and observing numerous friends and family members, it often takes about a year to reach the point where the healing process actually begins.

If you have not already gotten rid of the mementos of your relationship, either destroy them or box them up and put them out of sight. When you find yourself obsessing about the relationship, remind yourself out loud that you are just playing "old tapes" in your head and to change the channel.

Try to get involved in activities that will force you to take your mind off of this topic. Join a sports league or enroll in educational classes. Volunteering to help those less fortunate can help to put a new perspective on life.

While the saying "get under someone to get over someone" is cute, it is definitely not true. And, you could end up feeling even worse.

Be patient with yourself. It takes time to heal and rebuild your self-esteem. And even though you can't see it yet, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Answer 3

Well, first of all I want to say that I'm really sorry that you are hurting so badly right now. I, myself, have been there and done that. It was a year and a half ago that I was in your exact position. I was in a relationship and my gf broke up with me all of a sudden, leaving me most distraught, confused, shocked and many other disturbing emotions. Let me say, from one girl to another, I truly understand what you are feeling and having to go through right now, and I think trying to find ways to forget about him is the key to the right path....

It's totally normal to feel a bit depressed about the whole situation, but in time, you will go through stages: first you might be sad, then extremely angry, then hopefully you will forgive, let go and allow yourself to start anew.... The pain needs time to mend, afterall...

Some things that have helped me when I was going through it, will hopefully be of use to you. I know you may feel that the last thing you would want is to be around people, but try and force yourself (if you must) to get out and socialize. Occupying your time with friends, family and people, provides some energy that you can absorb from, and you will need their support during this time.
Also, try and get yourself involved in as many activities as possible. The more time you have to sit around doing nothing, the more you will allow the pain to overcome you and that will be the only thing you will think about. So try and be a little independent, one day at a time. Now is your opportunity to do things that YOU like to do... I am a poet, so I wrote my pain and feelings away.... maybe you like to do sports, read, shop...and if not, get into something.
Lastly, talk to someone. It is quite therapeutic, and can help you vent. Having that type of support is critical right now. Its good to remember having other types of relationships with people in your life that are truly caring and supportive of you. If you ever feel really depressed, and don't want to talk to any of your friends, then call a local Crisis Hotline and speak to someone who can help. Just know that things are not hopeless and things will truly get better, in time.

You probably won't ever forget him, but trust that in time, you will move on and there will be someone more suitable for you; someone that has the qualities and strengths that you need in a healthy relationship. Best of luck to you and I hope things only get better for you from here.

Answer 4

If he has moved on and is happy, then it is best that you do the same. If he has moved on so quickly its probably due to the fact that he was already with the other woman. Chalk it up and move on! He obvoiusly could care less about how you are feeling right now so get yourself together. Remeber, happiness comes from within, you state that you are not ready to date, so don't.

Answer 5

jus keep doin ur own thing, its ok to still care about him, after a while ul get over it it may take time but ur still alive right! if u dont fell like dating its, like i said do ur own thing enjoy being single that can be a advantage. u got more time to look at ur goals an ur self now n get yo **** together n try to do better. No one can hold u back no matter how hard they try. N dont ever think ur not good enough n if hes happy let him be n if he ever trys to come back get ur papi to lay some hands on him! or jus dont take him back.

Answer 6

Youcan't let the past eat away at the present or you will never progress positively into the future. He is gone and you rightfully have been sad...but the time is now to look ahead.

Answer 7

Your doing the right thing. One day you will wake and the pain will be gone. You will be stronger and happier.

Remember a sense of loss is terriable. I hurt for you.

Answer 8

Get under someone to get over someone!! lol other than that only time can heal!

Answer 9

Do you remember why he separated from you and was it triggered by you? If not, then you need to ignore him.

Answer 10

start having s-e-x. and lots of it.