BF could not make it to lunch -- should he apologize?

Question

My BF said he would meet me outside for lunch. Sent his co-worker a mutual friend and said he would follow.

He never showed. I had his lunch boxed and sent it to him. After an hour, no call, no email. I call him he says thanks for the food I can't talk right now.

I think he could have found two second to email me. Sorry I could not make it to lunch :(

I feel like he does not treat me with the common courtesy he would give a friend. I'm sorry but my job is very demanding and yet I know I can find time between 2-4 to send out a one line email.

I know he will tell me I am too sensitive but going from being lovey-dovey and getting sweet text messages a couple times a week. to three years later not rating a brief email when stood up for lunch is very irksome.

Of course the occasionally happy face text or email died long ago.

Am I wrong to feel taken for granted at this point? (Just in case, I will let you know that I still do these things...)

Answer 1

No!

Answer 2

Yes, he should apologize. Guys are sometimes funny like this. Could i take two seconds to text that i couldnt show - absolutely. Sure he cant talk right now - id believe that, but it is common courtesy to excuse oneself for a split second to call. Does he know that it is important to you? Or is he worried that you would blast him over the phone if he couldnt show? Be careful with that one, cuz this is more likely ... if he cant deal with an arguement or a long winded sorry in some important job meeting or the like, then i can see why he wouldnt call. If you want more attention, then ask for it and tell him that it matters to you, and compromise with him on how much. But at the same time, why dont you ask him what he would like from you? and i mean without arguing or giving excuses as to why u or he cant do whatever the other wants more of. Give and take makes it fair, as does compromise and understanding. You both win this way.

Answer 3

BF's are not permanent if you get my meaning. If common courtesy is not one of his present characteristics, don't believe he will develop it were you to decide to marry him. No body appreciates being stood up, and especially without an apology! If you have any self respect, and I think you do, or you wouldn't be addressing the matter, let him make his own lunch!
Yes women are sensitive about things that some men might not be sensitive to. Nevertheless, if someone loves you, they should try to understand those things about you and attempt to accommodate them. If they don't care about them, then you will be their "rug"! Take this as a forewarning of your future with this guy and plan accordingly! Don't make the mistake that many women think they can do, which is to change a person. That will just cause resistance and grief. If you can't fully accept him as he is now, then it is time to move on!

Answer 4

Things always die down some whether we like it or not in most relationships. Well, what was his reason for not showing up? If it was work related you might want to be more understanding. But if he didn't have a good reason and he does things like this often then I would keep an eye out on him. Seems he's not as interested in you as he once was. Do you think that is the case? Some guys just get so used to be babied that they expect it and stop appreciating it as much. Stuff doing so much for him and see how he responds.

Answer 5

you are being too sensitive. where I work personal emails, no matter how brief are not allowed. They generally let it pass but if a person is already in hot water with the boss they use it as a reason to fire you. sometimes things come up at work that you just can not pull yourself away.

It would be nice if he apologized but not required. Maybe you should wait to see what he has to say when he gets home.

Answer 6

Are you wrong for feeling the way you do? No.
It was disrespectful of him to make an arrangement with you, and just not show. And then not to take a few moments to thank you for your thoughtfulness in getting him his lunch anyway, makes him doubly rude.
He IS taking you for granted, and the small loving things (Texts, e-mails, a thank-you when appropriate) are the very things that help keep a relationship vital and alive.
Talk to him about his attitude and how he makes you feel. If he doesn't want to work on it, then it may be time to let this go.

Answer 7

Maybe I'm from a different time-zone [as in age] but gee whiz THREE YEARS into a relationship and you're flapping about? I never went with anyone that long...either we broke up or got married. [semi-joke] Seriously, tho, that's a long time to maintain the lovey-dovey...if you're not living together or anything, what's the value in tying yourself up so tightly that you feel cranked about the small stuff. Lunch is small stuff. You've still got choices, sis...lighten up, get a spare boyfriend for variety, or abandon ship entirely. ....[I'm still thinking about THREE YEARS OF THIS?]

Answer 8

May i be very honest here?
If he use to be all lovey dovey and now u never get that any more i think something is up. if things changed dramatically i think u really need tot alk to him and ask him wat is up. u dont seem very close to him if you cant even ask him why things hav changed. when i felt my bf had gone cold on me i strait away pulled him aside and asked what was goin on and he reasurred me everything was fine and that after all he was goin thru wit work things will be bak to normal which it did happen and it was only couple fo wks b4 it went bak to normal. communiaction is the key u must be able to ask him anything u want. and i think he is really bein insensitive to ur feelings if he cant even let u know he's comin to lunch. IF MY BF DID THAT HE WOULD NEVER DO IT AGIN TRUST ME

Answer 9

No you definitely deserve to feel angry and your boyfriend is definitely taking advantage of you. I think the two of you need to have a talk. Honesty is key. And don't you dare let him tell you you're being too sensitive. You have a right to feel how you feel. Tell him how much you miss him sending you those cute msgs and you know what until he shapes up don't go overboard doing those nice things for him like having his lunch boxed for him. Do enough for him to notice you are visibly annoyed. If he doesn't like it tough!

Answer 10

Of course he should apologize... but the bigger question is this: is this part of a pattern of bad behavior, or is he always this rude? And if this is a pattern, how long do you plan to put up with it?

It's normal in relationships that the "puppy love" stage passes. But that doesn't mean you treat your loved one with less regard than you would a business associate.

Answer 11

Girl, give your boyfriend some space, you remind me of my girlfriend. He's obviously busy and can't come to lunch if he sent his coworker. Why would he waste time to E-mail you when he's too busy to have lunch, he would have came out if had that time to E-mail. Look it's okay to have needs and it's alright to want attention, but it's not okay for you to be so demanding on the guy. I mean he's working, it's not like he's ditching you to watch a game. Just a friendly piece of advice, if you stop smuthering him, I guarantee he'll pay more attention to you. Guys just love the chase, if you keep throwing yourself at him, he's less likely to respect you.