and I am suddenly scared. I take marriage seriously and I have a wonderful man in my life. However, suddenly I feel scared... What if it didn't work out? What if he or I fell out of love?
I don't know how to calm my thoughts... Is this normal? It's just about the "What If's?" of life... I am happy that we are getting married but at the same time I feel really worried....
2007-08-27 11:47:57 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, I think all brides and even grooms go through this point wherein you just feel anxious because you don't know what to expect or whether you might be expecting too much.
Just like what my husband says, to worry is normal. So don't scare yourself too much. Think positive and be happy because atlast you will have a wonderful man to share the rest of your life with.
Just remember your wedding vows and live by it. Congratulations!
2007-08-27 12:03:27 · answer #1 · answered by ♥♥♥MiSSY♥♥♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been married 1 year now and was wondering all those things you are. We got pregnant right away and our baby is 3 months old now. It's a struggle you have to make it work. There are times when I love my husband but also hate him (I think it's the pregnancy hormones). I just think of when we were living together and I could leave at any time but didn't, now it's a permanent situation that we both put effort into. Be realistic, you won't always like each other but if you both work at it every day it'll work out. Remember what you really like about each other and why you became partners.
2007-08-27 18:58:57 · answer #2 · answered by Kristina 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's normal. 2 Days before my wedding I was freaking out too, and the day before I couldn't stop crying because I was so scared (but I've been divorced before so marriage was scary for me). But I have to tell you now that I am SO glad I married him. My husband just amazes me every day with what a kindhearted, wonderful man he is, and now that we've been married a year and a half, I am more in love with him than when I married him.
But still, you have to go with your gut, like is there any rational reason for being afraid to marry him?? Does he have any major issues (like drugs, chronic unemployment, irresponsible, abusive, a cheater, etc) or are you just scared in general about being married? If it's the former, get out now before it's too late, but If it's the latter, it's normal to be scared. Also do you really love him and are you willing to be 100% committed to him even when you get mad at him or things aren't going right? Because marriage is also about committment even when you don't feel like it, and not just love feelings.
2007-08-27 18:58:26 · answer #3 · answered by Wintergirl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure people have responded to this with this same remark I don't know how many times, but you are just getting cold feet. If you really love this man and he loves you back, then to hell with it. GO FOR IT!!! Go for love. Don't worry about the what ifs the shoulda coulda wouldas. If it doesn't work out, then so what. You can't be scared. Love is scary and if you have been in love for real for real then you will know exactly what I am talking about. If this man is meant to be in your life then he will be. Falling out is a part of EVERY relationship married on dating. Nothing in this world is perfect and I do mean nothing. You just have to trust yourself, your fiance', and most importantly LOVE. If the trust is not there then you wont make it. You wont have shyt.
2007-08-27 19:29:21 · answer #4 · answered by sr04model 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes being scared is normal, we don't know if any of the choices we make in life are going to work out. Marriage isn't easy, you both are going to have to work hard at making it work just like you do with anything you decide to undertake. It is a partnership. I have been married for 20 years and it din't just happened we both worked at it to make it last. Yeah some people don't stay married for long but I don't think half of them worked at it. It is a commitment you mek to yourself and each other for better or worse yada yada yada. After you say I do you will get a new kind of scared. It will go away.
2007-08-27 18:55:46 · answer #5 · answered by sewcrafty007 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
those are just pre wedding jitters. and that is very normal. calm down. go work out, take a kick boxing or spinning class, or get a massage. you said that you have a wonderful man in your life. whenever those thoughts come up in your head think of him and the wonderful memories that you two can make together. and if for whatever reason your marriage doesn't work out, as long as you gave it your best shot then you can be satisfied and have peace with that.
2007-08-27 19:04:58 · answer #6 · answered by PreciousLady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ofcourse it's normal, but as long as you believe you have a wonderful man who will someday be a good father and provider for the family you wish to have it's all good. Just enjoy the last month of your engagement you're about to start a new chapter in your life and it's a celebration. I've been married for four years and you never fall out of love its actually easier cause he's no longer your boyfriend but your life long partner and best friend. Congratulations!!
2007-08-27 18:59:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sweet-hart you have a good man in your life the only thing that is going to drive him off is you thinking the way you are if he has not feel out of love with you now than that is a good thing some guys are scared to pop the question but he did dosent that say something you will be OK just take that leep forerd and take what belongs to you and have a happy life with the person that you love:)
2007-08-27 18:58:27 · answer #8 · answered by REBECCA H 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Relax! You're just having what is commonly called, cold feet jitters. If you got this far in the relationship, then the marriage is right. There's nothing to worry about. you're just not used to being committed, married, or even to being out of the family house. I hope you're used to being loyal, though, and that you choose to let it happen, then to be happy. Congrautations!
2007-08-27 18:57:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is natural to feel anxious and unsure..but..I am curious about both of your ages..you sound very young...did you both think this through or did you just decide you two were both ready to jump into this marriage...first two years are normally lots of fun, sex, fun, sex...after that..REALITY HITS! then you start to see what your marriage is made of...
make sure you two discuss your likes and dislikes...your habits..what makes you comfortable or uncomfortable...because you do not want suprises in your marriage..be open with one another and be different..work at your marriage and try not to become a routine couple..
Do things together with one another and apart with family and friends..so when you get together it would be special..take trips together...have dinner dates with other couples..(real friends) not the back stabbing ones!
try to make your marriage extra-ordinary..not ordinary! make it fun from time to time..but don't over work yourself trying to make the marriage work..let it flow and and take things day by day...
Don't think about other failed marriages...think about the ones that have succeeded and continuing to succeed..hang around positive couples..not couples with major problems..
Good luck with your marriage and may it be blessed to last!
2007-08-27 19:05:11 · answer #10 · answered by cherrypopsickle2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋