Ok after my first poem this morning I was advised to say more with less. I hope nobody takes offence at this poem by the way- not my intention- it just got stuck in my head
Saw this chick
late last night.
Thought she was fit-
Bit of alright.
Now I'm wondering all day
When and where did I catch gay?
Once again- all comments welcome- I am but a poet (as technically I have written 2 poems now) in a lowly sense.
2007-08-27 11:30:58 · 6 answers · asked by Foxymona 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Before I read the poem. I will comment on your beging senentence. I dont' think that it really matters if it offends someone. Most great work is going to offened someone. Hopefully your work is good enough to evoke such an emotion that somebody feels something from your work. As long as it's based on the work and not on the quality.
I think it's funny. When and where did I catch gay? If you are then you've always been at least that's what I believe. Nice poem. You can get in your head space really easily.
2007-08-27 12:14:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anthony M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lol...actually, it's not bad. It may not be PC, but it captures a poetic jibe quite well. I'd reword the "Now I'm..." line though, because it is a bit awkward...maybe, "I've been wondering all through the day". Just don't make a habit of creating something akin to limmericks as your only style.
...but keep writing :)
2007-08-27 11:39:20 · answer #2 · answered by Kevin S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep trying some day u will be known now hers one 4 u,
DIANA TO DI
D ‘‘Diana the queen of people’s hearts,
I In the wilderness she lies, all alone,
A At Althorp, her island of calm and peace,
N Never to be disturbed from solace at last,
A A ROYAL HIGHNESS, deserved in the past.’’
T To her a tribute this is,
O On her 10th death anniversary.
D DIANA is the soul of loneliness,
I In human memory, for ever cast.”
2007-08-28 03:23:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i've got self assurance that there is various of thought to be recent in examining the apologies of others. it is unique in which you get a short glimpse into what went incorrect with somebody else (without understanding the guy), and now and returned can draw parallels into your own existence or wrongdoings.
2016-10-09 08:35:28 · answer #4 · answered by elkayam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's okay. It's not profound, or funny, or paradoxical. It's just a little rhyme.
2007-08-27 11:38:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offence but it is too simple and unimaginative for me.
2007-08-27 11:40:02 · answer #6 · answered by Niamh 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋