He says she has messed with his mind and that he still has feelings for her, but he wants her to keep away from him. He hurt her in the past and feels truly regretful, and since she told him that she forgives him ,he still isnt ready to forgive himself. we been together almost 2yr on and off. I dont know what to do i told him that maybe i should leave him, and he says it's my choice but then also has said he wants us to work. He tried so hard to get me back, i dont undestand him-she was his sweetheart/ first love, though...is it true that a person will always have feelings for their first love?
2007-08-27 11:13:53 · 23 answers · asked by tacva 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The reason she has come back is because his roomate is now dating his ex-girlfriends bestfriend. He appears to really like her. I talked to my boyfriend and he said that he has finally made peace with her forgiving him, but that he still and may always have love feeling for her. Not because he is in love with her but because of what she represented to him. He says he loves me. Now the problem is that his roomate wants his new girlfriend to hang out with the group in gatherings and I dont know how that situationg will be if she brings her bestfriends(the ex). I feel shes just walking in uninvited, especially because she applied at my boyfriends job, ( thats where both my friend/roomate) work. When they talked she also told him that he will never be albe to errase her from his memory and his life...Her attitude bothers me, he said that that may be true and he knows that is the same for her...i dont know how to approach this?
2007-08-30 11:53:34 · update #1
run like hell!
2007-09-03 11:14:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There will always be a spot for that person, but in this case is your bf in need of just being alone for a little. You dont deserve to go through what he's dealing with. And at the same time its understandable that he would feel this way but should know not to be selfish. I think everyone should just take a step back and look at the situation up close. Its going to hurt someone in the end regardless.
2007-08-27 12:24:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as he says that he wants to work on a relationship with you, then you have to believe him. Does he include you in all the activities with this roommate so that his ex, if she is included, sees that he is taken?
It may be true that people keep the same feelings for each other but that doesn't mean they have to act on them or that acting on those feelings would lead them anywhere. There is a reason they broke up and didn't get back together. Now, just because of the roommate connection, they would get back together? That's not a good enough reason.
If he wants her to keep away from him, then he has to act on that by including you in social situations with her, if he even has to be in those situations.
Since his roommate organizes activities with her included, it may be unavoidable to see her but he doesn't have to see her alone. In fact, he doesn't have to participate at all. If he relaxes and lives his own life the way he wants to, it should be fine.
2007-09-03 21:15:15 · answer #3 · answered by kathyw 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One thing which I think you are lucking is confidence. First you dont give hime the love that he wants or that he expected from you. Those feelings of his past girl friend are coming to his dreams as you frustrate him
Love him, spare some time and show the love he has never seen before.
All the best
2007-09-03 22:03:34 · answer #4 · answered by mwanyu 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A person will always have some type of feelings for their first love. You never forget a first love. But that doesn't mean they're going to end up or want to be with this person. I know you must feel jealousy right now,but he needs to be sympathetic to your feelings as well. Does he talk about being with her to you? If he wants to be with you then you should be happy, but he will never forget his first love.
2007-08-27 11:21:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say it, but the saying is true a person will always have feelings for their first love. you approach this by taking a break with him. tell him he needs to go see her and talk things over, and see if something is still there.
2007-09-03 08:55:21 · answer #6 · answered by betty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not really the type of person that is lost for words, but I am now. Ok. Why do you want to place yourself in all of this drama? It has got to hurt not knowing if one day he may say to you'' I want her back,'' If he love her and is unwilling to turn away from the past? then what do you really have?
2007-09-01 11:45:17 · answer #7 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He either does not know what he really wants in your relationship, or he is taking advantage of the fact that you will let him play with you while 'deciding' what he wants to do about his relationship with his ex. Go out and look again and maybe this time you will find someone that appreciates you and you alone. You do not need his kind of baggage.
2007-09-01 23:47:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is true that person will always have some kind of attachment for there first love maybe you guys need space so that way he can figure out what he wants and so can you but you cant wait around forever.so hes the one who needs to make a decision i think he should stay away from her. shes using that against him i think.
2007-09-04 06:28:42 · answer #9 · answered by babyshorty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before the two of you can have an honest and healthy relationship, he will need to get past his feelings (whether they are hurt feelings, regret, etc.) for the ex-girlfriend. It may hurt you a lot, but you need to give him the space to get past those feelings.
And, yes, most people will always have strong feelings for their first love, but it doesn't always mean they end up together. (my first love turned out to be gay...hooray for me, huh?).
2007-08-27 11:20:27 · answer #10 · answered by Kate 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Alarm bells ringing i dont have any feelings for my first love as far as it goes is that i would never want any harm to come to him (my first love). Your boyfriend sounds well messed up but if he really loves you he wouldn't give her a second thought if i was you i would cut my losses and run!!!
2007-09-04 00:18:58 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋