last night my boyfriend told me that that he feels the sparks are gone, it broke my heart to hear that. but i thought about it and thought maybe only sparks last for the beginning of a relationship, like look at married couples who've been married for yearss, im sure their sparks are gone. we've been dating for over 8 months and we love each other to bits, he was considering on breaking up with me, but he didnt because he says he loves me and he cant let me go.
so should i just leave everything how it is? or what.
hepl plleeease :)
2007-08-27 10:54:59 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
most people are telling me to break up with him, but its harder then you think.
i love him with all of my heart and it would be so hard to let him go.
maybe i can just give this another try.?
2007-08-27 11:01:26 · update #1
Noooo, he's not interested in someone else.... fading sparks are a very natural process in an evolving relationship... as u said married couples cant keep their hands off each other at 1st but then there's so much love and respect after the spark is gone, and the feeling that u cannot live without the other person... let me assure u that i've know couples who "seem" so into each other coz u can actually c sparks flying off, however they are not in love,... and there are couples who might "seem" boring and routine has take over, however they are sooo much inlove. I've been in the exact same situation as u r , and also it was my bf who re-assured me by telling me he loves me despite the lost spark... and every now and then u can get to do something exciting that could spark ur day..... do not worry at all.... leave everything as is,goodluck
2007-08-27 11:08:07 · answer #1 · answered by virtualbeing0 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's something that he needs that he's not getting in the relationship. I'm a guy and I've been through this many times. Most likely its sex, 90% of the time the guy is not getting near enough quality sex and the woman ALWAYS thinks he is. Guys will leave you in a heartbeat for this. Find out what his quality sex is and frequency and GIVE it to him.
Do you stroke his ego enough, do you make him feel like a stud publicly? You'd be amazed how many men leave good women for a bimbo just cuz she calls him "daddy" or "papichulo", there's a reason bimbos get so many guys.
Stroking a man's ego the way he wants has the same effect on him as a surprise candle lit dinner with a bubble bath and massage to a woman.
Do you have fun with him doing HIS hobbiles? If he knows he can take you fishing, doing car stuff, playing vid games and you ARE a ton of fun and don't kill the vibe, he won't let you go.
Last thing, make sure he hasn't lost respect for you, cuz he won't want to be with you if he doesn't respect you. I'm letting you know how guys think, it might not be what you want to hear, but its just the way it is. I wish you the best.
2007-08-27 11:18:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been with my husband for a total of 3 years. The sparks have always been there for us. I still get a smile just from watching him walk through the front door. You can't force sparks and if you're in a good relationship they should never not be there. Search your heart and really ask yourself if you want to be with this man. A relationship should always have sparks. If they're not there, then it's not a good relationship.
2007-08-27 11:00:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The sparks are gone after only 8 months? If he is considering breaking up with you, then let him. Any guy who plays that card is trying to tell you that he wants out of the relationship. You deserve better than that! Good Luck.
2007-08-27 11:00:02 · answer #4 · answered by Chris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break up with him. Tell him, if he were the right person for you, he would love you and want what is best for you. He woudln't be worried about a spark or two!
I have been with my baby 3 years, and our sparks are fine. We are old, too. He is 64 and I am 57.
Don't let him decide your life. YOu decide. You don't need a sorry relationship like that.
2007-08-27 11:03:48 · answer #5 · answered by Lottie W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married for 20 years and it is just as special now as it was when we first got married.
What does he mean by the sparks are gone? Does he mean sex is not as good? You guys need to talk. Unless you do that there are no solutions.
Be willing to try new things so long as you are safe. Don't do anything you are not comfortable with.
2007-08-27 11:01:39 · answer #6 · answered by Collette L 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what the blank is this he told you the spark was gone and it broke your heart, you thought sparks last only in the beginning listen they last as long as the person is interested in you okay,
If he wants to break up with you than don't worry he wasent right for you to began with. Take it easy and stay cool
best of luck
2007-08-27 10:59:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to get the sparks back on. Think hard on this. What did the two of you used to do before you got too comfortable with each other? Also, I really think that having sparks are seriously overrated. Try to talk to him about it.
2007-08-27 11:05:55 · answer #8 · answered by Caitlyn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been married 10 years and still have sparks. If there aren't any now, there isn't much hope of them in the future.
Sorry
2007-08-27 11:06:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to ask for the reason. You need to ask for the honest truth and not be afraid of what it could be. When a man says that the sparks are gone it means that his needs, whatever they may be, are not getting met.
2007-08-27 12:09:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋