I'm 21, I don't live with my parents and they are somewhat struggling. They keep telling me that they payed for whatever I ever needed and now I should help them. I don't know anyone else who has to help out their parents at my age. I don't even make that much, minimum wage! Should I give in to them?
2007-08-27 10:49:27 · 12 answers · asked by casaz 1 in Business & Finance ➔ Personal Finance
Unless there is a good reason that your parent need help (major illness or disability) with you just making minimum wage, I do not see how anyone can expect you to assist them. I am sure that you are barely paying your own expenses! Why do you parents need (want) help?
You have to decide what is right for you! You are an adult, and should first and foremost worry about paying your own bills! If you can afford to help your folks, it would be a nice thing to do, but do not let anyone try to make you feel guilty for not doing so.!
2007-08-27 11:09:21 · answer #1 · answered by fire4511 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
give in to them? they are your parents! I have had a difficult relationship with my parents since I was a teenager. Now, at 24 and on the verge of becoming a mom, I am starting to understand where they were coming from all along. My parents have always struggled financially and my mom had too much pride to ask for help. Instead, she went about it all wrong, and stole my identity and really messed up my credit. Since, we have obviously come to blows about the whole thing. Had she gone about it the "right way" and simply asked for help, I would've given her everything I had. They supported you for the last 21 years, the least you can do is give them a hand in their time of need.
2007-08-27 11:05:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
You don't owe them any money, but it's generally good practice to help out your family if you can. I do not think that you should be giving your parents money in your situation; they should repay you.
I would say that it makes sense to loan your parents money for a predefined period (such as a month or two), but only on the following two conditions:
1.) You can afford to loan them money.
2.) They are generally good at repaying loans.
My other rule of thumb when loaning money to friends and family is this: If the money was not repaid, would it ruin the relationship?
If it's enough money that it would lead to resentment or the relationship is already on shaky ground, I won't loan the money. Once my father loaned my uncle half the money for a sailboat. My uncle never repaid him. He decided to "let it go" because his brother was more important to him than the money for the sailboat. My lesson from that story is to never give more than you can forgive.
Regardless, your parents don't need to guilt trip you. Do what you can, but don't let them bully you about it.
2007-08-27 11:32:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
depends there is a big difference between being "soft headed aad soft hearted" i give with my head not my heart -- example if my sister came to be and said her mower was broke and i knew she would pay more to have her grass cut in the long run than what it took to fix her mower i would help out == but if she came and said all she had was beans and corn bread to eat an wanted steak i would tell her to get lost!!!
2007-08-29 10:42:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't help anyone if you can't help yourself. That's been one of the hardest things for me to learn. What you can do is help them get it together. Sounds like they need a little advise. You, most likely, won't be able to help them because of your relationship. Take them to daveramsey.com and offer to help them get out of trouble. Not trying to offend, but it sounds like you could use the site, too.
2007-08-27 11:49:17 · answer #5 · answered by starfishltd 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well they honestly shouldn't be asking you the way they are, but I suppose for them to be asking it has to be bad. But I also don't know your situation. I say, keep what you need to have your bills paid, and food on the table, and whatever you have left, even 20 dollars.. if you can manage to give them it, then give it to them. That atleast will fill up someone's gas tank. I think it's more of the thought that counts, because you don't have that much. I don't think they are expecting that much
2007-08-27 10:57:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 3⤋
well it is not an obligation, but they are your family. show them some compassion in their time of need. if they have worked hard to raise you, then they probably deserve it.
my friend is 16, he works 30-40 hours a week and gives 3/4ths of his income to support his family. i take care of my sister 40 hours per week without any pay so my parents can work again. it's not so bad, it feels good.
2007-08-27 11:01:22 · answer #7 · answered by Zarin A 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You are still young and may not realize that family is important, if you have the means to help them out...then do so.
Dont give them your rent money and get evicted, but if it means you can't go to the bar and get drunk until you get paid you should help. Unless they are using the money to get drunk. Do what you can for them, if they need food go to the store and get them some. You dont have to give them cash....
2007-08-27 10:58:23 · answer #8 · answered by railer01 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Your parents always helped you when you needed it right? Well, maybe now's a good time to help them out. However, if you absolutly don't have the money, then you can't help them.
2007-08-27 11:01:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
My parents provided for me. I've never asked them for money. They never ask me for money (despite declaring bankruptcy), but i did pay half of my fathers' dentures ($2,750) & i give a little extra when i can, sure.
But. When i hear other parents' say that you should, just because they did ..that's not right. Your parents' are diçks.
Do not help them.
2007-08-27 11:01:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋