You are getting very sleeeeepy
dreamy, sleeeeepy, fall asleepy.....
very, very droopy eyed
feeling tired.
Can't keep eyes open,
droopy lids.
A yawn, a bed, enough said,
sleepy, sssleeepy, shhsleeepy.
2007-08-27 10:41:19 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Kevin S from poets press is a bit picky! and.......1,2,3, sleep......
2007-08-27 11:53:56 · update #1
Rules are made for breaking.
2007-08-27 12:10:41 · update #2
It's all sleepy and no poem.
2007-08-27 10:56:57 · answer #1 · answered by Ronnie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is how I'd do it
You are getting very sleep
Drowzy,Dreamy,Sleeeeeeepy
Hypnotic trance and droopy eyed
My brain has just been stupified
Now my eyes begin to droop.
Falling,Closing, Droooooooopy
My nice,warm bed seems very nice
Just fall asleep, take my advice
I love to write =)
2007-08-27 10:55:11 · answer #2 · answered by Forksided 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
best line:.."a yawn, a bed, enough said"
may I suggest last line 1st verse: "tired feely"
You know what is not spot on perfect in anal retentive form, and still vastly popular? ...Teletubbies. Now don't wince, moley. I think they're brilliant for REALLY talking to babies in kidspeak...genius! And that's kind of how I read your poem.
It's charming I fink, and made me tingle...and sleepy. You should write a whole book of these. Children would LOVE
a little blue moley hero. I"M BEING SINCERE!
2007-08-27 12:53:02 · answer #3 · answered by Monsieur Recital Vinyliste 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The poem started out okay for about three three lines...the fourth line would have been better had you extneded it and turned it into a couplet. The next stanza is too weak...doesn't go anywhere...and the internal rhyme in the third line steals all the action. Keep working on it.
2007-08-27 11:43:34 · answer #4 · answered by Kevin S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a night libation? very effective thought. i will fortuitously connect you yet might I be excused to positioned on some mosquito repellent first? it would be effective if those birds you point out alongside with the bats that circle with reference to here in South Texas at night might consume a number of those pesky bugs. Be happy to share a number of my "Deep Woods Off" with you.
2016-10-17 03:38:26 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nighty, Nighty.
Where's my Nightie?
I know it was here last night.
It has Teddy bears,
And bunnies with floppy ears.
A big pink bow
It's my favorite you know.
I have looked everywhere,
Even under the stair,
Gee, it's so cute
But I guess I will have to settle
For my birthday suit
2007-08-28 03:05:49 · answer #6 · answered by Marla ™ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sleep, perchance to dream, for in that sleep of death when we have shuffled off this mortal coil........Wait a sec....I think that was written before by a guy who shook a spear. Anyway, (yawn) What was your question???
2007-08-27 12:55:30 · answer #7 · answered by gldjns 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Granny Crabtree here---please don't submit poems like this , 'coz Pappy snores!
2007-08-27 13:27:51 · answer #8 · answered by Farmer & Granny Crabtree 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do like it. It sounds like it would make a good poem for a children's bedtime book. Cute!
2007-08-27 10:46:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Night night zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
2007-08-27 10:45:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋