If a child is raped...?

Question

and gets pregnant, then the child is not a child. Any female old enough to menstruate and get pregnant is quite capable of taking care of a baby, it's the myth of adolescence that tells us otherwise.

Do you disagree? Why?

**While I do beleive that abortion should be an option for rape victims, and mothers who cannot give birth or they could die, I beleive that even rape victims should have their child and offer it for adoption. There are plenty of people who would love to have a baby and cant.

You can learn about the myth of adolesence here...

www.therebelution.com

I will say that if I were raped, I would indeed have the child, and would indeed keep it. I will also say that, I am 17, and cannot legally adopt a child or trust me, I would, fbecause I know that there are plenty of children waiting for homes. I will allso say that I personally would probably never asopt a baby, because babies are adopted quickly, and therefore do not need me to adopt them. Think about it, for centuries girl were married and have several children by the time they were 15 or 16. I am not necessarily saying that rape victims should not have the opportunity to abort the pregnancy, I am merely saying that a woman old enough to menstruate is indeed old enough to reprodunce, and it is society's fault that she is not mature enough to do so. I'm quite serious about the myth of adolesence. the website I linked to is actually quite a great one, and it does not talk about children having children. that was just my example. I didn't mean any hard feelings, i know i should have...

...used a better example

I thank those of you that answered responsibly. I knew what I said wouldn't be taken well, and only after I said it did I realize I shold have picked a different example. I was still thinking about another question I had read.

jjjjjjjjj found the part of the site that I intended to link to...

http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2005/08/myth-of-adolescence-part-1/

I've seen a lot of wonderful answers, I know most of you desagree with me, and to be honest, I disagree with the way I worded the question as well, but I can't change that. I am going to have trouble choosing a best answer when the time comes, because many of you are making very valid points.

Answer 1

Up until about a century ago wooing a girl when she was around 12 years of age and her marrying by age 14 was quite common. The advent of the Industrial Revolution is what brought about longer lifespans and less need for procreation at an early age, so adolescence was extended by society even though there was no actual physical need for doing so.

This is one thing that gets me when people show such vicious behaviour towards men who find girls of the ages of 12 up attractive. If it was a century ago, which only amounts to a few generations, then there would be no problem. Being attracted to them goes far back. Helen of Troy was only 12 years of age but her face "launched a thousand ships". Denying that there should be an attraction and calling that attraction perverse when that attraction existed as a natural staple of humanity for eons is moronic. The only reason children who have reached the stage of menarche are still considered children today is that we have made them that way, not because they aren't capable of being adults.

The legal of in the UK is still around 16, sometimes as low as 14 and 15. This is because they don't adhere to the myth of adolescence as the questioner puts it.

The people of the USA act as though they are more sophisticated than others in such matters, but are actually more full of pomposity than anything else.


BTW This is the section of that site you should have linked, or at least the part you wanted them to view for debate and reference:

http://www.therebelution.com/blog/2005/08/myth-of-adolescence-part-1/


This would take the people to the relevant part of it that you are speaking of.


Additional: The point she is making, I believe, is that the only reason a person is still considered to be a child or adolescent well beyond the onset of menarche is because society has imposed this upon them, and as I tried to point out this is a very recent development overall. Society, especially that of the USA, hinders the rate at which they reach emotional and mental maturity by prolonging childhood. It isn't that they could not that reach maturity, because they used to and do in other societies. It's that they are kept from it. And since they are kept from it and the society they are in is designed to keep them from it, then they seldom reach that level of maturity as early as they do as that of physical maturity. It's not that the "adolescents" aren't capable, it's that the society they reside in has kept them from becoming capable.

Not much more than a century has passed since people of that age were made wives and starting families, yet somehow within that time this has not only become abnormal but considered to be abhorrent. Something that existed for centuries on end suddenly seems extremely wrong, but not because it inherently is wrong, but because it is chosen to be wrong. This seems nonsensical to me.


As she has pleaded, take away the rape aspect of her question since she herself feels it was a bad example, and concentrate on the myth that has sprung up that adolescence actually really still exists once menarche begins.

Answer 2

I don't believe that we can use puberty and the ability to mestruate/conceive as a determining factor in whether a "child" is now and "adult." While there are many girls who may be physically capable of becoming pregnant, the strain of carrying a child to term could be far to stressful on their still-developing bodies. I don't believe it's a failure of society to treat 12-, 13- or 14-year-olds as adults. Additionally, even if it were a rape situation, a young teen would have to go through a lot of torment for her situation, as very few people would stop to think that she might have been raped, and would assume she is carrying the child only because of her own poor decisions. If I had a girl who was raped at a young age and became pregnant (or became pregnant through her own decisions, for that matter), personally, I would want to let her make the decision on whether or not to abort or have the child, but I would also want her to have full information from a doctor on what the risks would be to her health in carrying the child, and I would have a long discussion with her on how society would view her as a child carrying a child. I don't believe it would make her an adult, but I do believe that even as a child she is old enough to be involved in a decision that is so personal to her.

With that being said, I am very strongly against the "adoption" argument against abortion. While it is true that there are many, many families out there who would love to have children of their own but can't, adoption is an expensive process and not all of those families who would love to have children would even be approved to have them. There are so many children who grow up without homes because they are "too old" or they weren't adopted in that little window of time when they were babies. So I would discuss all options with my daughter - abortion, having the child and working with me (her parents) to raise the child, or offering the child up for adoption - and together we could come to a decision. Because ultimately, whether we describe a young mother as still a child or as an adult, whatever the outcome of the decision is, it is one the woman will have to live with for the rest of her life.

Answer 3

I definitely disagree.

To say pregnancy would make a child no longer a child is as good as saying a broken hymen is a sign that a girl is now an adult woman. Or at least to me. *shrug*

I do think that to a certain extent, young teenagers (I'm thinking maybe 16 and above here) are "quite capable of taking care of a baby", but at what cost? Taking care of a baby requires a lot of effort and time. Are the teenagers to neglect their studies or drop out altogether? Who's gonna be the one bringing in the dough for school fees *and* a baby?

It seems to me that to ask teenagers to take care of their own babies would be equivalent to asking them to give up what's left of their remaining childhood.

Going back to your question... Most girls start menstruating when they're around 12 or 13 years old, and even some as young as 10 (less often, though). They are barely capable of being responsible and taking care of themselves, let alone another young life.

Rape victims already suffer immense trauma from the experience... Do they really need a living reminder in their own bodies for the next eight or nine months? It's a little cruel to *expect* them to carry to full term a baby they did not ask for.

(Edited to add:) Just because you're physically able to reproduce doesn't mean you're mentally prepared for it. Women are marrying later and/or having children at a higher age now. Why's that? Because they've had chances at (higher) education that were previously deemed unimportant for women ages ago. They're less reliant on men, and they are not stuck with the role of a housewife or full-time nurturing mother if they don't want to play that role They now have the chance to pursue a career, to fulfill themselves in other ways than what society used to expect from them. Those girls from centuries ago that you mentioned; they didn't have the same opportunities or chances now, did they?

Answer 4

I agree, partly. Teenagers should be given more responsibilities than they have in modern American society (which I think was your point, rape aside). When I was 14 I thought I could handle more responsibility, and now that I'm 26 I still think I could have handled it when I was 14. 14 year olds were able to behave like adults in past societies, and they are just as capable now.

But some things have changed. Today the best jobs require knowledge of things like calculus, and 14 year olds haven't yet had time to learn that. So as society gets more complicated, it requires more education, which delays the onset of the productive period of life. Plus, in the past people lived with their parents even after they became adults, and the grandparents helped raise their grandkids. Nowadays people move out on their own, and if you're going to do that, you should probably wait longer before having kids.

It's sweet of you to want to adopt a kid, but don't be in too much of a rush. Hopefully you'll live a long life, and you'll have plenty of time to adopt a lot of kids if you want to. If you take a few years in your late teens and early twenties to get a good education and a good job, it'll be worth the time, since it'll be a huge help for the rest of your life.

Also note that rape need not result in pregnancy, since people who are raped can take the morning after birth control pill, and that will prevent them from getting pregnant.

Answer 5

children are CHILDREN. Babies should NOT be having babies. Until you are 18, you cannot enter into legal decisions. I'm afraid the parents make the final decision on abortion or not for their child. It is not HEALTHY for a 13 year old to have a baby. Just because you CAN get pregnant, doesn't mean you SHOULD. The 13 year old would NOT be the parent, because they are STILL the child.

abortion occurs within the first 12 weeks of pregnancy, usually (anything after that, not even *I* condone). It is NOT a baby, it is a ball of cells. If my 13 year old got pregnant, I would probably be depressed because I would have failed as a parent for not teaching my child well enough about the birds and the bees. Sex is a decision that should be made by two parties that UNDERSTAND what they are doing. When I was 13, I didn't fully comprehend what sex was, I didn't need to be having it, so I didn't. When I was 17, I was still young, but I understood and I certainly wasn't a child anymore even though I wasn't an adult yet. But if I DID get pregnant, I could have been held accountable because I accepted responsibility. That is the difference. A child cannot accept responsibility.

Answer 6

I disagree.

Being raped may errode much of the innocence of youth but it does not alter the state of youth. A raped child becomes not an adult woman via the experience of rape, but rather just that -- a raped child, but still a child. A child who has experience severe trauma.

Menstruating and the ability to get pregnant does NOT make one capable of taking care of a baby. It doesn't even make one is physically capable of carrying a child to term or to give birth without serious complications.

Puberty does not make someone mentally mature to rear a child. Or old enough to provide for a child financially.

And as for the abortion aspect, it seems a tremendous burden to as the victim of a violent act, and certainly a child, to concede to devoting the time and energy needed to carry or birth their rapists offspring. I don't think a child should have to suffer this burden for physical and emotional reasons. It's true that many people want children and can't have them but there is no shortage of children looking to be adopted.

----

It isn't society's fault a child is not mature enough to take care of a child. It is situation of being young and not having the life experience necessary to do so.

Answer 7

Just because a girl gets her period doesn't mean she is ready to take care of a baby. First of all, there is a REASON we start getting breasts and hips later on. How many 9-12 year olds have big hips and breasts? I thought so! For example, junior section clothing is for girls who DO NOT HAVE HIPS! Why do we get bigger hips in our late teens and 20s? For bearing children!!!

I personally would never get an abortion. But i have NOTHING against anyone who wants one for the right reasons. It is a personal decision, and they should not be judged for it.

BUT, if i were raped i would get an abortion. I don't know if I could handle the fact that a baby of mine was out there who was created through hate.

And that guy up above is totally right...there are SOOO many children waiting to be adopted..both in the US and abroad..why just add to that?

Answer 8

Why in the hell would you even ask this question?

No, not every female able to menstruate and get pregnant is ready and able to take care of a child.
What about those of us who get our period early? I started when I was 8. Imagine an 8 year old trying to take care of a baby. Thats ridiculous.
Let alone an 8 year old that was raped. They'd probably kill the baby.

I do believe in abortion. If that child is not going to have a good situation any way you slice it, better it not be born at all. Then, just face up to God later. You did what you had to do.

Yeah, sure, there are lots of willing, caring parents out there that would love to adopt a baby, but how many of them really do adopt? And what if your baby isnt adopted when theyre little? Theyve missed their window of opportunity. Everyone usually only wants babies.

I would never put a child through foster care.

Answer 9

My adolescent IS a child. It's no myth. My first clung to her childhood as long as she could.

I don't, as a rule, believe in abortion, BUT if a child is raped, I feel that her life is endangered...both physically and emotionally. I think an abortion is justified in this instance. I'd hope, however, that the alternative birth control pill would be given to her immediately so that abortion wouldn't have to BE a choice for her. Abortion is also psychologically damaging and can be physically dangerous. I'd rather she didn't have to face that either.

As to menstruation. I had my first period at age 11. I was NOT mature enough to be considered an adult. That wasn't society's fault. The idea that our sexualization of young children (which society IS guilty of) is the way that things should be is repulsive to me. Sorry.

Answer 10

Unless you're talking about a tribe in the middle of Africa, I absolutely disagree.

In our society, a child cannot raise a baby and give it all it needs emotionally, physically, financially, etc. Just because a 12 year old gets her period and can physically become pregnant doesn't give her an automatic "mother" card. Giving birth and being a mother are two very different things.

Where would a 12 year old work to make money for shelter, food, healthcare, clothing, etc.?