He is a great kid. He makes good grades, hangs out with a good crowd of kids( and come from families where hair is not an issue), is respectful to his peers and adults, and does what he is told without aguments - for the most part. He is into music and plays the guitar very well. The way he wants to wear his hair is not what His father deems acceptable. I on the other hand don't have a problem with the style he chooses as long as he keeps it neat and his attitude/grades remain positive. His hair has been a big source of upset between him and his dad to the point of a physical blowout. My son has come to me for help (his dad and I have been divorced for 3 years). My son thinks I have just as much say in his hair as his father and for a fifteen year old hair is soooo important otherwise this would be a ridiculous subject. I don't know what to do. His dad always gets what he wants and bully's his way to the top. I don't know how to help or what to say to his dad. Any ideas?
2007-08-27 09:23:07 · 11 answers · asked by Ronda R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It's his hair. He's 15, he should be able to like keep his hair like however he wants.
2007-08-27 09:27:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
At fifteen your son is probably going through loads of things. Peer pressure and independence at probably way at the top.
Imagine, your son probably just wants his hair in a certain way to gain some control and independence in his decisions, it is very important to him. He may end up looking like a total prat (sorry to say) but it'll be a phase that he has to go through.
It's sad that his father has gone to the extent of arguing about it but doesn't it make sense that his father probably sees it as a challenge against him? As in, he loses control over his son as his son gains independence.
I'm not sure how to deal with his father but from experience, I'd let your son do whatever he wants with his hair. After all, it's just a phase, right? Hope that helps.
2007-08-27 16:37:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 15, self image and image among peers rank as high as grades and family relationship. At 15, he's old enough to make his own decisions on his afterschool activities (sports vs math club as an example) as well as his clothes, and his Hair.
You should talk to his father that these superficial things are NOT where his concerns should be but more focus on bigger issues in his teenage years - such as driving a car, drugs, underage drinking, smoking, dating, college, etc. There are sooooo many things that a teenager can fight about with their parents - hair shouldn't be one of them.
As a parent, you should know when to back off and when to take a stand. and thats what you can say to your ex husband.
part of being a parent of an adolescent is growing with your child and knowing when to let go and let a kid be a man and when to step in to be parent!!!
2007-08-27 16:43:23 · answer #3 · answered by G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uh yah. Your 15 yr old should be able to wear his hair however. he is 3 years away from being able to be considered an adult and is not even a year away from being able to drive. Hes not a baby anymore. have the kid get his hair cut when hes with u and do it how he wants. big deal. whats the problem?
2007-08-27 16:34:05 · answer #4 · answered by Lale 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should totally get to be able to decide his own hair style. He is in a part of his life when he needs to try and find himself. It's good that he wants to express himself. By controlling him you are limiting his growth and development as a person. He will not know what to do if you keep controlling him because he hasn't found himself yet. I really hope that I helped.
2007-08-27 16:32:58 · answer #5 · answered by Wyatt K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not say "shut up and sit down"
That's what my Grandmother always told my Grandfather when he was being a jerk..
Hair grows out, you can cut it different way.
Tell his father he is being controlling about something that means nothing..
And when he is older and choosing his nursing home, this is what he will remember, not the car he bought him or the fishing trips, but dad was always a jerk about my hair...
2007-08-27 16:34:37 · answer #6 · answered by Sophie B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hair is such a miniscule thing. You should definitely let hm decide how to wear his hair. It willdefinitely increase his respect for you.
If you telll him he can't change his hair, he will feel "misunderstood" and want to rebel. And from hair, it could go on to big things like tatoos and pircings. So just let him express himself, explore different options, and remember, hair always grows back!
2007-08-28 01:40:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HE SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT KID. I RAISED 3 CHILDREN AND BELIEVE IF HIS HAIR IS THE ONLY PROBLEM YOU HAVE COUNT YOUR BLESSING. IN THIS DAY AN AGE WHEN DRUGS/SEX AND OUTRAGES BEHAVIOR SEEMS TO BE THE NORM. PIC YOUR FIGHTS OVER THE BIG THINGS NOT THE WAY HE EXPRESSES HIMSELF AS LONG AS HE IS NOT HURTING HIMSELF OR OTHERS
2007-08-27 16:34:07 · answer #8 · answered by mj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son sounds like a good kid. Let him wear his hair however he likes it. If his grades and attitude don't change, I don't see any harm in it.
2007-08-27 16:28:20 · answer #9 · answered by my2centsworth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah he is 15 and its only his hair. Let him do whatever he wants with his hair.
2007-08-27 16:33:41 · answer #10 · answered by Rachael H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋