Should I stay or go? My bf and I have been together 3 years, but it's been a rocky relationship. He used to tell me how excited he was about being intimate with me. He used to be more intimate with me period. He also used to call me from work to tell me he loved me, but that dwindled down and hasn't happened recently. I'm 23, btw and am feeling like some women do after a 20 year marriage - unappreciated and put down. He also accused me of being disrespectful because I have not met his brother (who, at 30 yrs old, has come to live with his mother because he can't stay out of jail). I have not only not met him because I don't want to, but also due to the fact that I work and attend a university. On my days off, I want to relax - not meet some jail bird who I don't know/care about. I also feel like we're a married couple because I can't stand the rest of his family - I've had the in-law experience and it sucks. Not to mention he has a kid and a crazy ex who uses their son for her benefit.
2007-08-27 08:31:08 · 10 answers · asked by 80schick 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are going to hate me for this answer; however, grow up or get out. If you cant handle the situation then get out. You sound very spoiled and in a "its all about me" phase of life. If you truly love someone you make an effort, even if you dont want to. And the in-law situation isnt going to change, so you will ahve to make a choice.
2007-08-27 08:39:19 · answer #1 · answered by Qyllix 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are really unhappy. The good news is that you are not married, it does make it a little less complicated to leave. If you are already feeling like this now, then maybe you should reconsider things. He might be a great guy, but if you don't think that there is a chance that you can get back to the place where you were three years ago, then is he THE GUY for you? Think about that. Do you want out now, or do you want to work on this relationship so that you can spend forever with him?
2007-08-27 16:06:57 · answer #2 · answered by CuitePie 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like what you guys thought was love was just the luster of someone new, and over time the shine has worn off. That is why marriage is so hard. We take a couple of years to attempt to get to know someone and then try to make a decision on whether or not we should spend the rest of our lives together. Is it enough time? When is enough time? No one knows and it varies for everyone. So what you should do is whatever will make you happy. Yes, if you leave it will hurt for a while, but just like all pain it will end, and then you can be happy. Who knows you may be happy immediately with all of the stress off of you. It is up to you.
2007-08-27 15:57:41 · answer #3 · answered by No one 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi BH,
If you are considering staying with this person, you should be able to answer the following questions for yourself ;
1. are my needs being met by this person?
2. do we have common goals, work together to achieve them?
3. do we respect each other, communicate well?
4. can I meet his brother, since it is important to him?
5. can I get along with his family, enjoy holidays and visits?
6. if we have children together, is this the family environment I want for my child?
7. is he supportive in my work and education?
8. can I handle the situation with his child and unstable ex?
9. will be be supportive when I finish school and start my career?
10. if we have a child together, can I count on him to be involved and responsible and respectful?
if you answer NO to more than 4 of these, it's best if you leave right away.
2007-08-27 16:24:11 · answer #4 · answered by yoak 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gosh girl, You're 23. Just Dump him! I know 3 years seems like a lot but when you look back on it he won't matter at all. Trust me find someone who is worth your time.
2007-08-27 15:38:32 · answer #5 · answered by Meichelle 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you already know the answer to this question and just need some reassurance. You only live once...You might as well live happy! Good luck
2007-08-27 15:38:14 · answer #6 · answered by Alissa 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Too much drama and baggage with this guy. You're young, and it's been 3 years. It's going nowhere but down, you just have accept it and move on.
2007-08-27 15:36:04 · answer #7 · answered by ron-D 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
well, hon.. take care of YOU.. do what you feel is in your best interest for the LONG TERM....
his family and his ex sounds like they could use some work.
remember you can't fix them, and they probably won't change.
2007-08-27 15:43:04 · answer #8 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dump him and find a single guy who wants to be committed to you in marriage.
2007-08-27 15:37:24 · answer #9 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are #1 dont you think you deserve more love and less stress and drama ? dang girl, get him out of your life or you wont have one.
2007-08-27 15:54:42 · answer #10 · answered by georgia k 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋