How do I get him to trust me?

Question

have been married 11 yrs now 3 and a half years ago I almost left my husband for a man i met online I also told him I was not sure I love him because he has always been a bit controling. I know now I do love him I tell him every day I gave up several friends and several games I was playing and have been trying to prove he can trust me but he still does not how do I get him to trust me? The only game I have left we play together. I also work a full time job and take care of our kids. I want his trust back and he says we don't need counseling.. help please?

Also he calls me sometimes saying he feels like I'm doing something wrong and I'm not. I'm so frustrated. I feel like I am trying and changing for nothing because it makes no difference.

Answer 1

You will have to give him Time,Time is the only thing that will better the situation. who said it would be easy!
have a little patience with him, just continue to show him how much you love him. It is time to explore with him.do things you have never done with him, whether if it a new couple cooking class, indoor rock climbing, learn something new with him (learning annex course) adopt a new skill, ask him what he will be interested in exploring!!! he has to become your best friend again. take a Surprise candlelight dinner and play dress up, HE WILL SEE IT!!!

Just like you would hang out with your girlfriend, you have to hang out with you man like that, too.Just remain consistant!!!Understanding and Communication is the Key.

He definitley has to stop , what is done is done. he chose to stay with you, he has to work with you too.
I find people that are controling love attention.

You can do it, it will work out.=)

Answer 2

You seem to be trying on his account and not your own. I am not sure if you're sincere or not. I know from experience that loyalty is the most valued quality that a man expects from a woman. I have been in his situation and this is the hardest thing to accept. You have created the mis-trust, so it is only right that you bear the brunt of your infidelity. I heard something in church last Sunday regarding anger and resentment. He feels you owe him a debt, so he must relieve you of your debt through forgiveness. Until then, you both will slowly be eaten away like cancer. Ask him to relieve you of your debt.

Answer 3

He trusted you for 8 years and then you did betray his trust by almost leaving and telling him you are not sure about your love for him. I would say another 5 years would get you even to where you were before you betrayed him. Its a long road to EARN trust back.

Answer 4

I don't think there is anything eles you can do for him to trust you. It sounds like to me that you have done everything you can. That is so good of you. But I think it is up to him now. I know this is frustrating to you but the ball is in his court!!! Sucks don't it!! Been there done that!! Good luck to ya and just keep trying is all you can do!!

Answer 5

you can't make him trust you. that's a decision he will have to make. you can make sure you have done everthing you can do, which includes asking him if you are doing everything you can to try to get him to trust you again. at some point, if he decides to stay in the marriage, he needs to also put some work into trying to get the trust re-established.

Answer 6

Sounds like you have been working hard to regain his trust and that is commendable. If he is comfortable with things, then you should be fine. He is learning to trust you again, learn to trust him as well. Best of luck!!

Answer 7

YOu shouldn't chat online with men. I knew this would happen sooner or later. Be sure to file letters of incorporation. eharmony works best.

Answer 8

Leave him..