Long story quick: My husband was deported 2 years ago and now isn't coming back. The process will take a while. I've been faithful all this time, but now I'm ready to move on and meet some new people. Is there a way to explain this to prospective dates without scaring them off? Or should I even mention it? Or?...
2007-08-27 08:14:44 · 18 answers · asked by Getsbetterwithtime 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes we married for love. No I'm not having casual, or any sex at all for that matter. And El Salvador is too poor and corrupt to move there with my children. I've done all the work and paid all the fees to immigration, but my husbands not doing his part. He just sits and does nothing, waiting for me to send more money. That's not what marriage is about. If he's not trying now, if/when he comes back he'll do the same. I want out! In the meantime I'm lonely. But I guess like someone else said, I waited this long, I guess I can wait longer...
2007-08-27 20:48:35 · update #1
I dated when my marriage was over, but the divorce hadn't been granted yet. Technically, its not ok to date when still married. Realistically, marriages end before the paperwork comes through and a lot of people date while waiting for the divorce to be final.
I would be upfront and open with any dates. Just tell the same short version you have told us. Your in the process of a divorce and your husband is living in another country and not returning. You are just waiting for the paperwork to get the divorce finalized, but you are now ready to move on. Nothing wrong with that.
I dated while seperated and waiting on my divorce. During that time, I met the man of my dreams. We dated and then lived together for a few years until the divorce was finalized. Two months after the divorce, we married and have been happy together ever since.
2007-08-27 08:26:28 · answer #1 · answered by Melanie J 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If your maiden name is the name that you generally go by, then use that on the addresses. A growing number of women keep their maiden name legally/professionally but use their husband's name socially (a good friend of mine is "Ms. Fisher" at the office and on her driver's license, "Mrs. Barrett" on invitations and to her friends), so there is no reason why you can't do the opposite. Obviously your legal last name will be on your marriage license because that is a legal document. But your invitation envelopes are not a legal document and you can go by whatever name you want.
2016-04-02 02:00:43 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are in the process of getting divorced , I won't suggest you to date anyone. A judge may be not see that appropriate, or if your husband finds out,that could complicate your case. I suggest you to talk to an immigration attorney. I'll ask you, if he was deported, why you won't help him to get his case reopen and may be in time, he could become legal? Or why you don't visit him, wherever he's at? Being deported does not mean that you have to get divorced, unless you did not marry for love.
2007-08-27 10:44:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would wait until the divorce is finalized, simply because you want to meet quality men and perhaps if they know you're still technically married, they might get the wrong idea.
You've waited this long, wait a little longer.
2007-08-27 08:31:43 · answer #4 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think it's immoral, if that's what you're asking. But you will want to check with your attorney because different states have different statutes pertaining to this. As far as explaining to potential dates, just say you are in the process of getting divorced. You need to be honest about it. Most guys I've met have no problem with it.
2007-08-27 08:41:30 · answer #5 · answered by meagain 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He was deported and that was just the end of your marriage? You've talked since then right? You don't want to try to make it work? Maybe go to where he is to be with him?
Anyway, to answer your question, if you're sure you don't want to be with him and he knows this, date all you want. The people you date should probably be informed but, I wouldn't discuss that on the first date unless they ask questions. Then just be honest. I'm sure they'll understand.
2007-08-27 08:22:17 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
when you date, you dont' have to sit and explain your life and past.. in fact it's a turn off... there would be time for that later, if you moved to another leve.
do you feel you are prepared to date? if you don't feel you want another serious relationship right now, make it CLEAR to those you go out with.
maybe you need time to adjust and to heal also?
take care and sending hugs.
2007-08-27 08:21:45 · answer #7 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's a weird situation. In general, i'd say wait until the divoroce is over to start dating, but your case seems a bit different. I really don't know.
2007-08-27 08:26:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should definately mention it -- it gives people the option of continuing, or of waiting until you are actually divorced. Be honest and open, and let it go from there.
2007-08-27 08:19:27 · answer #9 · answered by kelannde 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I find it odd that you are concerned with the ethical parameters of dating while your divorce is pending, yet you don't share that same resolve when it comes to the sanctity of your marriage. I maybe mis-judging you, but it did occur to me.
2007-08-27 08:57:47 · answer #10 · answered by diamondbullet66 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋