Why is marriages now adays don't means anything?

Question

because i know when people get married they should respect the vows they've taken,now i'm hardly seein' this these days,what happen to love and to cherish?

Answer 1

People think when they get married they are still dating, and feel they can still do what they want to do. People need to understand that marriage is hard work and both parties need to keep working at it everyday. Too many times couples lay back and expect it to work but it doesn't work that way. You need to have love, respect, honesty and understanding every day of your marriage.

Answer 2

There is no one easy answer for this sweetie. There are several factors involved. The three that come close to mind are

1- Women are less tolerant of men's mistakes and more able to be independent and leave.

My gran stayed with my gramps through cheating, abuse and a loveless marraige. But women of the 80s, 90s and present are not like the women long ago. We want our happiness too. We want more out of life. We want sexual fulfillemnt and we are not as long suffering as women past. Even though we have changed a great deal, men have not changed all that much. So many men are finding that being complacent, cheating, insensitive or not providing are INSTANT deal breakers and women can and will divorce because we have more education, ambition and can stand alone without a man. In my grandmother's day a woman was NOTHING unless she had a husband. Today it is not so.


2.- Getting married too young for all the wrong reasons

Do you know the majority of divorces happen in Christian families. Texas has the highest divorce rate of any US state and evangelicals and Southern Baptists have the most divorces of any religious group.

Perhaps the no sex before marriage thing makes young people get married to the first person they want to have sex with, far too young. Only later they realise they are not compatible. In many cases, no amount of marriage counselling can work to help these couples.

3- General selfishness

People these days are all about "me". We have lost that ability to truly compromise and in marriage that is invaluable. We have become a lot more self-serving and insular. So its harder to let another person dictate our lives to some extent and that is exactly what happens when you get married.

With all that being said, it is far better for a couple to divorce than to raise kids in a loveless marriage or worse yet one with abuse of any kind. My gran staying with her terrible husband for over 50 years because she had not choice and then "for the sake of the kids" did more harm than good.

Every single one of her children had terrible marriages as a result. So I say, "Get out and get happy so you can be a better parent to your children.". You cannot raise kids when you are unhappy in a marraige.

Answer 3

So many people grew up in families where the parents SHOULD have divorced but didn't... stayed together for the kids or whatever, but made everyone's lives miserable because 20 or 30 years divorce was still frowned on. And they don't want to make the same mistakes their parents made. Do some people throw in the towel too early? Sure. But mostly I think people realize that life is too short to be that unhappy all the time. And if your spouse isn't willing to work on things, to seek counseling, etc., it's better to cut ties than to waste your life and your kids' lives on something that doesn't work.

Answer 4

We live in a society that expects instant gratification. If things do not work out, everything is disposable and replaceable. I personally believe that there are only 2 valid reasons for divorce, adultery and domestic violence.

There used to be an old saying, "Good things come to those who wait". No relationship is easy. It takes hard work on both parts. If you ask anyone that has had a long term marriage, you will find that not everything is always perfect and they worked through lots of issues.

I hope that this helps you understand.

Answer 5

It is rare, but it is OUT HERE! There ARE people who respect their vows, and who stay faithfully married "till death do us part". Nowadays, people think it is COOL and "in" if they share their spouse, or cheat on them. But, these people do not understand the depth of true love, and have probably never even experienced it. We have to feel sorry for these people because they will never know contentment and peace and joy. Those who understand the marriage committment build a strong, life-long relationship.
Believe me, there are solid, happy marriages out here!

Answer 6

Marriage is the same as it was hundreds of
years ago, it's the people that have changed and
the majority do not want to make that committ-
ment that is necessary to stabilize the marriage.
Marriage is about two people and if only one is
committed and responsible then it never will
work, and that is why there are so many divorces
today because too many 1sided marriages.

Answer 7

The problem is we are getting married for all the wrong reasons. We meet someone and in a short time, think they are the one, and it's not until they are married, that they find out that they really don't know the person they married.

Answer 8

I think they mean the same as before. I think people just stayed in unhappy marriages much more before because the woman didn't have much choice.
I really don't think there was a whole lot more "love & cherishing" going on in the past.

Answer 9

There are good marriages all around. You just don't hear about them. You hear about the horror stories. Too many forget that marriage isn't meant to be some spectacle, it's merely the best way humans have found to live and raise families. That's as true today, as it was a thousand years ago.

Answer 10

Sometimes people marry for the wrong reasons it is about respect for one another they are not taking their marriage vowels seriously. Marriage is not to be entered into likey that means know why you are getting married and make sure that you are both on the same accord.