I am a devout Catholic, and have been married for 1 year. My husband has been wanting me to do things in bed.?

Question

He wants me to ********. I am not comfortable doing this but have done it anway because I wanted to please him. Although I think this is against my beliefs. I am a devout Catholic and don't know if this is against my religion. I am kinda innocent when it comes to these things. My question now is, what should I do? Sex is a sacred thing that a married couple share, so I am not sure if this is right.

Answer 1

I was raised Catholic, so I know about the type of hang-ups you are describing. However, the only thing that Catholicism strictly prohibits is premarital sex - since you are already married, your sex life is now up to you. You can do whatever you want- really, it's OK. If you are still unsure, ask your priest during confession.

On the other hand, if the reason you don't want to do something is not for religious reasons - you just don't want to do it, don't let him pressure you. Sex should be fun and voluntary, and you shouldn't have to do anything you feel uncomfortable with.

Answer 2

I personally don’t know nor I care about what any religion says about anything. Before you go to the next answer, read this.

If you really care about yourself, your husband, and your family, and you understand what is good and what is bad, then you don’t need any religion, or any legal law to be a good person and do the right thing. Iti s usually called common sense.

Now, when it comes to your marriage, sex and anything else you do with your husband should be a mutual agreement. Nobody thinks or feel the same, so the key is to keep good communication, and let each other know how you feel and what things you like, what you don’t like, and what you are willing to try.

Don’t forget, we all make sacrifices too and is also essential for a good relation. If you make sacrifices for your husband and you family and you don’t expect anything in return, you are doing something very good and no matter what religion you are, if there is a God somewhere, then is looking good at you.

It doesn’t mean you will go and do anything he asks for, and even more when it comes to sex. But you can try some new things, and if you don’t think you like it, then let him know! If he is a good person, he should understand and never ask you for it again. This should work either way and not just for you.

Following any religion without thinking about it, makes you a slave and a being without a soul. Don’t forget the Bible was written over 2000 years ago. Following that book (or any other ancient book) without interpreting those words and applying it to today’s life is a mistake and could lead you to divorce and pain. Again, use common sense and follow your heart (which is your brain at the end) and you should be fine.

Good luck, and do me a favor, and live life fullest, don’t let religion and old books make you miserable.

Answer 3

Well, since Yahoo! blocked out whatever you said he wanted you to do, let me say this.

You are right. Sex is sacred in the marriage. Barring relations with animals and children and homosexual acts, there is nothing else prohibited by the Bible in the bedroom of a married couple. So put your mind at ease, when you do something new, God is not frowning on that act. One of the main purposes of sex is to bring the two of you together and give you pleasure.

The key is, do what you are comfortable with. Now that does NOT mean get into a comfort zone and stay there. That is one reason why marriages have problems and spouses get bored. But expand your horizons a little. If your husband is wanting something in particular, go to the book store and read up on it. READ, READ, READ, and maybe even watch videos. Nina Hartley has some excellent training vidoes out there which cover a variety of topics for new and different "options" in the bed room. There is also the "Better Sex" video collection. Knowledge is power.

So, knowing that you are not violating your religion should give you the green light to explore other options than just the standard missionary.

Role-play, BDSM, and other fantasies all can add new excitement to your love-life. But be honest with your husband and tell him your feelings. Bargain with your husband by telling him that you are willing to be more open to try new things IF he will research them WITH YOU and respect your boundaries. As your trust for him in this area, you will feel more comfortable to open up to new things.


Good Luck!

Answer 4

Sweetie...*sigh*
These are the things that have men running to look for
other woman.
Number 1, did you tell your husband BEFORE
you married him that your didn't feel comfortable doing certain things in the bedroom?
Number 2, what a married couple do in the bedroom is no
ones concern OR have anything to do with religion.
As long as your not cheating then your not breaking any commandments.
Number 3, EVERYTHING YOU DO WITH YOUR HUSBAND IS RIGHT! Its just a matter of if you enjoy it or not!
Number 4, does your husband pleasure you in every way?
Why can't you do it for him?
Number 5, Try new experiences...you never know you might enjoy it! Plus it keeps your husband happy.
FEEL instead of think about what your doing.
You're putting WAY too much thought into it.
You should be able to be free and feel good with
your husband.
Number 6, last but certainly not least, what you won't do another woman WILL!!!

My advice is to talk about the things that makes you uncomfortable and find out why your uncomfortable with your husband. Ask your husband to start by going slowly with you but your willing to try and if you REALLY don't like then tell him. He's just going to have to understand.
But you HAVE to meet your husband half way.

I hope this helps...good luck!

Answer 5

You need to take a close look at your religion. As a devout catholic you should not use birth control, especially condoms yet the vatican owns the largest condom factory in Europe. They rail against porn yet in my home town, as in many cities, the church owned the property where the biggest porn theater and porn book store in the city was on, and collected rent for 20 years never looking for other tenents. Your religion doesn not say you should or should not do anything. A lot of guys will quill pens and attitudes said it though. If you were to get a very old bible, and could get it translated, it would tell you that you could not have sex with your husband EXCEPT for the purposes of procreation - couldn't have it for fun - and when you did you would have to have a priest present. That is your religion. You need to do some serious thinking.

Answer 6

I was raised Catholic and attended Catholic school from grade one through grade eight (from 1960 to 1968). I was active in the church all the way through high school.

At no time did anyone tell me that there "forbidden sex acts". They told us over and over again that sex was for husbands and wives for the purposes of reproduction and marital satisfaction. No one ever said any consensual acts were off-limits.

I agree with you, by the way. Sex is a sacred thing shared by a married couple. He should share his body with you and you should share yours with him. As long as you both enjoy it, go for it!

I bet if you ask your priest, he will give you the same answer.

Answer 7

If your husband want you to do things in bed that your not comfortable with than don't do it. I am not gonna do anything i don't want to do in the first place to please someone. Tell me is your husband devout catholic you haven't mention this at all , i don't want to jump the gun but sometimes you do marry people with out your belief ts and this causes trouble for you. Do what makes you happy
best of luck

Answer 8

Relax. Feel free and do it if you enjoy it. You are Catholic...go to confession, talk about it and I am sure it will probably only be about 3 Hail Marys and 4 Our Fathers and then boom....you are forgiven. Just joking about that, but I believe if it is done for the right reasons then it isn't a sin.

Answer 9

I would cast religion to the way side when it comes to pleasing each other in bed. It is good to be religious and have a strong faith, however it is also important to keep your husband happy in the bed room. More marriages fail because of these types of problems. I am sure that what he is asking for is fine.. little stars is all I saw....hopefully you will see them tonight as you jump into bed with him guilt free.

Answer 10

God is concerned with how we treat each other.

We have been instructed to love
+ Our neighbor as we love ourselves
+ One another as Jesus loved us

When we treat each other like sex objects, when sex is taking instead of giving, we damage the human dignity of both our partner and ourselves.

True giving of yourself to another in a sacramental marriage is what love is all about.

Marriage is a symbol of God's creation of the world in an act of divine love and self-outpouring.

Marriage is a symbol of the love, commitment, intensity, and passion of Christ for the Church for which He laid down His life.

Christians take sex very seriously because it is a glorious gift from God that lets us feel just a bit like God. We become lovers, givers, and creators.

The Catholic Church does not have an official stance which types of sex are allowable when a man and woman are married as long as it is consensual and done in moderation.

The purpose of sex is to bring a husband and wife closer and to create human life.

However if your husband is asking you to do things with which you are not comfortable then he is not loving you as he should. He is using you as a sex object instead of treating you as his beloved spouse.

You need to talk to him honestly about your feelings.

With love and prayers in Christ.