TOP FIVE Challenge?

Question

Give me your TOP FIVE responses to the following:

Reasons to give your kids for NOT letting them have a puppy.

[ I don't want serious answers. The category is WordPLAY, so have fun! ]

Answer 1

1. Honey, now you know we're Korean...
2. Sorry, but your daddy doesn't like puppys ever since l'il bosco got the devils lemonade in his keyboard while he was going for top contributor in words and word play.
3. We just had puppy last night!
4. You must understand if I buy you a puppy it won't stay that way and you know how you hate dogs, remember when I told you about the boy that was eaten by the dog and how you shake with fright whenever you see a dog and then they bark at you?
5. I think we should watch a little movie together first. it's called "A Cry in the Dark."
6. But Bobby, you're a parapalegic, how are you going to take him for walkies?
7. Well Jimmy, Our house was built over a graveyard and who knows what he might dig up.
8. Okay, but he gets your room and your food and we'll keep you chained up in the backyard and you'll eat kibbles out of a bowl on the ground.
9. Now Bartholomew, you killed your baby sister in the first week, I don't think we can trust you with a puppy.
10. Shut up and be happy with your pet cockroach you little brat!

Answer 2

Here are a few that I hope you like:

1) Puppies make poopy so their diapers get droopy.

2) The cat in the hat spat when the puppy shat, so that's that!

3) Puppies are pretty when they are pet
But they will give you rabies if you get them wet.

4) I once got a puppy who slept in my bed
When I woke up I was missing my head.

5) Don't get a puppy if you have a kitty
They'll have a baby that won't look very pretty!

Answer 3

Years before Snow White showed up, there used to be Twelve Dwarfs. Who were the other five we don't know about and what happened to them? Well, there was Sleepy, Sneezy, Happy, Grumpy, Dopey, Bashful, and Doc. but, the others? They were appropriately named: Gabby, Slutty, Crazy, Hyper and Wits. Gabby -- made use of the gift of loquacity, and went on to pursue a career as a talk show host. Slutty -- couldn't control herself and left to live in a brothel. Crazy -- was delusional and thought he was the president and was 302'd. Hyper -- went on to train for the Olympics.... winning the Gold in the mens 100 metre dash. and Wits -- Wits went on to law school and now acts as the Dwarf's attorney.

Answer 4

Puppy Stew is not for You

Puppy? I thought you said you wanted to get 'poopy'

The cat paid us off

Local ordinances say only two dogs to a family . . . and since you two evil step-sisters moved in, well we're at the max.

It's actually spelled Pup-pee . . . and for this reason, no dog