Cheating Wife???

Question

My wife has been talking with this guy over the phone and online I found some profound emails exchanged, spoke to her about it and she promised not to call him again or contact him...well she never did!
Should I let her fool me for another empty promise or simply dump her? any other sugestions????

Answer 1

How long have you been married? Do you have any kids?

As a woman I would not give my husband the chance to cheat again. I am sure alot of woman disagree with me and say you can forgive, but I think once someone breaks that seal of marriage and cheats they can be tempted again. Did she actually (physically) commit adultry? or was it more just emotionally/online and on the phone?
If it was the later, then she is lacking some self assurance, lacking the love she is seeking, not saying you dont show her, but maybe she seeks more, maybe she needs to feel appreciated, feel that she is beautiful, desired ect...
But if she actually physically cheated then I would (personally) would leave.

Answer 2

Well we are going through the same problem. My husband and I just got married in June and well there was this so called "friend" that he was communicating with. I didnt have a problem with him conversating with her because I have a male bestfriend. My bestfriend and I never had feelings for one another. I found out after they started communicating that my husband and his "bestfriend" did have feelings before. Well he promised me that he wasnt going to call her or anything. He also promised that he wasnt going to email her...so what I decided to do was add a keylogger to the computer. I can screen his cell phone calls because I am the one who pays the bill and look at all of his outbound and inbound calls...but back to the keylogger...not sure how much you know about it..but it works!! Anything he types in..all the websites he goes too..I get to see!! It is hidden so he doesnt know when it is running. It doesnt show up in the program list or anything...It is completely invisible. So far he has kept his promise and not contacted her. Maybe you should give her a chance also...Now if you get this keylogger and catch her again...make sure you print it out just incase she starts to lie..but give her a chance until then..i mean after all she is your wife not your girlfriend!

Answer 3

You said she did not call him again or contact him after she promised not to.
So?
Now you can settle down to the task of finding out what she was seeking - or at the very least, work a bit harder on making your marriage better.
Since everyone deserves a second chance, give her one. You'd beg for the same if you were in the same situation. It is your marriage, not your steady from high school you're dealing with here!

Answer 4

I take it she is still talking to this guy after promising not to. Well, sounds like shes going after greener pastures. Once the trust is gone I dont beleive there can be a relationship without some serious work....But just in case you do dump her would it be okay if I called her? Lol

Answer 5

I don't know if I would call writing on this cheating I think cheating goes a bit father than talking. But maybe your wife is starved for affection are you giving your all to make her feel important and wanted? Many times when people don't get the attention needed from the one they are with if someone else gives them that attention it draws you in with out you having any intentions of acting on it. Talk to her and see if she needs you to be more attentive to her and her needs. Lots of times marriage falls apart because of not showing love to the other person. Not that you don't love anymore it just that we become to comfy and don't give all like in the dating process. So good luck and hope things work out for you if you truly love her then it should be worth fighting for.

Answer 6

This is a decision that none of us can help you make. Some people say once a cheater always a cheater, but there are people who have cheated and never did it again. You two need to try and see a marriage counselor, there is more than likely a problem between the two of you and it made her reach out for somone else.

Answer 7

You shouldn't dump her, that's the easy way out. You get married because you want to be with that person forever. That's why you have to take the good with the bad. You're going to encounter problems. If you can't get over it maybe you all should seek counseling. Divorce is never the first answer.

Answer 8

Only you really know the answer to this. You know your wife best. Do you believe her to be sincere? If you feel that your relationship is worth saving then counselling would be a step forward. If she's done this before then she probably has issues that she'll need to work out (again a therapist) then you two could figure out whether to continue or not.

Answer 9

Are these message in any way sexual context to where an affair could materialize ? Is there any trust in her ? Ask her what she intends to do in this relationship ? ask her if she wants to move on let her go. But trust and honesty is not there any more. Have a good mello chat and then you figure it out. some time it is better to move on, instead of just wondering what is she up to all the time Good luck

Answer 10

You have already talked to her and the problem was solved. You can not spend the rest of your relationship looking for her to do something else wrong. You will miss out on the rebuilding process. There was a problem, your two discussed it, you apparently forgave her, and now you two need to focus on healing together. Don't give up so easy. Good Luck.