He mentioned something last night about something he had seen on facebook. I didn't know he had a facebook - nor did our daughters. One of them immediately said, "Oh - Dad, can I add you?" and he said, "Uh...oh... sure." So she did and she later looked up his profile and showed me.
He has a particularly good looking photo and a lot of information about himself. It seemed to me that he went out of his way to make himself sound wealthy and exciting. For instance, he put down things that he has dabbled in years ago, but doesn't actually pursue (like sailing and flying) as his hobbies. He also listed our home address.
However, in all of this detail, he had absolutely NO MENTION that he was married or a father. (He didn't say he was single, he just avoided the whole question. BTW, we've been together for 17 years.)
I think this could be trouble.
I haven't said or done anything, and I'm not into spying or playing games. What do you think I should do?
2007-08-27 05:50:01 · 25 answers · asked by ceezee 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like trouble to me, especially the avoidance bit
Most Facebook users are teens or in their 20s or 30s. Majority are single, I think (that has to say something). People in their 40s are so so so rare, and the fact that he's joining at this age, when men are said to be most likely to be having extramarital affairs....is he showing any signs of boredom with your marriage?
Oh, and you know, the married people I know on Facebook have their spouses added to their friends list as well and their status usually reads: "Married to [insert name here]"
But he doesn't....sounds VERY VERY suspicious to me
Why don't you join, add him, and ask him to adjust his marital status so that it shows on your profile and on his that you are both married to each other??
Watch his facial expression very carefully when you ask...Any reluctance/uneasiness/evasiveness and you'll know he's up to no good
Trust your instincts
And personally, I don't think dads and/or men in their 40s belong on Facebook
2007-08-27 06:10:10 · answer #1 · answered by Refaat 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, I'm not into spying either, but when my gut instinct tells me something I will pursue until I feel satisfied. If I were you I would set up an account under an alias, and get a hot young girls photos and add him as a friend and send messages to him, and see how far he would go. If you plan to do this make sure you go all the way, and dont give up or confront him over messages. You want concrete proof like him showing up at a hotel or for a lunch date. That way you can confirm your feelings about him being unfaithful. I rather know now then later. FACEBOOK IS FOR YOUNG COLLEGE STUDENTS! or get some spyware so you can check all his outgoing messages and passwords!
2007-08-27 06:00:37 · answer #2 · answered by They Love ME......... 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I haven't heard of "facebook" but other similar websites are set up for looking for people. For what reason?????is he looking for people that he doesn't have his family on the site? That, after 17 years of being with this man is what you need to ask. I would suggest to "not be confrontational", just bring it up casually at the dinner table, or in a public place where you might be eating, usually they don't make a scene in front of kids or strangers. No, it is not something normally you would bring up in front of kids, but you did say your daughter brought it to your attention, just don't mention how you know about it. I would not jump to conclusions and stir up a whole argument over it. I, although, have recently gone to classmates.com to find old friends and put my marriage of 34 years, children and grandchildren and my husband knows it and has password if he ever decided to look. Your husband sounds like he might have interests that he would like to pursue and since he hasn't in awhile, maybe you could pursue those with him, sailing etc...Good Luck!
2007-08-27 06:03:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't worry too much about it if this is the only sign you have noticed. When I first got into the internet 7 years ago it made me feel young and hip and my yahoo profile didn't mention my wife or kids, but after a while I lost interest and never did anything. I would monitor it but not confront him on it, it's ok for guys to try to feel young as long as they don't act on it. Don't over react and give him space, life is too short. Tell you daughter to send him a message to take your address off the page though for everyone's safety.
2007-08-27 09:13:50 · answer #4 · answered by Billy Voltaire 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When people are deceptive, there is a good reason. The reason usually is that they have something to hide. He is looking for something that will be difficult to find if he advertises that he is married and a father of two. Now what do you think he is looking for?
Being a pilot or sailing are sexy past times. I think your comment about this being trouble is an understatement.
Good Luck!
2007-08-27 05:55:53 · answer #5 · answered by Willie J 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I disagree with the others here. He put his home address down. His children know what he's up to. That doesn't sound like he's shopping to me... it also isn't very smart on his part either He's probably just looking to have some fun and make his middle aged self look " grand" or " wordly". If some woman suggested hooking up, he'd probably wet himself. If he starts keeping strange hours, pays more attention to what he's wearing, changes his cell number.... that's when you start worrying. Not before. Stay cool.
2007-08-27 06:03:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can certainly meet a virgin yet she would be waiting to be a minimum of 20 years youthful than him. i won't think of a woman around his age who's a virgin. not that i'm asserting they don't exist, yet whilst they do, they're probably to be women folk who do not probably have a great number of a typical social life. I want him sturdy success besides.
2016-10-03 07:34:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him, say you were checking on your daughter's account to see what she was up to and saw that they were 'buddies' or whatever it's called, and you read his profile and that you were really hurt to see that he made no mention of his wife or kids. And then ask him if he's mad at you or angry or if you've been neglectful. Don't get all defensive and angry, and be open to the possibility that you have not given him enough attention, that you maybe have neglected him, that perhaps in all the business of raising a family etc, he's been left out. Then see what you can do to repair it.
2007-08-27 06:03:31 · answer #8 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You think that this could be trouble? Ya think??? He is on the prowl and looking for someone to cheat with. He didn't mention that he was married for a reason. Why in Gawd's name did he put down your home address? I would demand that he either get rid of this facebook page or seriously alter it.
2007-08-27 05:56:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Delete it....Seriously, being married or being single is usually the FIRST thing people pursuing a relationship will ask....so why is that not on there??? I thought facebook was for teenagers and college kids by the way, not grown men with families......
2007-08-27 05:54:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋