My husband is a pornography addict who gratifies his sexual urges through masturbation,leaving me sexually frustrated on bed.This habit of his is seriously impacting our relationship which is almost on the verge of termination. I'm completely perplexed about how to react to this.I'd highly appreciate any type of counselling on this
2007-08-27 05:16:57 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You don't need counselling. He probably does though! I suggest you tell him what you have told us. He either stops and pays you attention, or you are leaving him. But don't say it if you don't mean it. I left my previous husband for the same reason.
2007-08-27 05:24:10 · answer #1 · answered by Caroline 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Its not that serious problem, keep patience and u will be out of this problem u can follow these steps:
1. U didn't tell since when have u been married, this might help understand the situation but anyway.
2. I think that ur husband may not be satisfied by u, don't take it otherwise but their are way that can bring turbulence back into ur married life.
3. At night u can dress up like the females do in the BFs and pornography, just do it because all u do would be to save ur marriage and for ur husband.
4. Keep on flirting with him, never leave even a single chance never mind where u are and what ur doing.
5. U can bring magic back to ur marriage by having oral sex, sex on back seat of the car, or some thing same.
6. Simultaneously keep analysing what exactly ur husband need, by this I mean this might help u understand his behavioural pattern, if possible take him to a Psychologist, this will help u more.
Anyway all the very best to u in ur endeavour.
2007-08-27 05:47:16 · answer #2 · answered by rohit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people think that pornography "is harmless" and that it is "what all men do". I disagree with this....My hubby use to watch it on occasion before we got together...but once I moved in...it went out in the garbage...and guess what? He is still breathing and hasn't suffered any consequences from not getting to view the stuff. He also doesn't miss it either. If BOTH partners in a relationship are comfortable with pornography and it doesn't affect their relationship...I see nothing wrong with it...However when one partner is uncomfortable (usually the woman) then it becomes a problem when the man continues to view it without any regards to her feelings.
2007-08-27 05:27:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I went through this with my last husband, and it did ruin our marriage. Nothing wrong with **** or masterbation, but leaving you out of any sexual pleasure is just wrong and frankly, seems like a mental illness, imo. If you two are committed to making the marriage work, then you need to see a trained counselor to get to the bottom of why he is ignoring you sexually. I hope yours isn't a lost cause like mine was. In the meantime, I suggest you beat him at his game. Get your own pornography to enjoy, some vibrators, etc., and have fun. It may make him wake up to what he has been cheating you out of.
2007-08-27 05:54:04 · answer #4 · answered by meagain 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My husband went through this same thing for a good 2 years. I would always ask him about it, and he was never able to give me an answer... would just say that it has nothing to do with me, and he still wants me... blah blah blah. Anyway, I don't know how, but somehow I just accepted it and stopped nagging at him about it. It only took a couple months of me not asking him anymore, that he was back into me. (no pun intended lol). Maybe it was the fact that I was asking him 'why' so much that the pressure was too much for him to want to have sex with me again. Maybe if you do the same, your husband will come around? Maybe its just a phase guys go through. And believe me, It does get better! You gotta believe him when he tells you it has nothing to do with you... it is perfectly normal for a guy to want to see another woman naked. But, in the words of my husband... he would never want to be with another person in real life! Good Luck!
2007-08-27 05:31:44 · answer #5 · answered by Amanda D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Addicted" is a way overused word. It should only apply in terms of drugs. People like ****. People are sexual beings. Maybe as soon as we are born we should all be neutered and given lobotomies, then we would all be perfect little ladies and gentlemen who would never even think offensive thoughts, let alone even think about doing anything controversial. It would be a better world. (?)
2016-05-19 01:49:53 · answer #6 · answered by chelsey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you discussed this with him? Is the type of **** he watches of a specific nature, perhaps outside of what the two of you engage in? How do you try to tempt him to your bed?
By answering these questions you will get a better idea of what is happening here. Then it is up to you to communicate!
If you can't handle this on your own, go to couples counseling.
2007-08-27 05:34:46 · answer #7 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That means you hubby is not interested in you.
I'll teach you a game:
Be the first to care him.
Voluntarily go with physical contacts with your hubby.
Dress sexy.
Sit with him and ask him why don't we play like this?
Share some sexy jokes with him. Completely draw his attention towards you. I hope things will workout fine.
Still if found difficult ! We shall discuss on it. Just mail me.
2007-08-30 19:39:58 · answer #8 · answered by Vish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know what to say, but have you thought of joining his urges for the sake of your marriage. Who know you might be able to lure him away after a while.
2007-08-31 03:47:16 · answer #9 · answered by Dreamyraj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't pressurise him to love you or make love to you. Be patient, give him time. Pretty soon he should get tired of doing it artificially, when the real thing is available.
Make your self attractive and be friendly, and dont nag him. Don't push him, sex is only one part of love. Give him some time to get over it.
2007-08-27 15:31:21 · answer #10 · answered by Pramod R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋