My dad is cheating on my mom! I HAVE PROOF! I NEED HELP!?

Question

Ok, so my dad is the kind of guy that goes on the computer and then just walks away :P leaving his email WIDE OPEN! so, there i go like always just checking the mail, because i put something on ebay on his account, and i got a reply. I notice something from Singles.net, and all theese other dating/porn sites! NO WONDER THE COMPUTER IS FREAKING SLOW! He talks to all theese women, and i dont know what to do. He goes out late at night almost every couple of days, asking my mom for like 100 bucks and if he dont get it from her he starts asking me! WTF!? i typed on internet explorer, the letters s, b, t, and all theese random ones and i seen theese porn sites. I cant believe this. AND IM Friggin scared to tell him i know hes doing this because he tried killing me once, and he throws stuff .I also found out he has a drinking problem which makes things worse! What can i do, i need help!

Ok, so my dad is the kind of guy that goes on the computer and then just walks away :P leaving his email WIDE OPEN! so, there i go like always just checking the mail, because i put something on ebay on his account, and i got a reply. I notice something from Singles.net, and all theese other dating/porn sites! NO WONDER THE COMPUTER IS FREAKING SLOW! He talks to all theese women, and i dont know what to do. He goes out late at night almost every couple of days, asking my mom for like 100 bucks and if he dont get it from her he starts asking me! WTF!? i typed on internet explorer, the letters s, b, t, and all theese random ones and i seen theese porn sites. I cant believe this. AND IM Friggin scared to tell him i know hes doing this because he tried killing me once, and he throws stuff .I also found out he has a drinking problem which makes things worse! What can i do, i need help!

I have enough proof*edit*
My brother knows this too * hes 10*
Im only 13*

Im not sure what to do though, he is very aggresive and if i tell my mother she might go beserk, not on me, but on my dad. And shell end up getting hurt. There has been many fights in my house. My dad probably thinks hes a child because my grandpa told him nothing or gave him no advice as a child. im really in a pickle here o.o

Answer 1

Print all this stuff off and leave it for your mom to see only. Next, contact CPS. No, actually, contact CPS first. Child Protective Services. You need for them to get you out of the house ASAP. If your dad tried killing you once, he'll try it again. Maybe he'll succeed the next time. Let the rest of the chips fall where they may.

Answer 2

Okay this question really hits me---I am 26 and when I was 18 and pregnant I decided to tell my mom that my dad was cheating on her... I was 9 months along at the time with my first son and it was a hard decision, but being freshly married I felt that I would like to know and I also thought he couldn't be mad at me- He was the one doing it...Well long story short- 7 years later they are still together after alot of long talks and getting over it, my dad has NEVER, EVER asked me about it, and he knew it was me... We have a very good relationship and my family is better for it...I hope I have helped some, just want you to know that...

Answer 3

I would find another adult male in your extended family and confront your father with that person there.

You father needs accountability and the reason he leaves stuff so easily accessible is because he wants to get caught.

It's tough to have to deal with this as a kid but once he admits things to you and the relative then you can let the relative take over and push him into getting some sort of help or counseling.

If you have no other alternative then obviously tell your mother and make sure it's while he's not home so you can show her the evidence.

You may have to go thru a very difficult time for awhile but realize that it has nothing to do with you. It's your fathers problem/illness. The quicker things get out in the open the quicker things can start to heal. This may include your father not living there anymore so you may have to prepare yourself for this scenario. Just try to support your mother and not be another issue for her to deal with.

I'm sorry you have to go thru this.

Answer 4

My question is what does your mother do? Does she have a job and a way to support herself with out your dad? I don't think it's a good idea to tell her. How old are you? How many more years will you be in the house? I haven't seen any "proof" that he's cheating. I don't like porn on the computer so I agree with you there but do you know that he actually is seeing other women? You said he tried to kill you once? Just leave it alone, move out when you're able.

Answer 5

Tell your mom. If she's in denial, then call a child abuse hotline. If you're that afraid to confront him about the situation, then you are in an abusive environment. After talking to a professional, you may want to find a way out by staying with friends or relatives (tell your parents it's because you want to spend time to get to know these people so they don't freak out). There's nothing you can do about your parents' marriage; it's for them to work out between themselves. As a child, all you can do is not get in the middle of it. But since your father's behavior is putting you and your mother in jeopardy, you may need a professional third party (police, lawyer, therapist,...) to help you if you both decide to leave him.

Answer 6

This is a very tough delicate situation. If you dad is violent you may need to involve the authorities.
As far a confronting your father, if he is violent this is tough. Ask yourself if it will do any good if he knows you know or if it will make things worse.
Also, is this something you are thinking about telling your Mother?
You need to ask yourself how your mother will react? Is she the type to actually leave him. Does she have the means to get away? Is she the type to be upset but sweep it under the carpet? If she is the type to be in denial sometimes it is best to just keep quiet. If you are sure she would want to know and will actually do something about it then talk to someone you can trust in the family or close friends who knows your mom and see if they think she should know. If you both agree, the take your mom to a neutral/safe place and talk to her about it. Just make sure you both will be safe from your father.
What ever you decide please make sure you and your Mother will be safe. Sometimes it is best to stay our of it unless your are fairly sure of the outcome???

Answer 7

I would say to not tell your mother. Quite frankly if your father is leaving the internet sites open, your mother more than likely has more of a clue than you think and may just be ignoring it. I would have to say that it's not likely to change. The thing I would be most concerned about is your father's abusive behavior and alcoholism. You should contact child protective services but realize that in doing so, you will open a huge can of worms. Sometimes protecting yourself is the best option.

Answer 8

Being a wife and mom I would want to know. I wonder if your mom already knows? Most wives are VERY smart...take head men! We usually know what is going on, whether she is in denial or doesnt care is on her.
Depending on your age, you should open up the conversation with your mom. obviously if your 13 confide in an aunt or older sibling but if your 16 or older I think you can openly start a conversation with mom about dad's behavior, his drinking, and the web sites. See what she tells you. You might be surprised. If I found out my husband was cheating most likly I would blow up and move out, but if I had thoughts of it I might be more stratigic and move out at the right time. She might be playing her cards, but you can help her along by supporting her, telling her you are on her side and refusing to give dad any money!!!! If he has been abusive you (depending on your age can get a restraining order) that way he has to move and then you can get mom the help she needs to get rid of him

Ps I think he wants to get caught, he is very deliberate in leaving his email open and asking fo rmoney, almost as if he is gloating ha ha

Answer 9

GET YOUR MOM TO LOOK WITH YOU ON THE

COMPUTER ONE DAY. TELL HER YOU WANT

TO BUY SOMETHING ON-LINE AND HAVE HER
ASSIST YOU. PLAY ALONG AS IF YOU DON'T


KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING THEN YOU GO INTO THE SITE WHERE YOU FOUND THE

CRAP ON YOUR DAD. ACT AS IF YOU NEVER SAW IT BEFORE, THAT WAY YOUR IN THE CLEAR. THEN LET SHE HANDLE IT FROM

THERE.
regarding HIM ASKING YOU FOR MONEY TELL HIM YOU SPENT IT ALREADY THERE WAS A COOL WHATEVER YOU JUST HAD TO GET
OR SAY YOU ONLY HAVE $10 AND IT'S FOR

WHATEVER TOMORROW. JUST DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR CASH TO HIM HE IS A GROWN A#S MAN. HE SHOULD HAVE MONEY

OF HIS OWN IF HE WANTS TO ABUSE THAT THEN IT'S ON HIM. last, IF HE SHOULD PUT HIS HANDS ON YOU OR YOUR MOM AGAIN CALL (what he is doing is called abuse and the state do no play that especially when kids are involved)

THE COPS AND REPORT HIM. TELL THEM HOW SCARED YOU ARE FOR YOUR MOM AND OTHER SIBLING. YOU ALL DESERVE

BETTER THAT THIS.
I SINCERELY WISH YOU ALL THE BEST.

Answer 10

Ok, hopefully you are at least 18! Get the hell out of there if you are! If not, lay low and talk to someone at school. If he is violent you should not provoke him. Your mom probably already knows and does not no how to handle it. This is between the two of them and they are adults. The only thing you can do for your mother is be there for her. Ask her often how she is doing and what is going on in her life. Tell her what's going on in your to open up dialog. I hope your dad is not violent towards your mom and if he is call a local women's shelter and ask for advice.

Good luck, my heart goes out to you!