Do you like this poem?

Question

I'm looking up at the stained sky
so my tears don't well up and fall.
Why can't people live
as they wish
I don't want a weak heart that can't cry
or the strength not to cry.
I'll search for a shooting
star to cast my wishes on, but
dawn is coming too soon
and I won't be able to find one.

There's never a day that I have
to remember you because
I never for a moment forgot you.

Whenever I'm sad I have
a habit of saying I'm ok.
After something stopped
that day, no matter
how much I pray,
I can't see a single star.

I want to see you, I want to see you.
Your smiling face in my memory is
just too kind.

There's never a day that I have
to remember you because
I never for a moment forgot you.

I want to see you, I want to see you.
Your smiling face in my memory is
just too kind.

I'm not a native English speaker (obviously?).

Answer 1

I like what you had to say, but can't say I'm impressed how you said it. It's not poetry, just badly punctuated prose with returns inserted where they shouldn't be, try again. Practice does make it get better.

Answer 2

Your poem is very nice. You are good in writting poems I suppose. You have choosen words that goes with the syle of the poem. But in somelines there are short mistakes. As in the third line you can connect it with the fourth one. If it was connected when reading it rhymes to a style.But it's good anyway. I enjoyed reading it.

Answer 3

Good job, it's a challenge to write poetry in a language that is not your own.

Answer 4

Impressive. I am English-speaking and your English in the poem is perfect.

Answer 5

I really like what you're saying, but it sounds more like prose then poetry, which means it sounds lie you're writing for communication instead of art.

Answer 6

Definitely not.

Answer 7

Very good.

Answer 8

yes

Answer 9

cute