How can one think positive thoughts when say a place can remind you of a person or thing and bring you down?

Question

How can we stay happy and upbeat when something can affect us like this when we try to forget the pain in life because it did not go our way???

Answer 1

Pain will always come and go with varying degrees of severity, be it emotional or physical. This whole "Law of Attraction", which I assume your refering to, for the most part is BS! Yor not going to have consistently happy circumstances surrounding you just because your focusing all your thought energy on happy, positive thoughts. You're not going to get a brand new 2008 BMW just because you really focused on positive thinking and focused your thoughts on having a BMW.

Now what you can train yourself to do is; first rid your mind of worrying and anxiety, hard times always will lie ahead of you. Worrying about them only makes it worse, because your going to have to face it regardless of how much you worry about it. Also, Try to keep a positive mindset and finding the most positively productive things to do at all times and especially through times of suffering. Lastly, keep in mind through these hard times that no matter what, it will come to pass and soon be over with.

So it's not about controlling the circumstances that come your way, you can't, you're not God. Rather it's changing how you choose to react to those circumstances.

Personally I believe God is the most real thing there is in all of existence. As corny as it sounds, to have a relatioship with Him where I can depend on Him to get me through whatever it may be... well I don't know how some people do it without God.

Answer 2

Rena, you have to watch the past from the present. When the ugly past gets triggered, realize that the only real thing right then is the present where you are and can only be. Just watch the past resurface, but don't in any way attempt to struggle with it or react to it. Just watch like you are watching a movie, at a distance. If you don't give it any energy it will fade away.

Traumatic events from the past are carried into the future because the environment where those things occurred is charged with emotion, so the same environmental factors that re appear in the new moment can re trigger our trauma. Just watch it all from the safe here and now where you are, maybe feel some past emotions, but don't move or struggle. Each time you are successful the event will have less power over you and one day will be nothing. It's a process and a journey back to the present moment where you live good right now.

Sometimes it's not a matter of thinking positive thoughts as it is just realizing that the negative thoughts are not good and you need to reject them as something you don't have to follow. That in itself is positive. Just say "no thanks" to them without resentment and they will vaporize.

"Regret looks backwards, worry looks forward, life and hope look around"

Answer 3

well yesterday i was reading one of my e-mails from gleemagazine and it said that to be happy you need to forgive and forget.you actually need to give it time to heal,then try to forget and every time you think of something that makes you mad have control as well as positive thoughts.well i am one of those people who wants everything her way yet i do not get it all the time since let us be honest:it is life and it is not all peachy!second,right now i am dealing with the thought of my bf graduating from the same university in the spring yet i have to be happy for him as well as myself and tell myself that everything will be fine.third,i guess that trying to forget the pain is a good cover up which is temporary for things that hurt us yet at some point in life we have to face the hard choices of which show how we act and the kind of person we are.i am scared of death that my bf might propose in the winter,how i am going to break to my folks that my ex and i are dating again-now bf-,that i made good grades,that i am going overseas w/ my bf for 2 weeks.sometimes life can be hard yet you have to accept that and make the decisions that best suit you vs.thinking of the past.You need to lest go,learn a thing or two as well as to take it one day at a time while making reasonable goals.that is all!

Answer 4

I have always wondered what selection process goes on in our mind that decides which past events to remember and which not to..... the process does not seem to be quite in our own conscious control.

Under the circumstances, all we seem to be able to do is to stay away from the place or situation or context of a bad memory to escape painful or hurtful recall. However, I have come across some 'doers' sort of people who are so action-oriented that they do not seem to recall any past memories either to torment them or give any nostalgic happiness either. This leads me to believe that even though we are unable to erase sad or unwarranted memories selectively, what we may yet be able to do is to be preoccupied with the present and the future plans to let all past memories remain buried in the past..... perhaps what is really meant by looking forward.

Answer 5

Master Virtue and you know all


Sometime you need to find tranquil, restful to get inner peace and not to have you heart fall out on it.

Auctoritas — "Spiritual Authority" — The sense of one's social standing, built up through experience, Pietas, and Industria.
Comitas — "Humour" — Ease of manner, courtesy, openness, and friendliness.
Clementia — "Mercy" — Mildness and gentleness.
Dignitas — "Dignity" — A sense of self-worth, personal pride.
Firmitas — "Tenacity" — Strength of mind, the ability to stick to one's purpose.
Frugalitas — "Frugalness" — Economy and simplicity of style, without being miserly.
Gravitas — "Gravity" — A sense of the importance of the matter at hand, responsibility and earnestness.
Honestas — "Respectability" — The image that one presents as a respectable member of society.
Humanitas — "Humanity" — Refinement, civilization, learning, and being cultured.
Industria — "Industriousness" — Hard work.
Pietas — "Dutifulness" — More than religious piety; a respect for the natural order socially, politically, and religiously. Includes the ideas of patriotism and devotion to others.
Prudentia — "Prudence" — Foresight, wisdom, and personal discretion.
Salubritas — "Wholesomeness" — Health and cleanliness.
Severitas — "Sternness" — Gravity, self-control.
Veritas — "Truthfulness" — Honesty in dealing with others.

Answer 6

You just have to do it. Think of something you like or enjoy. Bring a friend and have some fun so you reestablish the place in a positive light. Know that you are not alone.

Answer 7

it is very hard to forget the pain and hurt we all feel in life. i have received quite a few heart blows especially another recently,but the original one was a far worse loss, which still haunts me to this day.what i think we all need is to bathed in the spirit of light to be healed in a way.a special fountain hidden in a ancient forest.but i do not never give in to hardship,i cannot if i do then my life is over.my spirit is full of fight.and i will battle on always.it is in my nature to do this.

Answer 8

This is a difficult question as I was just thinking about this yesterday while visiting my sick father at his house. My mother died last year, and my dad was her primary care giver. She came home from the hospital, terminally ill with cancer, and the hospice workers set up a hospital bed in the living room by the window so Mom can look at her garden in the backyard. Two living room chairs had to be moved so the bed could be positioned there. My mother died days later in that very spot, her beautiful roses which dad maintained while nursing her were in full bloom in the background as she passed from this Earth.
Yesterday, I was with Dad who is very ill himself now, mostly from a broken heart having lost his wife of 52 years only last August 30. The anniversary of her death approaches rapidly, and his health is declining at a faster pace than any of us expected. While seated in the living room with my older sister, discussing our Father's deteriorating health yesterday afternoon, I was suddenly stricken with the memory of our Mother's final moments. I remembered her calling out to her faithful husband with her last breath as he rushed to her side and gently stroked the hairs on her head. She died with the gentle fingers of her husband to console her. That image flashed through my mind, that memory, indelible and unsettling and was augmented by the realization that I was sitting in the very spot where my mother breathed her final breaths. The chairs had long since been returned to their original location, by the window, overlooking the roses in Mom's garden. I was distraught. I got up to move to a different seat. And then it struck me. My dad was heartsick, and there was no way to get around that. Any idea of being upbeat was squelched by the fact that the lingering image of Mom dying in the living room kept replaying itself as a loop every time I entered there. Right now, there is no happiness in our lives. Dad is fading fast, longing for his lost love. My children miss their grandmother and the knot is already forming in their throats as they know Grandpa is sick and not getting better. Really, I do not know how to remain upbeat when the house where I grew up is haunted by the memories of our dying mother, and is now occupied by our dying father. I suppose faith is the answer, but sometimes faith only reveals itself after the fact, and I am not in any hurry to speed up the healing process

Answer 9

We must take control of our thoughts and stop allowing them to control us. This mental training must be practiced always. If you are anything like me there are times when my mind would run rampant. I think regaining this control requires one to actively monitor thoughts and to put an end to all thoughts that are purposeless. I try very hard to end any negative thought immediately. I even talk to my thoughts. Sometimes they will get a bad thought past my guards and I will yell at them mentally, saying things like, hey, ya bastards, you thought you would get that crap past me! I know it may sound silly to some but to me it is essential.

Answer 10

This is the story of my life and it's been nearly six decades. I have Post traumatic strees disorder because I CAN"T forgot the pain and suffering. I am surviving in spite of it and I WILL live happily ever after. I've found my way...