He was there when I got it and never said a word until we got home. Now he keeps complaining about it. We have agreed to get it covered with something else when it heals and have agreed on what to cover it up with. Now, I find out that he keeps telling his friends and co-workers how much he hates it! His friend approached me the other day and begged me to show him it, telling me all about my husband making fun of me, I was so embarassed! What should I say to hubby to make him stop???
2007-08-27 03:21:06 · 44 answers · asked by Prohibition Rose 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
tell your husband no one needs to know about your tattoo, and having people coming up to you is getting really annoying and hurting your feelings.
2007-08-27 03:24:51 · answer #1 · answered by firefly 4 · 4⤊ 4⤋
What is the tattoo and where is it? If you like it, it's your body then why would get rid of it? He was there and didn't say anything, so tell him to deal with it. Now if you don't like it and want to get rid of it, then do so! If I saw it I could make a better opinion but I'm sure it doesn't look as bad as he says! Tell him he is hurting your feeling and if he had a problem with it he should have said something before you got the tattoo! Most people do research and think about their tattoo before they do it which I'm sure you did! So he should have opened his mouth then, now he doesn't have to look if he doesn't like it!!
2007-08-27 05:32:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very obvious your husband was NOT ok with you getting a tattoo in the first place. For the record, I wouldn't even date a woman with one--they are very tacky. However, the real fault here is not with you but your husband. He should have spoke up. He is now the one in the wrong for making fun of you. This is hardly good for his marriage. He sounds like the type who doesn't have enough nerve to be upfront but instead will snipe at you. In classic psychology, this is called "passive-aggressive."
Enough of that though. Here's what you can do. Since confrontations make him squirm a little, confront him. Point out that he signed off on the stupid thing. The time to object was BEFORE, not after. Tell him what's done is done and unless he wants to fork out the thousands of dollars to get the stupid thing removed, he needs to let it go. Ask him point blank what's more important--a stupid tattoo or my feelings? Tell him he was out of bounds running around cutting you down, and he's undermining our marriage. That will put him on the spot and let him know for certain what your feelings are.
Kent in SD
2007-08-27 03:30:24 · answer #3 · answered by duckgrabber 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Neither my husband or I have any tattoos. My husband in particular despises them and he would never agree to allowing me to have one -fortunately, I don't want any.
I think the whole tattoo issue should've been discussed before you had it done - if he felt strongly about it, he should've spoke up. There's not much u can do, short of going and beginning the process of having it removed!!
2007-08-27 03:36:34 · answer #4 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to stop talking to other ppl about a problem that should just be between the two of you. If you like the Tattoo then tell him that. He isn't in control of your body and you should not have to feel like he is humiliating you or embarrassing you behind your back. I would let him know what you feel like and ask him if he would like you to treat him this away. If he is that un happy over a tattoo on your body then he sounds like he is being superficial and that no way to treat a person you love.
2007-08-27 03:56:48 · answer #5 · answered by peaches_82_2001 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow hubby has a mouth on him...and little respect for your feelings or his for that matter!
Your husband was very unfair to you to not say anything before you even had the tattoo done. When he first saw what the design was he should have spoken up with a simple..."Nah I really don't like it".
You then could have made the decision of continuing with the tat you wanted or maybe found something that was as appealing to him as well.(No matter if you are married or not your body is still your body...and getting a tattoo isn't going to hurt anyone else...even if they don't like it.)
Your husband not saying anything until after the fact was completely unfair to you. For him to blab to friends on how much he doesn't like it, shows an almost "me me me" mentality. For example..."poor me I have to look at this most hideous thing that my "dumb" wife did now for the rest of my life."
Friends:"Poor Husband...."(sigh)
For him to open up his mouth and blab about something that he could have given an opinion on BEFORE it happened is insensitive to you. To make you the center of attention to his friends on an issue that you realize your husband is upset about is also a bit demeaning.
I think I would probably talk to him and explain that you understand that he hates it and that you and he had already come to a compromise on what was going to be done about it...tell him that if he continues talking about you behind your back and it come back to you that he is that he will have to watch himself, and that he needs to have the respect and trust in you by being able to keep his mouth shut.
Personally if it was me...I would make sure to get him really drunk...then while passed out...have " moron" tattooed on his forehead.
Then I would go around moaning to everyone about the new tattoo that my husband got...and how I didn't like it.
Good luck!
2007-08-27 03:57:21 · answer #6 · answered by mshellrosie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry, but I think your husband is acting very immature. This is YOUR body. It's not like you got Matthew McConaughey's butt tattoed on your arm, is it? I think he needs to grow up, honestly.
I'd have to sit him down and say, "Really, in the big picture of life, is THIS tattoo going to hurt anything?"
I think if a tattoo is all he's got to worry about with you, he should thank his lucky stars.
And if you want to know the truth of the matter, it sounds like you always give him his way, so he's always got "control" in one form or another...and maybe you need to start thinking of you a little more and he won't throw little tantrums in the rare event that you do! Good luck, Hon.
2007-08-27 03:42:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
First off, I have to say that if you like yoru nw tattoo, then don't have it covered. Afterall, it is your body and you are the one that has to live with it being on you. If you do not happen to like it than by all means go and have it made into something else. But, if you are doing this just because he happens to not like it, what happens if you go get the new one and he does not like that one either? He did not say a word about the 1st one until you got home and there is always that chance that he will say the same thing about the 2nd one. I would politely tell your husband that it is hurting your feelings that he is going around making a public announcement about your tattoo. It is yours and on your body and if he does not like it, than he does not have to look at it. I have 4 and if my hubby were to say that he did not like any of them, well, too bad for him. I like them and I am the one that will have them on me for the rest of my life.
2007-08-27 03:35:18 · answer #8 · answered by bluemysti 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Do not cover it up for him. Given that he was there when you got it, he has absolutely no right to make you cover it up now. He could have, and should have, said something before it was done. To say something after the fact is disrespectful to you. I believe he may have some underlying problems and is using the tat as a diversion. He seems to have control issues. If you give into him on this matter, I see more problems down the road. Problems more important than art on YOUR body. I think you need to get to the root of the real problem and you may need the help of a counselor to do that. Don't make any major life decisions with him until you get this straightened out. Best of luck to you. I wish you well.
2007-08-27 03:41:16 · answer #9 · answered by pitterpat 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
All I can say is that neither of you is very intelligent & the blame lies equally.
To be silly enough to want a tattoo in the first place describes you - for your husband to be silly enough to allow you to get it describes him.
If your were both mature enough to have made the decision for you not to get it in the first place then this predicament would not have occurred.
2007-08-27 03:49:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well he should have told you about it before it was a permanent thing. Tell him to shut the **** up about it, you're aware he doesn't like it, so he doesn't need to be an *** about it. You like it yes? And you're going to cover it for him, right? You need to make it clear that he's hurting your feelings, and as a guy...we're jerks like that, he probably thinks you agree that it's the most stupid tattoo ever since you agreed to cover it, so he doesn't see the harm.
2007-08-27 03:33:05 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋