We got married 3 years ago, an then eventually we receive a bless from God , now hes 2 years old hes evetyhing for me, since I moved to another city to get a better job she had to separated from her family which bothered her to much, we daily fight for stupid things but she and I started this kind of fights before moving on to this job, she and I dont share love anymore, it appears that it is only the routine, but usually she complaints about everything I do, besides all this things I think that she is no longer dedicated to try to look beautiful, in fact I believe that phisically she doesnt attract me anymore,
With all this situations, If I separated from her she will take our son with her and moved to her family house, just to thing about it make to sad because I know I will miss my son to much, maybe not her, but my son is my entire life for me, I love him more than my own life,
Please if there are fathers that were in the same situation please advise me what to do?
2007-08-27 02:37:13 · 11 answers · asked by carlosagb2003 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe the only reason is not her family. Maybe it is not easy for her to look after a child and to take care of house chores at the same time. Perhaps that's why she did not want to leave her family and do not take care of her appearance anymore since she is not in the mood. But you should talk to her and listen to her carefully if she needs anything to improve the situation. Try to talk to her alone first and try to be as polite and calm as possible. Maybe she needs your help before she needs some other people.
Good luck
2007-08-27 02:58:28 · answer #1 · answered by Ardelia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she wants to be the controller and dictate hers and your actions. Do not allow her to do this, it is hypocritical for her to keep tabs on you while she was seeing other men? The worse thing is that it sounds like she is trying to use your son as a means to keep control over you. Also do not allow her to do this! Even if you divorced, legally she cannot keep you away from your son and you could still be a great father regardless if you are coming home everyday and seeing him. Sometimes it might be better to divorce so he will not witness the anger and hostility in the home between the both of you. You just need to really ask yourself if you want to continue to spend the rest of you life with this woman? If yes then stay together, get help and work it out! If not, then tell her how you feel and what you want to do and start the process of getting a divorce! Good luck!
2016-05-19 00:49:14 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you see if she'll go with you for marriage counseling before you separate or get divorced. I imagine the move has prompted the problems. A counselor can help you two sort through your feelings and you might fall in love with her again. Chances are, if you separate or get divorced, she will take your son and move back to her family.
2007-08-27 02:42:03 · answer #3 · answered by angela 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does your wife feel the same way? Do you both want save this? Do not give up. It sounds to me that she needs to grow up. There is a wonderful book called "The Surrendered Wife". The title of the book does not give the book justice. I know many woman that have saved their marriage using this book. Get here a copy.
Please seek counseling. Your son deserves to have 2 parents.
2007-08-27 03:45:20 · answer #4 · answered by Tadpoler 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you ever stop to think that maybe she is overwhelmed or stressed out, even a little depressed ?
Maybe she thinks she is not important to you anymore?
Maybe she thinks you don't really love her?
Maybe just maybe you treat her like she is only their for convenience. Women do get depressed when they feel useless to their man you know.
Try some things like just giving her flowers for no reasons they don't have to be expensive or allot.
Try just going up and giving her a hug for the heck of it.
Try helping out with dishes, cooking, laundry, making a bed, ect... do you get it?
Try to make her feel like she is # 1 to you maybe she can snap her self out of it.
Talk with her don't get caught up in the same routine everyday.
What do you have to lose? It couldn't get worse if you are ready to walk out now. But you could gain allot more.
2007-08-27 03:01:43 · answer #5 · answered by Emptiness 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Work on your marriage and give it a good fair shot.
I usually don't recommend books because I hate it when people recommend them to me, but I honestly wish I could buy "Love & Respect" for every married (and engaged) person I know. So try and hear me out...
It states that a woman's driving need is to feel loved and when she feels loved she feels happy. A man's driving need is to feel respect and when he feels respected he is happy. When a woman feels unloved she acts out disrespectfully to her husband, and when a man feels disrespected he acts out unloving towards his wife and the crazy cycle begins.
If this is setting off any light bulbs for you read on...
"I wrote this book out of desperation that was turned into inspiration. As a pastor, I counseled married couples and could not solve their problems. The major problem I heard from wives was, "He doesn't love me." Wives are made to love, want to love, and expect love. Many husbands fail to deliver. But as I kept studying Scripture and counseling couples, I finally saw the other half of the equation. Husbands weren't saying it much, but they were thinking, "She doesn't respect me." Husbands are made to be respected, want respect, and expect respect. Many wives fail to deliver. The result is that five out of ten marriages land in divorce court (and that includes evangelical Christians).
As I wrestled with the problem, I finally saw a connection: without love from him, she reacts without respect; without respect from her, he reacts without love. Around and around it goes. I call it the Crazy Cycle - marital craziness that has thousands of couples in its grip."
I am not even half-ways through the book and workbook, and while my husband is not studying the material with me it has already worked miracles in my no-longer-failing marriage.
If you do believe in God I highly recommend this biblically based book. It's not a "religious freak" book or anything but it's nice to know that it is based on things in the bible and not just some theory or pop psychology book, and it's been a #1 seller for over 2 years now... it's working for thousands of couples!
2007-08-27 05:00:25 · answer #6 · answered by THATgirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry but, when one is moved away from everything they know with a 2 yr old and a husband you fight with daily, "dedicating" themselves to looking beautiful isn't top on the priority list. thats pretty shallow. sounds like you could both use a good marriage counseler before chucking it all.
2007-08-27 02:49:08 · answer #7 · answered by racer 51 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i think you have to talk to her in these things you think she goes different in it.......
you know i think that your feeling "she doesn't attract u" is not real that is because the lot of fighting...but if she leave you for a while i guess you will miss her.
i said that because the baby...he should grow up between his father and mother
so you have to find a way with your wife to fix ur problems. its your duty...so don't give up fast
2007-08-27 03:18:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you people keep having kids if you don't really like livng with each other anymore? Soyou loved your wife before thekidbut now after thekid you don't love her anymore???
Makes no damn sense what so ever, you never loved her in the first place.
2007-08-27 03:57:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
What about for better or worse, I think you should have a long talk and maybe some therapy.
2007-08-27 03:05:11 · answer #10 · answered by jdydewing 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋