Hubby & I have been through alot-my insecurity,his porn addiction,drug addiction and basic financial irrespononsiblty(my opinion-I had great credit,savings.primary wage earner when this all started). I think he is done with drugs,but how can I know ?He lies=missed his daughters birthday on 7/1/07. I cheated once,after he disappeared for the 20th timebut have kept the guy as a long distance friend. I have 3 kids and honestly,its easier to have hubby around when he's "good".I just can't trust him-we're still a financial mess and that really bothers me.Hubby has worked steadily for the past 11/2 yrs(longest ever}, and has given me money since moving out 6/1/07- $350. I otherwise support the kids-He'll watch the kids maybe 1x a week when I work- works night so it is tough(but he's able to go golfing with his friend 2x a week), he will pick them up to take to practices 2 -3 time/week. I wanted counseling set up by him, him to pay back taxes($6000),my family($15,000!!)-drug debt & he hasn't
2007-08-27 02:35:49 · 8 answers · asked by Angie07 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don'e expect him to pay a lump sum.I just want to see him being honest and consistant about paying his debts($25/week would work!!).I paid off $1000 from porn 5 years ago.My mom said he could work off what he owes her and he's made no attempt-yet he's mad that "all I care about is money" -is that how it looks?
2007-08-27 02:52:10 · update #1
I would continue doing what you are doing to work out your money problems. It sounds like he is changing but, until you go to counseling and see if there is any other under line issues I wouldn't go back. Sorry...It might start all over again. Did he get help with the drug issue or just stop on his own?
No that is not how it looks. You what him to take care of his responsibility. Stand your ground. He needs to face the mess he made..
2007-08-27 02:42:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
This guy is a mess and he's dragging you and your children down with him.
Divorce and have the state garnish his wages for child support. You will very likely NEVER see the money he owes your family and it will become your responsibility to pay it back.
You can negotiate the back taxes with the IRS.
Don't live in the limbo of separation any longer! it's no good for anyone!
2007-08-27 09:50:47 · answer #2 · answered by Tseruyah 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes. if he wanted this to work out he would be there more for the kids and try to get another job to pay off the debts. he wants to run and have his life to have fun and for you to take care of him. put your saving into one of your kids name ,then file for a divorce. then see what his reactions are. with the money not being in your name then he cant show how you have any in court. you may have to split the taxes but the rest will be his to deal with. dont tell him where your money is. your family will be lucky to see any money from him.
2007-08-27 09:55:29 · answer #3 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going through alot of the same crap right now and I think you know as well as I do that there has to be some real treatment involved to stop addiction problems. I would keep things the way they are for more time to be sure, and 350.00 isn't that much money unless he makes minimum wage.
2007-08-27 09:52:23 · answer #4 · answered by jdydewing 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's gonna be hard to give you a total answer. But I can give you a partial; it doesn't sound like this guy will ever be able to come up with $21,000 plus. If this is absolutely essential to you, then you might as well make plans for the divorce and total separation.
If money issues can be set aside in favor of any virtues he might have, then it might be worth your while to do so.
But expecting money out of him is no different than crying for the Moon.
2007-08-27 09:45:57 · answer #5 · answered by Robert K 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
yes stay with him if you want to continue this roller-coaster lifestyle.
otherwise start taking care of you and those kids and do what you know is best.
if you ever meet someone else, make sure they are equipped and prepared to take care of things... a woman shouldn't have to support a man or give him money!! it's just wrong!
hugs
2007-08-27 09:45:04 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get this all down in a dovorce settlement. Until then your both responsible for any debt during the marriage.
2007-08-27 10:27:46 · answer #7 · answered by ~ ♥ ~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You either married him knowing all this about him, or you married a man you hardly knew...either way you have to live with your choices and straighten them out. A separation is dumb, either be with your husband or divorce him.
2007-08-27 09:40:28 · answer #8 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 2⤊ 3⤋