I have been dating my partner for over 3 months and see each other everyday and truly want to be with each other. ...now we do (according to her, at least i know how i feel and really do want to be with her) are on the same wavelength. A buddy of mine is on a dating website and saw her picture on there,but it said she WAS NOT ACTIVE for some time. She was on her email this weekend and i was there and i saw that she had several emails from the dating website and they were opened (you can tell because they are no longer in bold in your email)...Now i WILL NOT and HAVE NOT pry into her email, but she told me about a month that she tried emailing the websites to cancel her membership and so far nothing has happened. Now i know for a fact you can delete your membership directly FROM the website itself. Is her response a ploy to keep her options open? Should i let her know it bothers me? i should trust her right? but shouldn't she cancel them if she truly wants to be with me???
2007-08-27 02:08:31 · 13 answers · asked by dude 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Also, she has a history of cheating on her ex married partner AND why wouldn't she cancel it? i mean, she has money issues, and if she is still on the website, isnt she paying for it?
2007-08-27 02:45:28 · update #1
She could be keep her options open. Maybe she thinks that keeping her profile up will keep her from being alone if you two don't work out. Three months is not that long.
She could also be inherently a cheater, and is always looking even when attached. My dad is engaged and still on Match.com. He is a chronic cheater, she could be the same way.
Maybe she is insecure and looking for validation. You can receive E-mails via your regular E-mail, but would have to sign in to respond. I think this is the most likely scenario, since you said that she had read them in her E-mail, but not signed in to the site in a while.
2007-08-27 02:27:35 · answer #1 · answered by love 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
CALM DOWN, you have only been with her for three months and if she has been inactive for some time then that means that she hasn't signed on to the website. She could be getting emails from the site letting her know that she has a message, but if she isn't signing on to read them then don't worry about it. The bigger issue here in my mind is that it has only been three months, and while you guys may think you love each other right now it is too soon to tell and I don't blame her for keeping her options open. If you feel confident enough in yourself and how you fit with her then a little competition won't be any problem for you, will it?
2007-08-27 09:18:19 · answer #2 · answered by No one 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why let it bother you? it's not active, anyway.
you are only dating, it's not like you're engaged or have a live-in committed relationship right now, so from where i sit, she can do whatever she wants.... so can you....
just because she gets emails from dating websites doesn't mean she's going out with other guys...
you have only known each other three months, as well. that isn't a lot of time, and you still have plenty to learn about each other.
no she shouldn't cancel anything she doesn't want to cancel. but she did tell you she tried? (some people don't know how to do these things anyway)....
don't worry about it........... i'm sure if you are "the one" she will let you know. take care.
2007-08-27 09:24:25 · answer #3 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just try telling her how it makes you feel - don't be accusing, cuz she'll probably react badly to that.
You can't always assume she's read those e-mails either. My e-mail account automatically marks the first e-mail in my inbox as read even when it's not. You don't know how many important e-mails I've missed because it looks like I've already read them.
She could have opened the e-mail looking for a cancel option. She probably didn't want to go to the website, thinking it would make her account look current & it would freak you out.
Just talk to her!
2007-08-27 09:16:42 · answer #4 · answered by Roland'sMommy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you HAVE pried into her email, so cut the bullsh*t. You aren't married. She can do whatever she wants. Yes, you should let her know it bothers you. If you want an exclusive relationship, then you need to tell her that. But as a single woman myself, I keep my options open and the men in my life know that. You are not off to a very good start in your relationship if you are having this much of an issue with trust and control.
2007-08-27 09:14:53 · answer #5 · answered by meagain 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Anyone knows that on a personal ad website you can delete your own profile or suspend it. She's playing you for a fool. If you know her email address right and you go to different search engines and you put it in search say if her email is Pattycake@hotmail or whatever and you go to yahoo or google and you put in Pattycake under search you may be surprised at all the dating services she's in. Now I do know that if you're on a personal ad, you will get emails from the personal ads if someone sees your profile and winks at you or flirts with you or sends you a kiss and maybe she just checked to see who was flirting or who was kissing or whatever but hasn't acted on it. Be careful. Go with your Gut.
2007-08-27 09:30:34 · answer #6 · answered by Patrick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, a lot of times with those internet websites you will continue to get a list of potential matches even after you've deleted your account so that might be all it is.
However, if she cheated on an ex-husband that you know what you're in for. Be careful. If you're that uncomfortable, end things now.
2007-08-27 09:54:28 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to close it before a certain time.
Give her a week.
Don't be ambiguous and make sure you give her a specific deadline.
Don't make any threats, just tell her to close it within a week.
If she does not do it, then she obviously regards her membership on that sight a bit more than your feelings and your relationship together.
You will have to determine where to go from there on your own.
If you do not put your foot down now, she will treat you as a pushover from here on out, without a doubt!
Good luck!
2007-08-27 09:49:09 · answer #8 · answered by runninfool 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe she just doesn't want to go back on that web site. And seeing how it is unactive that is a good sign, because it would tellyou the last time that she logged on. I think that she is telling you the truth and that you should just let this one go. And if it still bothers you, then yeah, I would ask her if you or she could sign in and delete her account.
2007-08-27 09:21:23 · answer #9 · answered by Brandi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I disagree w/ an answer above me. If she is going to keep her options open now, she will want them open later as well, after marraige! I believe that if one does it during the relationship, they will do it later, too. You need to set the ground rules now. Don't be afraid to get an answer you don't like from her. If she replies w/ an answer you don't need, find someone else who knows what devotion means. If you want to be exclusive, tell her this. If she does not want to be exclusive, move on. Good luck! =)
2007-08-27 09:20:45 · answer #10 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋