Give me an idea... I'm stuck. (...family betrayal)?

Question

I need to help a friend of mine out. Her dad is cheating on her mum with another woman out of town. Her mum is completely unaware, and a wonderful person. If she finds out , it will completely shatter her life - like it shattered her daughters life when she discovered this about her dad. The daughter wants to protect her mum from this heartache by all means... she feels there is a possibilty of 'nipping this in the bud' by dealing with the woman directly. She has asked me for advice on what to write in the email she will be sending to this woman. I have thought it over and over... a threat would blow everything out of proportion, while a 'nice letter' might not even be effective. I thought of presenting a story to this woman - a story so touching, that would make her drip with guilt and make her conscience prick her constantly so that it will cease her relationship with my friend's dad. Please give me an idea, anyone know of a very touching story of a united family being split by the

dad's infidelity and betrayal and by one woman's lowly desire... that ruins an entire wholesome, and loving family, drowning them in heartache... please i need your ideas... perhaps a link to a very touching story that can give me a kick start. bless you.

Answer 1

I think this guilt trip should be for the dad not the other woman. I find it very hard to keep something like this from her mother, as destructive as it might be, put yourself in her shoes. If the dad doesn't get any guilt from it, he just might continue with other woman, so in my opinion, it would be best to let her mother know.

Answer 2

a letter to the other woman won't help - even if she breaks it off with the guy, he's likely to find another 'other' without batting an eyelash

it's not the other woman's fault - a letter, even a 'nice' one could have the effect of her becoming indignant or vindictive and SHE may tell the girls mom - sounds like that's something the girl wants to avoid

unfortunately, this is a grown-up problem and only the grown-ups involved have the power to fix/change this - the only thing I can think of which might work is for the daughter to tell her dad that she knows and that she is broken-hearted and disgusted by his cheating - but even then he can choose to continue as is or might use that as the opportunity to tell his wife and get out of the marriage

this is a no win - sorry for your friend

Answer 3

For starters you are not able to press expenditures cuz it isn't your auto. The just one that may is the individual who owns the auto. I'd say you ought to kick his a--, however he additionally demands to gain knowledge of a lesson for no longer respecting others peoples estate. I do agree how ever that you simply will have to no longer press expenditures at this factor but when he did it once more, hell yea, I would not suppose two times, however he will have to be instructed that this would be the simplest time you will not. For stealing someones elses estate even supposing it's your bfs, it isn't correct. Your mum and dad additionally desire a kick within the a-- for protecting him, they ought to punish him and well, what could they have got performed if it have been their auto, or greater but what if he have been under the influence of alcohol and killed any one else with their auto ??????? Hello, your mum and dad additionally ought to get up for what's correct as good. Family is Family however no longer while it is handed to this factor. I do not blame the way you consider, but when this isn't the primary time, then I could see should you might have him thrown in prison for an afternoon or 2, if it's going to be his first time in prison, however and not using a difficult expenditures in opposition to him. He and your mum and dad ought to develop up. If I had performed that I could be beneath 6 toes. if you recognize what I imply. But consider should you throw him in prison you'll customarily lose your household as good, a minimum of for a couple of years. But he does ought to gain knowledge of a lesson and a well one. I certainally would not believe him once more till he might end up himself a couple of occasions over. I simply have one query. How historical is he ? Then it probably just a little unique. As a ways as for now I could scouse borrow some thing or matters that he quite cares approximately then permit him see the way it could consider a tiny bit to what he has you consider like doing. Keep it for a month, then say a few regarding father or mother discovered it was once his and back it to you. Remember what is going round comes round however this time, he merits it thoroughly. Let him consider what it's love to lose some thing that he needed to both paintings for,spend the cash on from his cash or simply quite cared approximately the object. I could maintain it from him for a minimum of 2 weeks. If it's concerning some thing of a well significance then I could speak to the officer who knew approximately what he did, so he can recommend you from there.But I'm definite he could without doubt move at the side of it, simply to coach him a lesson or 2. Just given that he instructed the reality, was once it cuz he bought stuck pink passed with it as good ?????????????????

Answer 4

Listen - if you or your friend try to interfere to split up your dad and this woman, it could go one of two ways. A woman in her position is unlikely be overcome with guilt on reading a "touching story" when she hasn't felt any so far!

If your friend threatens to expose her to her mother (which in any case she doesn't want to, because she doesn't want to hurt her) you could play right into the hands of your friend's dad's lover. She may be hoping their marriage will collapse, because she can then have him to herself - maybe marry him. She may already have tried begging him to leave his wife, but without success. If so, she'll call your bluff and tell you to go right ahead - you'd be doing her work for her.

As I commented earlier, your idea of a story would in my opinion be pointless. An appeal to her better nature is not likely to produce the results you want when it's directed to a woman who consorts with a married man with a family. She knows what she's doing, and if she hasn't had any scruples about it so far, the chances that she'll suddenly get a conscience and bow out seem fairly slim.

Why doesn't your friend talk to her dad, and try to get him to see what he's doing in terms of threatening the relationships in the family? She could tell him how she feels about it, and how it would shatter her mother if she knew, ask him if that's what he wants, or if he's even considered the consequences. It might (or might not) make him at least think about what he is doing not in terms of his own pleasure, but the disaster it would be for the family.

She can only try, but I would strongly advise neither of you to contact the woman concerned.

wimsey

Answer 5

Well, you are on the right track. First, her dad is scum, to cheat on a woman. Personally, when I was married, I did not even consider dating until I had the divorce decree in my hands...but that's just me.

I would write an email to both, the father and the woman. You should assume, while writing this letter, that the woman knows nothing of the family. He could have told her anything...that his family died in a car wreck, they left him, whatever, you just don't know...so, don't threaten her or personally attack her. Approach her with the tear-jerking story and the father with something like I won't tell mom if you break it off now and promise on your life to me that you will NEVER do it again.

Answer 6

This has absolutely NOTHING to do with the broad, he is cheating with!

That should be solely focused on the father. Who cares who he's having an affair with. He's the one that should pay for this, not her. She's just something he using for sex. He might even be lying to her about being married.

Her mother should know everything and she has to take care of the problem from there. She should file for divorce, because he doesn't love her and she you cannot be married to some idiot that doesn't love her and is screwing someone else.

Answer 7

You want to know something I can tell you from personal experience? When your partner is cheating and other people know it and don't tell you - even when they have the best of intentions - IT HURTS when you do find out.
You wonder if they thought you too weak, or why you were so ignorant, or how many other people knew and kept it from you. You FEEL like everyone knew but you, and that makes you feel small.
I would suggest rather than trying to "fix" this problem herself, she enlists the support of another adult, who both she and her mother trusts, and talk to the Mum about this.

Answer 8

You need to actually go with your friend and see this person if possible, send her pictures of the family, and the happy times, and there is not too much more she can do...Other than talking to her father...

My dad was 14 when he found his father cheating on his mom, and it broke his heart, he confronted the lady, and his father and neither of them cared enough. the heart ache actually gave my grandmother no will to live, and she died in her sleep. Please be careful, in whatever you do, i think you should get your parents together and talk to them together and find a way for your mom to be happy, in the long run, i am truly sorry you and her need to go through this...

God bless your friend and her mother...

You sound like a caring individual..

Answer 9

you should talk to the man first...

sometimes the other women is unaware she is the other women,, men lie,,, she may think she just met a single man, not knowing he already has a family...

now if he knows that the family knows of his cheating,, and the other women does in fact know that he is already married with a family,,, then go for the guilt trip...

personally, if my husband were cheating, and someone i know had seen this going on and had proof, i would like for that person to tell me, however difficult it may be... i would want to know...

Answer 10

i think that ur friend's story i.e actual story is painful enough.
instead of cooking up ur idea,take ur friend's actual feelings towards this whole issue of her dad seeing somebody else,and write down the whole essence of it and send it to that woman.
usually parents often don't know what goes on in their child's mind when they split up.this is exactly what u r going to write about.any woman is sensitive to a child's feelings and emotions.that should drive her out.
also ask her to talk to her father about this-THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT.
sometimes it takes a true honest talk to straighten people up.the adv with ur friend is that she is a child .true this thing is between her parents ,but every child has a right to not belong in a broken family
i really admire u for what u r doing for ur friend.